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Started by Korea, March 10, 2009, 06:24:26 AM

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Valmy

#91275
May 05, 2024, 09:25:32 PM
Quote from: Sophie Scholl on May 05, 2024, 09:18:53 PMAs someone with a rather unique perspective on this: men need to stop talking, listen, and do better. A lot better. As bad as you may think it is? It is worse.  :(

Tell me more  :ph34r:
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Sophie Scholl

#91276
May 05, 2024, 09:34:27 PM
I spent 40ish years of my life feeling absolutely safe no matter where I went. I have spent a year getting catcalled, followed, threatened, touched, groped, inappropriately talked to, propositioned, and more. I thought I understood how bad it was before. I thought I was a good "ally". I thought I knew the depths that men went to in pursuit of women. I was wrong.
"Everything that brought you here -- all the things that made you a prisoner of past sins -- they are gone. Forever and for good. So let the past go... and live."

"Somebody, after all, had to make a start. What we wrote and said is also believed by many others. They just don't dare express themselves as we did."

Valmy

#91277
May 05, 2024, 09:53:20 PM
Quote from: Sophie Scholl on May 05, 2024, 09:34:27 PMI spent 40ish years of my life feeling absolutely safe no matter where I went. I have spent a year getting catcalled, followed, threatened, touched, groped, inappropriately talked to, propositioned, and more. I thought I understood how bad it was before. I thought I was a good "ally". I thought I knew the depths that men went to in pursuit of women. I was wrong.

Ok I believe you. But you seem to blame yourself as being a bad "ally". Some of the stuff you describe is actually illegal to do so it isn't like there is some sense that these men could reasonably understand what they are doing isn't wrong. What should you have done differently in those 40ish years?

Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Sophie Scholl

#91278
May 05, 2024, 10:18:17 PM
I meant more as in being in denial of who I really am by putting ally in quotes.  ;)

As to what to do differently? Believe women. Just because you know something to be illegal or wrong doesn't make it so. Especially if such things are more or less socially accepted or at least tolerated. Speak up more when you see guys being creepy or when you see women being uncomfortable or they tell you that they are. You'll never really get it unless you are a woman, but trying to be better and trying to ensure those around you are better is important as heck. Be honest with yourself and what you are or are not doing. Ask women friends/family what you can do better, what you're doing right, or what you're doing wrong. Accept criticism.  That's really basic stuff, but it is a great start!  :hug:
"Everything that brought you here -- all the things that made you a prisoner of past sins -- they are gone. Forever and for good. So let the past go... and live."

"Somebody, after all, had to make a start. What we wrote and said is also believed by many others. They just don't dare express themselves as we did."
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