Help Cal plan a cruise

[Caliga]

Paula Deen used to have a cruise. Cal would like that. Butter wrapped butter.

No blacks allowed either.

[alfred russel]

Your old pal Cal is looking into the possibility of going on a cruise this coming December.

Right now I'm looking at two itineraries:

One leaves from Miami and stops in San Juan, St. Maarten, and St. Kitts.

The other leaves from San Juan and stops in Barbados, St. Lucia, Antigua, St. Maarten, and St. Thomas.

Are any of the above places either super awesome or total shitholes?  The cruise line is Celebrity.  I'm open to other suggestions except Carnival (sorry, I don't go on ghetto cruises), and had also been looking at Norwegian, Royal Caribbean, and Princess.

Never have gone on a cruise, but it seems whichever option you choose, you will contract zika. Have fun!

[Ed Anger]

Paula Deen used to have a cruise. Cal would like that. Butter wrapped butter.

No blacks allowed either.

[Caliga]

Never have gone on a cruise, but it seems whichever option you choose, you will contract zika.

So?  I ain't a pregnant chick.

[alfred russel]

Never have gone on a cruise, but it seems whichever option you choose, you will contract zika.

So?  I ain't a pregnant chick.

Are you going with a female companion? Have you thought of her? It is possible that while visiting one of these islands, she will meet an islander and magic will happen, sort of like "how stella got her groove back".   

[Caliga]

Are you going with a female companion? Have you thought of her? It is possible that while visiting one of these islands, she will meet an islander and magic will happen, sort of like "how stella got her groove back".   

[Tonitrus]

Oh, and no to Disney Cruises.

http://www.cunard.com/cruise-search/book-a-cruise/cruises/qm/1876-m628-nyc1-nyc2/

Also on this cruise:

On Board Speakers
Angela Schneider - Music Historian
Angela Schneider - Historian
Angela Schneider holds Masters Degrees in Music and Medieval History from Aachen University. Angela has also been involved in the popular new field of culinary history, which studies the ways in which food has shaped social, cultural and political history.

Angela is much in demand as a speaker on Classical music – a natural fit, as she is a violist with the Vancouver Symphony. Her presentations are relaxed and humorous, yet informative, and have been enthusiastically received by a wide range of audiences from university campuses, culinary schools, concert goers to cruise ships.

Angela also teaches viola and Music History at the VSO Music School, gives frequent pre-concert talks, and teaches Culinary History at Capilano University.

Suitable for Languish history-nerds? (and she might have big boobs)

[Barrister]

Val is not in his 60s.  Cal should not be going on cruises.

Or, if Cal simply must go on a cruise, I believe I am required to recommend an Alaskan cruise.

[alfred russel]

Val is not in his 60s.  Cal should not be going on cruises.

I agree. If I ever discover that I am on a cruise, maybe because I got old and got Alzheimer's and forgot that cruises suck, I will jump off the front of the boat to be chopped into a thousand pieces by the propellers as penance for my mistake. But it will not be enough for salvation, because going on a cruise is unforgivable.

[Admiral Yi]

I think modern ship design positions the propellers at the back now Dorsey.

[Monoriu]

Val is not in his 60s.  Cal should not be going on cruises.

I agree. If I ever discover that I am on a cruise, maybe because I got old and got Alzheimer's and forgot that cruises suck, I will jump off the front of the boat to be chopped into a thousand pieces by the propellers as penance for my mistake. But it will not be enough for salvation, because going on a cruise is unforgivable.

I am not too keen about cruise trips either.  Too many hidden expenses, the room is too small, the food is crap, the ship is too crowded etc. 

But I think the cruise is not a bad way to see remote places like Antarctica.  It is probably the most comfortable and painless way to go there. 

[alfred russel]

I think modern ship design positions the propellers at the back now Dorsey.

Yeah, but if you jump off the back you land in the water behind the propellers. You have to jump off the front and get bounced under the ship to end up getting chewed up by the propellers.

[jimmy olsen]

I assume the cruise with more stops is longer? If so, go with that one.

[Josquius]

Why not just visit these places without the agony of being stuck on a ship with a bunch of dioreah ridden oldies?

[Maladict]

Mal: That is a major reason for why I want to visit St. Maarten actually.

I thought as much when I saw it on both itineraries.