High school is still the same, and it sucks

[Admiral Yi]

My school dynamic was odd because the missionary kids were poor as dirt but had been around forever, whereas the MNC and embassy kids rotated in and out every two years or so.  So money didn't equate to status.

There were still gradations of wealth status within the missionary kids however.  Me and my friends made fun of the kids whose pants came down to the middle of their shins and those who ate ramen noodles twice a day.

[The Brain]

At my school kids were middle to upper middle class, well behaved and academically ambitious.

[Barrister]

My high school had a pretty clear socioeconomic divide.  The poor kids were dirt poor, smelled bad, always got in fights, never participated in athletics, had long, ratty hair, listened to RATT and other horrible hair bands, smoked, and had zero interest in academics.  The rest of us were mostly middle class with a few upper middle class sprinkled in.  Huge separation between the two major groups.  There were some subgroups but they were fairly fluid.

Almost everyone was white, so there was no racial or ethnic differences to come into play.

I spent one year in a regular high school.  Being a nerd to begin with, being a year younger (I had skipped a grade), and having just moved to that city I was just a total social reject.  Consequently I couldn't tell you much about the social dynamics of the place.  I think I've mostly blocked that year out of my memory - I was miserable but don't remember much.

Then two years at the all-boys Jesuit school.  So all of the dynamics brought in by girls were non existent.  As for socioeconomics... as a private school it had lots of well off kids, but as a Jesuit school they also let a lot of poor catholic kids in on bursaries.  When you combined the jacket-and-tie dress code it really cut down on a fair bit of that kind of stratification (plus even the poor kids had parents motivated enough to get them into a private school in the first place).

[Caliga]

listened to RATT and other horrible hair bands

Hey!

[Sheilbh]

American high school is more segregated along socioeconomic lines than the movies -- where everyone is rich, of course, except for the one "poor" outsider (actually from an upper-middle class background) who wins everyone over by the end of the story -- would show you.

Someone's not seen Step Up

[Capetan Mihali]

Being a nerd to begin with, being a year younger (I had skipped a grade)

  Me too.  Socially, I made up for it first by being a jokester and using a lot of swear words I learned from my father which cracked people up in grade school; and later by playing guitar and smoking cigarettes, which led to hanging out with some older "bad" kids when I was a freshman in high school, who tolerated my honors-student shit due to our shared interests.

[Capetan Mihali]

American high school is more segregated along socioeconomic lines than the movies -- where everyone is rich, of course, except for the one "poor" outsider (actually from an upper-middle class background) who wins everyone over by the end of the story -- would show you.

Someone's not seen Step Up

  Being dragged to see Stomp The Yard in the theater was enough Hollywood stepping movie for me.

[Ideologue]

There were still gradations of wealth status within the missionary kids however.  Me and my friends made fun of the kids whose pants came down to the middle of their shins and those who ate ramen noodles twice a day.

Plus ca change, huh.

[Valmy]

What about high school did you hope would change, but clearly hasn't? What did you guys have to deal with that put you in a  damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation?

I was an idiot in High School so generally everything I did damned me, but that was because I generally did stupid things. 

Damn I cannot imagine calling a girl a bitch or calling her a cocktease or a slut in High School nor any of my friends.  But then I cannot imagine doing that now so maybe that is just us.  I mean there were girls we didn't like but damn that is pretty hard core.

There was this group of total douchebags we called 'the crew' who were notorious for doing this sort of thing but the rest of us just tolerated them.  One would think those were the guys the girls didn't like but of course they were the most popular guys.  Or not, it is hard to remember now maybe they just acted popular.

I really enjoyed High School though.  I am still friends with most of my friends from those days.

[Valmy]

Almost everyone was white, so there was no racial or ethnic differences to come into play.

We had a huge one.  The vast majority of the regular school was Africa American, but the magnet program I was in which had lots of honkies and Asian kids as well and we all had different classes so we did not socialize much..  I was a band nerd so I mingled with lots of the minority kids though, but just the nerdy ones.

[Valmy]

Basically, what we both learned in this conversation is that teenage boys are horrible, horrible creatures.

Just want to throw this out there but didn't your sons have a similar opinion about teenage girls?

[garbon]

Damn I cannot imagine calling a girl a bitch or calling her a cocktease or a slut in High School nor any of my friends.  But then I cannot imagine doing that now so maybe that is just us.

I not only can imagine but also do call women bitches and sluts though not as a negative.

[Valmy]

Damn I cannot imagine calling a girl a bitch or calling her a cocktease or a slut in High School nor any of my friends.  But then I cannot imagine doing that now so maybe that is just us.

I not only can imagine but also do call women bitches and sluts though not as a negative.

That is totally different

Though generally I leave bitch-as-positive stuff to the ladies.

[Monoriu]

I had an interesting conversation with Riley the other day that's kind of disturbed me.

She was talking about how she just can't win with boys her age. (She's almost 15, and in the 9th grade.) If she's nice to them, she's a bitch for leading them on when she doesn't like them. If she's not nice to them, she's a bitch for not being nice. The conversation continued to the fact that it just gets worse when the boys get older.

You're a cocktease if you don't have sex after making out for X amount of time (or if, god forbid, you actually let them touch your tatas ), but if you don't make out with them (or let them touch your tatas), you're a frigid bitch. God forbid you actually have sex with them - and worse, enjoy it! - because then you're just a slut and a whore.

Basically, what we both learned in this conversation is that teenage boys are horrible, horrible creatures. This is how high school girls get into trouble. They really are in a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation with these guys. No matter what she does, Riley will be a bitch/slut/whore/frigid bitch.

I really thought we'd be past this 30 years after I was in high school, but no, it's just as bad as ever. Thankfully, Riley is a lot like her mother and thinks they can all go to hell (just like I did), but it sucks that this is still happening.

What about high school did you hope would change, but clearly hasn't? What did you guys have to deal with that put you in a  damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation?

Inquiring minds and all that.

When I was in school, the only thing that mattered was examinations.  Any romantic relationship was completely out of the question.  I didn't consider that aspect for one second.  Of course, given the way I am, not a surprise that no female was interested in me. 

Some of the folks dated, of course, and they eventually got married.  But the majority were like me.  Exams only.  Without good grades, I couldn't get an office job, and without an office job, there was no way I could get married.

So, what you describe here sounds bizarre to me.  Why worry about all that?  Just study. 

[Ed Anger]

The hive demands an 'A'.