US Election Week 2020

[Eddie Teach]

It's as if they're in a chicken race.

[The Minsky Moment]

Roy Moore put in an amicus, so yes this is the mother of all legal shit shows.

[grumbler]

It's as if they're in a chicken race.

  Who is "they" and what is a "chicken race?"

[Solmyr]

This just in:  Narnia has just joined the Texas lawsuit.

Emperor NortonDonald should be proclaimed shortly.

[Barrister]

Roy Moore put in an amicus, so yes this is the mother of all legal shit shows.

I'm just a poor, humble Alberta trial lawyer and the ways of appellate courts scare and confuse me, but I could have sworn you needed to get leave to file an amicus brief...

(you do in order to appear as an intervener in Canada)

[Razgovory]

https://www.vice.com/en/article/7k94kz/giuliani-says-democrats-used-usb-ports-passed-around-like-vials-of-heroin-to-commit-election-fraud?utm_source=vicenewsfacebook&fbclid=IwAR3tJL5pb56eVlX63Tdh9KmwSKlc-QcdZ-MaEtI4e67z1bnNdkAuXn8ecVU

Why?  Just why?

Rudy Giuliani was once supposed to be Donald Trump's cybersecurity advisor, even though his only credentials in the field of information security were that he scammed some people into thinking he was a cybersecurity expert.

This week, Giuliani proved once again that he has no idea what he's talking about.

In a Zoom call with Georgia legislators on Thursday, Giuliani went on one of his usual baseless rants about election fraud, claiming that the Democrats are covering it up with the aid of Republican politicians in the state. He then said something that we have spent hours trying to decipher.

He said that some people were "quite obviously surreptitiously passing around USB ports as if they are vials of heroin or cocaine. It's obvious to anyone who is a criminal investigator or prosecutor that they were engaged in surreptitious illegal activity."

Later, he claimed that prosecutors should search poll workers home for "evidence of USB ports, for evidence of voter fraud because they were obviously engaged in it."

Do you have any idea what the hell Giuliani is talking about? We'd love to hear from you. Using a non-work phone or computer, you can contact Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai securely on Signal at +1 917 257 1382, OTR chat at [email protected], or email [email protected].

I really wish I could explain to you how anyone could be passing around USB ports. A port is where you plug something, not something you carry around, unless you're carrying around a computer or laptop. It's more likely Giuliani was referring to USB drives, which are used in some states to move votes from voting machines that should be isolated from the internet. For the record, there has been no evidence that moving data from voting machines to other computers' via flash drives led to any fraud whatsoever. In fact, of the roughly 50 lawsuits filed by Trump's elite team of lawyers, 35 have already been dropped or dismissed as of Friday. 

And even if we accept that he meant USB drives, I wish I could explain how that's comparable to passing around drugs.

It's almost as if Giuliani's cyberbrain was hacked into by a Cyberpunk 2077 character who's talking about black market cyberdecks or something. Ultimately, it's impossible to say what he means because he has no idea what he's talking about.

[The Minsky Moment]

Roy Moore put in an amicus, so yes this is the mother of all legal shit shows.

I'm just a poor, humble Alberta trial lawyer and the ways of appellate courts scare and confuse me, but I could have sworn you needed to get leave to file an amicus brief...

(you do in order to appear as an intervener in Canada)

Roy Moore has leave from the Lord God himself, who conferred the amicus brief upon Moore at Mt. Sinai.

[The Minsky Moment]

Meanwhile my Congressman Bill Pascrell has written to Speaker Pelosi, asking her to deny seats to the members signing the amicus on the grounds they are insurrectionists barred from serving by the 14th Amendment.

Texas crazy thinks its crazy but they haven't seen real crazy till they've seen Jersey crazy.

[Valmy]

My do nothing worthless representative did not sign this crazy thing. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that John Carter (TX-31) most impresses me by not doing things because that is his specialty.

[Eddie Teach]

The Martian?

[Valmy]

The Martian?

If only.

[grumbler]

The Martian?

  John Carter of book fame was not a Martian.  He was just on Mars, interacting with Martians.  In fact, as I recall, he wasn't just an earthling, he was an Insurrectionist.

[PDH]

Well, he was John Carter of Mars in the last book title...

[grumbler]

Well, he was John Carter of Mars in the last book title...

  So, by that logic, Tarzan of the Apes is an ape?

[PDH]

Well, sorta...