Yes, the rumors are all true; MacGruber the movie is coming out

Started by iamrogue, February 02, 2010, 07:31:45 PM

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iamrogue

Only one American hero has earned the rank of Green Beret, Navy SEAL and Army Ranger. Just one operative has been awarded 16 purple hearts, 3 Congressional Medals of Honor and 7 presidential medals of bravery. And only one guy is man enough to still sport a mullet. In 2010, Will Forte brings Saturday Night Live's clueless soldier of fortune to the big screen in the action comedy MacGruber.

You can check out the restricted trailer online, and a chance to win 2 tickets to see the premier of "MacGruber"!

Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

garbon

"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

jimmy olsen

 Hadn't even heard of this since I don't watch SNL. Apparently it's horrifically bad and the ensuing lawsuit will probably destroy the production company. :lol:

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/exclusive-macgyver-holding-macgruber-hostage-9114
QuoteExclusive: MacGyver Holding MacGruber Hostage
By Kellvin Chavez on February 02, 2010    
            
Exclusive: MacGyver Holding MacGruber Hostage Once again our new trusted (100%) source "Pinche Taco" is at again and this time he has the low down on the upcoming "MacGruber" movie.

As most of you know MacGruber is a recurring sketch on the NBC television series Saturday Night Live, that first appeared on the show back in 2007.

The sketch stars Will Forte as special operations agent MacGruber, who is tasked in each episode with deactivating a ticking bomb but becomes distracted by personal issues, resulting in the bomb's detonation and the deaths of his companions and himself.

The sketch is a parody of the 1985-1992 adventure series MacGyver. AND HERE IS WHERE IT GETS JUICY.

This is what "Pinche Taco" tells us:

Hola Chicos, Estoy Los Pinche Taco with the latest blatherings de nada de los Ninos de Hollywood!

Everyone knows MACGRUBER, don't they?  The lame Saturday Night Live Sketch which is a parody of  MacGyver.  Will Forte plays this one note character on the long dead SNL.  Basically he's always one minute from death and tries to save the day using household objects like paperclips.  It was amusing the first time and then in true SNL fashion they've done it a hundred times more.  Not funny.  El chiste no existe!.

Now of course, anyone who watches movies knows that  back in the day Lorne Michaels of SNL had a mini career of making shit movies out of SNL sketches.  He made the decent WAYNE'S WORLD and then piles of crappy films from IT'S PAT to STUART SMALLEY SAVES THE WORLD to A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY.  Hollywood wised up and told Lorne and SNL where they could stick their shitty films.  Nowadays, with such dungalicious sketches as GILLEY, they instead make TV movies out of them.

But time goes by, which means executives get fired weekly and new ones come in.  And eventually you find someone who just doesn't remember how crappy the SNL films were.

So Lorne and Forte write a shit ass script for MacGruber.  Madre de dios, I read it, they took a 2 minute sketch and just stretched it past basic ball bearings.  They then went to Paramount, where they made all their other peliculas de mierda.  And even though the geniuses at Paramount let Twilight go, let Alex Cross go, they were wise enough to say no to this shit.

Then along comes Relativity.  They are investors in everything, although a simple analysis would seem to indicate that they are losing people's money an awful lot.  They spent $175million of other people's money to buy ROGUE, the Universal genre label and have only released THE PERFECT GETAWAY (que?) in over a year.  And Taco's favorite, they bought the rights to the cool comic book HACK/SLASH for between $150 and $250 thousand dollars, gave an advance to Alexandra Milchan of  $250,000 to produce.  She just happened to be the wife of employee Scott Lambert.  Her first goal?  To turn a beloved Slasher comic into Twilight.  WTF.  Then Lambert gets fired and the whole thing implodes.


That's Relativity.


So of course when MacGruber shows up they pony up a mere $15m of other people's money to make the crapfest.

BUT their legal people seem to be asleep at the wheel.  You see, the laws of Parody are extremely strict.  You can do a 5 page mockery of the Fantastic Four in MAD MAGAZINE ( I always loved their movie parodies!).  You can do a 4 minute sketch mocking It's A Wonderful Life on SNL or MadTv.  But it is a limited right, chicos!  You can't suddenly do a comic called The Fantastical Four and not get sued blind by Marvel.  I mean it is so obvious yo no comprendo.  If this were NOT the law, then Fox could be doing a film with Homer Simpson called SpiderPig.

So there's this rich guy named Lee Zolotoff.  Real Cowboy type.  He created MacGyver and is working on the film at New Line Cinema.  And he is in the wings I hear tell with the Madre of all lawsuits. Not just to shut the film down and save us from this cinematic hell.  No.  He's looking at Relativity for dolares.  Mucho Dolares.  And it seems likely that he would get it too. Again, think about it- otherwise I could make the YAWNING- Y MEN about some bored mutants without pissing Fox off.  And of course I can't.

The biggest comedy routine is that according to a posting I read over at Nikki Finke, the test scores for this film are in the 30s.  The LOWEST I was aware of before this were in the 60s..  So they are going to be in this can't win lawsuit over a really pobre film.

Not even MacGyver himself can save this one!


So there you have clear cut and simple, stay tuned as more develops.
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

jimmy olsen

It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

katmai

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Eddie Teach

To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

MadImmortalMan

Track its IP. See if its the same as that girl who was spamming us about that brothers movie.
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

DisturbedPervert

Quote from: MadImmortalMan on February 02, 2010, 08:54:10 PM
Track its IP. See if its the same as that girl who was spamming us about that brothers movie.

She never showed her tits either   :mad: