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The Onion sells out...to China!

Started by The Larch, July 21, 2009, 06:44:19 AM

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Josquius

#1
July 21, 2009, 07:01:13 AM Last Edit: July 21, 2009, 07:03:18 AM by Tyr
:lol:
I wonder what Yu Wan Mei actually means (if anything...)

And what brought this on? Have the Chinese bought a real paper too?
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Kaeso

#2
July 21, 2009, 07:11:31 AM
Watched yesterday the "Today Now" video  about the productive wife gone missing :lol:

Razgovory

#3
July 21, 2009, 07:33:46 AM Last Edit: July 21, 2009, 07:40:37 AM by Razgovory
 :lol:

In my head all the articles are read by the strident chinese news reader from People's General.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxC4BGqPVuQ&feature=related
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

DisturbedPervert

#4
July 21, 2009, 10:43:06 AM
Quote from: The Larch on July 21, 2009, 06:44:19 AM
Here's a statement of the publisher:

http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/well_ive_sold_the_paper_to

QuoteAfter subjecting me to a good 20 minutes of infernal bowing and other assorted chinky-dinkery

:lmfao:

saskganesh

#5
July 21, 2009, 12:08:02 PM
pretty good. I wonder if the Chinese "get it?"
humans were created in their own image

derspiess

#6
July 21, 2009, 12:29:06 PM
Quote from: saskganesh on July 21, 2009, 12:08:02 PM
pretty good. I wonder if the Chinese "get it?"

Highly doubt it.  If they thought an obviously fake article was real news in the past, they probably have the PLA scrambling right now to find out if they own a company called Yu Wan Mei.

I know American-style sarcasm doesn't always translate well.  My mother in law is unable to detect any of it, for example.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

saskganesh

#7
July 21, 2009, 12:48:09 PM
I figured.

anyone have an idea about Chinese Comedy? Does it exist and is it funny?
humans were created in their own image

jimmy olsen

#8
July 21, 2009, 12:49:20 PM
Very funny.  :D
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

DisturbedPervert

#9
July 21, 2009, 01:21:09 PM
Quote from: saskganesh on July 21, 2009, 12:48:09 PM
anyone have an idea about Chinese Comedy? Does it exist and is it funny?

Jackie Chan can be amusing.

The Larch

#10
July 21, 2009, 01:58:12 PM
QuoteCollapsed Mine Used As Excuse To Stall Coal Extraction

CASSVILLE, WV—Although rescue workers have cleared a path wide enough for the usable coal to be extracted through, and miners trapped inside are not so hurt or oxygen-deprived that they could not continue with their tasks, Willard Energy officials decided to halt operations Monday following the collapse of one of their most profitable mines. Company CEO Kenneth Morgan, who should know better than to let emotion interfere with business, offered no explanation as to why paramedics currently digging out the miners are not also collecting coal, or at the very least sending back a load of the precious resource with every body they find. At press time, the Mine Safety and Health Administration has yet to investigate how this tragedy, which may leave tons of coal forever entombed, could have been prevented. 鱼

Lucidor

#11
July 21, 2009, 02:29:19 PM
I like this new theme to the stories... :D

Jacob

#12
July 21, 2009, 02:35:39 PM
Sounds like the Onion has a very shaky grasp on the differences between Japanese and Chinese.  I suppose it is to be expected.

Valmy

#13
July 21, 2009, 02:59:02 PM
Quote from: Jacob on July 21, 2009, 02:35:39 PM
Sounds like the Onion has a very shaky grasp on the differences between Japanese and Chinese.  I suppose it is to be expected.

Wow I hope none of that applies to the Japanese.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Eddie Teach

#14
July 21, 2009, 03:10:48 PM
To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?
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