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300 years ago today: Poltava

Started by The Brain, June 28, 2009, 03:12:22 AM

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The Brain

June 28, 2009, 03:12:22 AM
Today 300 years ago valiant Swedes fought the hordes of the Great Enemy and received quite a smacking. The Battle of Poltava they call it.

Charles XII, heroic Swedish warrior king, lay wounded and was unable to lead his men in the battle. Even so, with a mighty KEKEKEKEKE he ordered the by then famous Swede rush, the tactic that had brought so many victories to Swedish arms over the previous nine years. Alas Peter the Great, Russian circus giant/supreme ruler, managed to put enough soldiers and guns and fortifications in the way of the Swedes, wore them down and finally won a great victory.

Today we remember this battle and the men who fought it. NB we don't remember fucking deserters who got what they deserved.

12 years later the Russians managed to turn this battlefield success into a very profitable peace.

Those who need help remembering what happened can click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Poltava

Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Tamas

#1
June 28, 2009, 03:15:32 AM
 :(

Syt

#2
June 28, 2009, 03:18:06 AM
Poltava1709 was my office network password at one point. :nerd:
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Razgovory

#3
June 28, 2009, 03:20:16 AM
The only thing worse then a Russian empire is a Swedish one.  We'd all be eating those rancid meat balls.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Razgovory

#4
June 28, 2009, 03:36:58 AM
Yay!  I achieved the rank of Toaster!
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Zanza

#5
June 28, 2009, 03:45:01 AM
It's also the 90th anniversary of the Versailles Treaty.

The Brain

#6
June 28, 2009, 03:49:22 AM
Today is a hot and sunny day in Stockholm. Not a cloud in the sky. Just like that day in the Ukraine long ago.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Martinus

#7
June 28, 2009, 04:12:52 AM
Quote from: Syt on June 28, 2009, 03:18:06 AM
Poltava1709 was my office network password at one point. :nerd:

I thought I'm the only one who makes passwords composed of battle location and year. :ph34r:

Martinus

#8
June 28, 2009, 04:13:33 AM
Anyway, Swedes got what they deserved. And their King was a retard. KEKEKEKEKE.

Syt

#9
June 28, 2009, 04:41:18 AM
Quote from: Martinus on June 28, 2009, 04:12:52 AM
Quote from: Syt on June 28, 2009, 03:18:06 AM
Poltava1709 was my office network password at one point. :nerd:

I thought I'm the only one who makes passwords composed of battle location and year. :ph34r:

I've moved on to Olympics since then.
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Norgy

#10
June 28, 2009, 07:50:39 AM
 :w00t:

Swedes had it coming. Damn Nazis.

Admiral Yi

#11
June 28, 2009, 08:03:04 AM
Would anyone care to explain the logic of the Poltava campaign to me?  Something to do with Ottomans?

When I look at a map and ask myself the question what's the best route for Sweden to invade Russia Poltava is not the first answer that leaps to mind.

Slargos

#12
June 28, 2009, 08:38:05 AM
Quote from: Martinus on June 28, 2009, 04:13:33 AM
Anyway, Swedes got what they deserved. And their King was a retard. KEKEKEKEKE.

You're dead to me.

Slargos

#13
June 28, 2009, 08:41:25 AM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on June 28, 2009, 08:03:04 AM
Would anyone care to explain the logic of the Poltava campaign to me?  Something to do with Ottomans?

When I look at a map and ask myself the question what's the best route for Sweden to invade Russia Poltava is not the first answer that leaps to mind.

The march towards Moscow was diverted towards the Ukraine due to attrition and horrible weather.

The idea was to link up with Masepa and his cossack forces and get some badly needed supplies for the army.

When the army under Gen Lewenhaupt protecting a supply train on its way from Livland was shattered and arrived without the guns, powder and horses that would've ensured another humiliating defeat for Peter the "great" the fate of the main army was basically sealed.

Slargos

#14
June 28, 2009, 08:49:20 AM

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