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Best User Review Ever - Valheim

Started by Berkut, September 16, 2021, 09:55:39 AM

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Berkut

This is hilarious:


https://store.steampowered.com/app/892970/Valheim/


Quote
POSTED: AUGUST 18
1. Tell your friends about the game. Nobody is interested
2. Argue why everyone should buy it. Everyone disagrees.
3. After a long persuasion, everyone reluctantly agrees to buy the game.
4. Start the game and play together for couple of hours. Be unable to continue. Your friends continue anyway.
5. Come back after couple of days. The village has been built and the first two bosses has been slain.
6. Follow your friends as they manically introduce all their new gear and weapons. Fake laugh alongside your friends. Play couple hours and tell them you will have more time to play in weekend. Disconnect from the server.
7. Come back again in Friday. Check your friends' steam profiles. See that they have played Valheim for over 100 hours during the last week.
8. Enter the server. The whole kingdom with taverns, castles and stonewalls has been built. Only the final boss is remaining to be slain. Admire your friends new attire; glimmering swords and golden capes. Listen to your friends when they guide you to how to skip the entire game to get the best gear available. Find your personal corner with your bed and crappy gear turned to a storage room. The only house you previously built is used as a pen for breeding boars. Fake laugh again alongside your friends.
9. Follow your friends as they leave the base to gather materials. Encounter the first low level mob that kills you due to your low level and poor gear. Resurrect and spin around the base without any purpose for couple hours. Quit the game when your friends are still on their voyage.
10. Next morning check your WhatsApp where your friends boast on the group chat how they have slayed the final boss and finished the game. Nobody is interested to play it anymore. Uninstall the game for good.


5/5 great experience.



"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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Berkut

I am definitely intrigued by the game. The idea at least sounds pretty awesome.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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Syt

Haven't played it but it seems to be super popular.
If we want to prevent catastrophic economic and societal change we will have to radically change our climate system.

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

The Brain

I got 264h in the game. I think it's awesome.

Haven't played in a few months, but new update dropped today. Nice.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Berkut

I just grabbed it. Its on sale for $16, so why not?
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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Syt

New big update is also dropping tomorrow, I think; may break save games IIRC.
If we want to prevent catastrophic economic and societal change we will have to radically change our climate system.

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

The Brain

I will check out the new update tomorrow. I see there's some whining from players, but isn't there always?
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Josquius

I got a mail to say its on sale earlier. Have been tempted. Heard much of its popularity.
Languish server?
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viper37

I think I got a few other contenders for Amazon's New World:
https://kotaku.com/amazon-mmo-new-world-as-told-by-steam-reviews-1847759723

"I waited so long for this game that I got bored and had two kids."

I don't do meditation.  I drink alcohol to relax, like normal people.

If Microsoft Excel decided to stop working overnight, the world would practically end.

Rex Francorum

Tried Valheim twice and didn't like it. I was refund twice.
To rent

Berkut

Would anyone be interested in a Languish shared server?
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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The Brain

Quote from: Berkut on May 02, 2022, 08:51:22 AMWould anyone be interested in a Languish shared server?

I might be. :)
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Solmyr

I might be interested in trying it with Languishites.

Darth Wagtaros

PDH!

Josquius

I'm still tempted by the game. That would push me over the edge.
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