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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Barrister on May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 pm

Title: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 pm
Rather than scatter them throughout different threads (and mostly the OTT) I thought I'd make this thread for my periodic kiddy stories.

All of a sudden little Timmy quite the super-polite little man.  Give him his juice?  "Thanks Daddy!".  Hand him his toy car? "Thanks Daddy!"  He might even rattle off several "Thanks Daddy"s in a row, which each get a response of "Your welcome".

Also this morning as I was putting my shoes on at 6:45 to head out the door I hear the pitter-patter of little feet behind me.  It was very nice to get a morning hug, but I don't like where this is heading for the weekend. <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 17, 2012, 02:57:32 pm
Enjoy it while it lasts. Tommy is still sweet like that to my wife, but not to me anymore.  Oddly, he probably says "please" and "thank you" to me more often, but I guess that's because I enforce manners.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 17, 2012, 02:59:41 pm
Sure, he's cute now, but wait until he sets the bathroom curtains on fire, wrecks the family car, and drops out of college to support his preggo high school girlfriend, Shaniqua.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 17, 2012, 03:00:54 pm
Sure, he's cute now, but wait until he sets the bathroom curtains on fire, wrecks the family car, and drops out of college to support his preggo high school girlfriend, Shaniqua.

Somehow I feel the urge to watch Road Trip now.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 17, 2012, 03:03:47 pm
Sure, he's cute now, but wait until he sets the bathroom curtains on fire, wrecks the family car, and drops out of college to support his preggo high school girlfriend, Shaniqua.

Somehow I feel the urge to watch Road Trip now.

WHATD YOU DO KILL A LEOPARD
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 17, 2012, 03:04:49 pm
Sure, he's cute now, but wait until he sets the bathroom curtains on fire, wrecks the family car, and drops out of college to support his preggo high school girlfriend, Shaniqua.

Somehow I feel the urge to watch Road Trip now.

WHATD YOU DO KILL A LEOPARD

:D

"You guys wanna smoke some drugs?"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 17, 2012, 03:07:23 pm
Also this morning as I was putting my shoes on at 6:45 to head out the door I hear the pitter-patter of little feet behind me.  It was very nice to get a morning hug, but I don't like where this is heading for the weekend. <_<

Wait until grade school. That's when they discover the joys of being impossible to get up during the week (so very, very sleepy), while bursting out of bed at 6 AM full of vim and vigour on the weekend.  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 17, 2012, 03:08:58 pm
He's not always so sweet. <_<

Picking him up from the dayhome yesterday was great.  As soon as I knock on the door I hear Timmy's voice going "Daddy! Daddy!", and when the door is opened he comes over to give me a great big hug, then he runs around to grab his blankie and water cup so we can go.

But rewind back one more day.  Now it's nice outside, and he's playing in the backyard.  He zooming around on a tricycle (no peddles, just pushing with his feet).  Now he has no interest in daddy or going home, and starts screaming when I go to pick him up after lots of warning.  The screaming goes on for several minutes, until it stops as suddenly as it started. <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 17, 2012, 03:28:38 pm
dayhome, PC for daycare? How expensive is it in your neck of the woods?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 17, 2012, 03:31:23 pm
Also this morning as I was putting my shoes on at 6:45 to head out the door I hear the pitter-patter of little feet behind me.  It was very nice to get a morning hug, but I don't like where this is heading for the weekend. <_<

Wait until grade school. That's when they discover the joys of being impossible to get up during the week (so very, very sleepy), while bursting out of bed at 6 AM full of vim and vigour on the weekend.  :D

That's exactly what Tommy does now-- in pre-school :mellow:

I don't even know how it happens, since most days he doesn't know if it's a school day for him or not.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 17, 2012, 03:50:05 pm
dayhome, PC for daycare? How expensive is it in your neck of the woods?

Daycare is a large facility with 20 or more kids and several staff.

A dayhome is run out of someone's home.  Our is regulated, but before we were with an unregulated (read: under the table) dayhome.  It's a nice lady with three young kids of her own, so to make ends meet she takes in 3 extra kids.  I think that's the max the law allows.

So it's nice because it's a small setting, she knows Tim very well.  The problem is if she has a problem - say a doctor's appointment - suddenly the day home is closed.  There's no other person who can take over.

It's around $600 / month.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 17, 2012, 04:37:17 pm
My kids have formed a street gang. You start shit with one, and the others will retaliate.

Saw that at the park today. Some brat pushed one of the twins and the other twin and her brother came out of NOWHERE to dispense justice. 3 VS 1 BEATDOWN.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 17, 2012, 04:51:33 pm
lol, got yourself an old school family crew working that side of town, Ed.  WE NEED A TASK FORCE ON THE ANGER FAMILY
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 17, 2012, 04:55:56 pm
And when the second set of twins turn 3, it will be 5 on 1 beatdown time.

COLORS.

Ain't no turning back, homes.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Josephus on May 17, 2012, 05:02:51 pm
Sure, he's cute now, but wait until he sets the bathroom curtains on fire, wrecks the family car, and drops out of college to support his preggo high school girlfriend, Shaniqua.

and then vote for a left-leaning party. :lmfao:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 17, 2012, 05:22:47 pm
dayhome, PC for daycare? How expensive is it in your neck of the woods?

We had the live-in Ukranian auntie ... sigh, that was wonderful.  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 17, 2012, 07:06:31 pm
My kids have formed a street gang. You start shit with one, and the others will retaliate.

Saw that at the park today. Some brat pushed one of the twins and the other twin and her brother came out of NOWHERE to dispense justice. 3 VS 1 BEATDOWN.

This is one of the best things about having lots of kids close together.

When Jeremy was around 8 or 9, a bully a few years older was harassing him to the point of tears. The older boys didn't find out until Jeremy got lost coming home because he tried to take a different route to avoid the bully. The next day, I get a call from the school. Carter and Jak had joined up and scared the shit out of the much older, much bigger bully. To the point that the bully's mother went to the school and complained about it.

Has worked well ever since. No one picks on any of them - even the girl; maybe especially the girl - because it's a gimme that there will be a posse after them if they do. :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 17, 2012, 07:18:24 pm
Street justice is the best justice. :yes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 17, 2012, 07:34:17 pm
Street justice is the best justice. :yes:

Tell that to the stupid principal.  :glare:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 17, 2012, 07:35:54 pm
Street justice is the best justice. :yes:

Tell that to the stupid principal.  :glare:

Icepick the principal's tires.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: 11B4V on May 17, 2012, 07:43:22 pm
Quote
Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

or Marti's worst nightmare :lol:.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Habbaku on May 17, 2012, 08:14:09 pm
"Your welcome"

 :cry:  Little Tim is going to grow up to be like Timmay if this keeps up.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Habbaku on May 17, 2012, 08:16:06 pm
Quote
Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

or Marti's worst nightmare :lol:.

Glitter-toes has plenty of warning from the thread title.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: KRonn on May 17, 2012, 08:16:21 pm
Sure, he's cute now, but wait until he sets the bathroom curtains on fire, wrecks the family car, and drops out of college to support his preggo high school girlfriend, Shaniqua.

Ah yes, something to look forward to in the growth of one's offspring! 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 18, 2012, 07:02:06 am
THE WIGGLES BROKE UP.   :cry:

Except blue shirt guy is gonna carry on. WTF IS THIS SHIT.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 18, 2012, 07:03:55 am
:rolleyes:

They didn't breakup, they are being replaced....and i hope you know how horrible i feel for knowing this shit.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 18, 2012, 07:05:41 am
:rolleyes:

They didn't breakup, they are being replaced....and i hope you know how horrible i feel for knowing this shit.

Whatever.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 18, 2012, 07:07:38 am
I thought the Purple One (the smart one) was shot by a deranged fan who had a copy of Goodnight, Moon on him.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 18, 2012, 07:32:01 am
dayhome, PC for daycare? How expensive is it in your neck of the woods?

Daycare is a large facility with 20 or more kids and several staff.

A dayhome is run out of someone's home.  Our is regulated, but before we were with an unregulated (read: under the table) dayhome.  It's a nice lady with three young kids of her own, so to make ends meet she takes in 3 extra kids.  I think that's the max the law allows.

So it's nice because it's a small setting, she knows Tim very well.  The problem is if she has a problem - say a doctor's appointment - suddenly the day home is closed.  There's no other person who can take over.

It's around $600 / month.

Alright. My kid also goes to a dayhome. Ariel seems to like it. There's only 5 other kids & her.

Ouch. I couldn't afford that but then again, 10% income taxes must be fun.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on May 18, 2012, 07:35:13 am
In a couple of weeks time I'm going to our local pub with my oldest and he's going to buy me a beer  :cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 08:15:48 am
In a couple of weeks time I'm going to our local pub with my oldest and he's going to buy me a beer  :cheers:

Awwwwww :wub:

My son has fluid in his ears and I am going to have to pay a bunch to get tubes put in in a week :weep:

My second son is due in August and then I get to do the baby thing all over again.  I am having a hard time remembering what exactly happened last time...it is like I have parent amnesia.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 18, 2012, 08:21:46 am
My son has fluid in his ears and I am going to have to pay a bunch to get tubes put in in a week :weep:

Awww.

Quote
My second son is due in August and then I get to do the baby thing all over again.  I am having a hard time remembering what exactly happened last time...it is like I have parent amnesia.

I noticed it with my sister, and all her friends with 2nd kids:  the first one, you watch your step with every move, the hovering is virtually fascist when it comes to the child.  It's eggshells.
Once the 2nd one shows up, you're like, meh, no biggie.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 08:32:47 am
It is definitely like that for the pregnancy.  Last time we obsessed about every step.  Now it is my wife just sorta whining about it and me commiserating rather than this big thing.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 18, 2012, 08:36:34 am
Totally the same here.

We were super-prepared last time around.  Now baby is due in one month and we're like "you know, we really need to get the baby's room ready"...
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 18, 2012, 08:39:25 am
I noticed it with my sister, and all her friends with 2nd kids:  the first one, you watch your step with every move, the hovering is virtually fascist when it comes to the child.  It's eggshells.
Once the 2nd one shows up, you're like, meh, no biggie.

First kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :o "My god! The Germs! Throw this one in the trash or boil it right now!"

Second kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :unsure:"Let's wash it off real good and give it back - should be okay"

Third kid drops a pacifier on the ground:  :mellow: "Did it actually fall in shit? No? Then shove it right back in that gob"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 18, 2012, 08:53:29 am
I went thru this with the pacifier in 6 months.

They will put everything in their mouths anyway.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 08:55:31 am
I went thru this with the pacifier in 6 months.

They will put everything in their mouths anyway.

Yeah the main reason I give him a pacifier is to keep him from sticking rocks and plants and random things he finds on the floor in his mouth.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: 11B4V on May 18, 2012, 09:00:26 am
I noticed it with my sister, and all her friends with 2nd kids:  the first one, you watch your step with every move, the hovering is virtually fascist when it comes to the child.  It's eggshells.
Once the 2nd one shows up, you're like, meh, no biggie.

First kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :o "My god! The Germs! Throw this one in the trash or boil it right now!"

Second kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :unsure:"Let's wash it off real good and give it back - should be okay"

Third kid drops a pacifier on the ground:  :mellow: "Did it actually fall in shit? No? Then shove it right back in that gob"

 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Josephus on May 18, 2012, 09:13:23 am
It's the same with pictures and videos.
My brother has like 1000 pictures of the first three months of his first kid's life.
You'd be hard pressed to find more than a handful for his second kid.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 09:13:54 am
I was like how Malthus describes parents are with the third kid with my first kid after year 1  :blush:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 18, 2012, 09:44:35 pm
I was like how Malthus describes parents are with the third kid with my first kid after year 1  :blush:

I was like that almost from the get-go with my "first". Twins will do that to a person.  <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 18, 2012, 09:46:00 pm
My second son is due in August and then I get to do the baby thing all over again.  I am having a hard time remembering what exactly happened last time...it is like I have parent amnesia.

It's the only reason people have more than one kid. :contract:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 10:33:58 pm
It's the only reason people have more than one kid. :contract:

You bitter and burned out parents of teens do not belong in this thread :P

Of course when I am in your shoes you will be all like "my grandkids :wub:"  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 18, 2012, 10:52:56 pm

You bitter and burned out parents of teens do not belong in this thread :P

Of course when I am in your shoes you will be all like "my grandkids :wub:"  :lol:

Grandkids :wub: :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 18, 2012, 10:55:59 pm
Sure Meri you say that now, but when it is your sixteen year old daughter giving you grankids you won't be all so mushy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 18, 2012, 11:05:27 pm
Sure Meri you say that now, but when it is your sixteen year old daughter giving you grankids you won't be all so mushy.

:ultra:

You keep Siegy away from my daughter! :contract:

 :glare:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 18, 2012, 11:06:32 pm
I think she's too old now.  And probably too busty.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 18, 2012, 11:08:06 pm
I think she's too old now.  And probably too busty.

Nah just too fat.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 19, 2012, 12:48:30 pm
Quote
http://hypervocal.com/vids/2012/dad-and-daughter-curse-at-celtics-game-together/#

 :lol:

I had to read the comments.

Quote
Chuck Snow · Top Commenter · 50 years old
I weep for humanity. "Idiocracy" is already here.

Calm down Chuck. Nobody cares that you watched a mediocre movie.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on May 20, 2012, 02:54:58 am
My daughter graduates high school in a couple of weeks but I think it still counts.

She has been very involved in the drama department since she entered high school.  She started off acting but moved to teching and directing a couple of years ago.  She has been student director in 3 plays, she is the only student I know of to direct more than one at this school.

The last event in the drama year is called Tournament of Plays.  Each class (freshman, sophmores, etc) puts on a short one act play and the audience votes for their favorite; after three performances the winner is announced on Saturday (today).  The directors are always upperclassmen, and she ended up directing the freshman group this year.  Usually the freshman get the "Cute and Nice Effort" award but never really do that well.

Until this year.  My daughter and some boy that allegedly isn't her boyfriend herded those snotty nosed kids into putting on a very good show, The Suessification of Romeo and Juliet.  They won for Best Tech, the kid who played Romeo tied for Best Actor, they won Best Directors and Best Play.

It was very cool and well deserved, it was the best play but I didn't think they would get a fair shake.

EDIT: Oh yeah, the high school drama program was one of a very few from the US and Canada picked to go to Edinburgh Scotland in Aug 2013 to participate in the Edinburgh Art Festival.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on May 20, 2012, 05:15:01 am
My daughter and some boy that allegedly isn't her boyfriend
:lol: you sound like sucha  dad. and congrats to your daughter :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 20, 2012, 10:35:07 am
That's awesome, sbr!! I bet you're so proud!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on May 20, 2012, 11:54:15 am
Edinburgh Festival eh?

She'll need looking after  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: mongers on May 20, 2012, 04:23:08 pm
In a couple of weeks time I'm going to our local pub with my oldest and he's going to buy me a beer  :cheers:

 :cool:  :bowler:

But for the love of god, keep him away from languish.



edit:
I forgot you said he was a well adjusted lad, so no chance of him wanting to post here.   :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PDH on May 20, 2012, 04:37:31 pm
In a couple of weeks time I'm going to our local pub with my oldest and he's going to buy me a beer  :cheers:

Really?  He has the 700 bucks it takes to buy two beers in the UK?  You lucky man.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: mongers on May 20, 2012, 04:47:42 pm
In a couple of weeks time I'm going to our local pub with my oldest and he's going to buy me a beer  :cheers:

Really?  He has the 700 bucks it takes to buy two beers in the UK?  You lucky man.

PDH, that's quite a lame way of angling for an invite.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 20, 2012, 09:21:26 pm
In a couple of weeks time I'm going to our local pub with my oldest and he's going to buy me a beer  :cheers:

I missed this before but :cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valdemar on May 21, 2012, 03:49:25 am
It's the same with pictures and videos.
My brother has like 1000 pictures of the first three months of his first kid's life.
You'd be hard pressed to find more than a handful for his second kid.

My brother in law managed to convince his kid sister she was adopted by claiming that was why there were virtually no pictures of her as a baby, but plenty of him :D

V
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 21, 2012, 06:55:50 am
It's the same with pictures and videos.
My brother has like 1000 pictures of the first three months of his first kid's life.
You'd be hard pressed to find more than a handful for his second kid.

This is very, very true.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Berkut on May 21, 2012, 10:11:21 am
Got the pool opened this weekend.

Wife got a great picture of Melanie jumping in:

(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/538124_3397930099534_1008181359_32387787_642191355_n.jpg)

Wife had to post on facebook, of course, with the caption:

"My daughter can walk on water. What can yours do?"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 21, 2012, 11:05:49 am
That's an amazing bit of camera work!  :showoff:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on May 21, 2012, 11:36:13 am
Is it smart to post that picture where Siege can see it?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 21, 2012, 11:38:50 am
She is too old and fat for him anyway.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on May 21, 2012, 02:50:50 pm
Grats SBR :)

Looks like some happy kids, Berkut :)

Great thread BB :cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Arvoreen on May 21, 2012, 03:05:36 pm
My oldest daughter went to her junior prom last Friday....but I will NOT be posting any pictures here  :P

Kids are great...enjoy them while they are young....soon they start to talk back, say things like 'no'...or worse  :cry:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 21, 2012, 05:41:50 pm
It's the same with pictures and videos.
My brother has like 1000 pictures of the first three months of his first kid's life.
You'd be hard pressed to find more than a handful for his second kid.

It's all good as long as your baby home videos aren't like this:

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/worst-parent-week-dad-puts-toddler-washing-machine-183500809.html
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 21, 2012, 11:09:11 pm
My oldest daughter went to her junior prom last Friday....but I will NOT be posting any pictures here  :P

Kids are great...enjoy them while they are young....soon they start to talk back, say things like 'no'...or worse  :cry:

My kid was saying "No!" at 18 months.  When he is in a certain mood it doesn't matter what you're offering:

"Timothy, would you like a sucker?"

"No!"

*then show him the sucker and watch him race towards it*




As for obnoxious smug parenting stories... I went through the crawlspace storage looking for some packed-up baby clothes.  I didn't find the clothes, but I found something better.

Teddy.  My teddy.  Hand-made by my mommy back in '75.  Sure, he has mid-70s diaper-pins holding his arms on, and a couple of holes he is slowly losing stuffing out of.  But Baby Number 2 is definitely getting Teddy.  Or rather, excuse me, Ted. E. Bear, to give him his proper name. :wub:  I don't care if baby just chews on him, spits up on him, or whatever - it is what Ted E. Bear would want.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 22, 2012, 12:31:57 pm
My baby is all grown up and has started climbing everything.

 :cry:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 22, 2012, 08:58:08 pm
The twins like Zeppelin's No Quarter.

 :showoff:

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 24, 2012, 09:31:30 am
A not-so-smug story:

Little Tim has been getting up earlier and earlier each day.  Today it was 6am.  That's manageable during the week (I was already up), but is going to be intolerable on the weekend.  Any advice on how to get him to sleep just a little bit longer?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 24, 2012, 09:33:14 am
A not-so-smug story:

Little Tim has been getting up earlier and earlier each day.  Today it was 6am.  That's manageable during the week (I was already up), but is going to be intolerable on the weekend.  Any advice on how to get him to sleep just a little bit longer?

Benadryl?  ;)

But seriously - no idea. Wish I did!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 24, 2012, 09:35:57 am
Check to see how much light is being let in at the window. The Sun: nature's damned alarm clock.

As soon as the sunbeam hits him, he'll be up.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 24, 2012, 09:55:03 am
Check to see how much light is being let in at the window. The Sun: nature's damned alarm clock.

As soon as the sunbeam hits him, he'll be up.

In addition to the venetian blinds, we have a couple of sheets draped over his window to make it dark.  It is dark, but not pitch black.  I should give it another try.  Edmonton isn't as far north as Yukon and the perpetual light you'd get this time of year, but it is pretty far north, and the sun is supposed to rise at 5:18 tomorrow.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 24, 2012, 11:30:01 am
Why so late?!?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 24, 2012, 10:10:49 pm
(http://cf.geekdo-images.com/images/pic1322549.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on May 29, 2012, 01:15:45 pm
For the parents of toddlers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YWDQN_X5b-M

Quote
Among the Sleep is a first person horror adventure, in which you play a two year old child. After being put to bed at night, mystical things will happen.

For more info about the development of Among the Sleep, head over to our blog http://www.krillbite.com/blog or visit the project page at http://www.krillbite.com/ats
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 29, 2012, 01:31:23 pm
Somewhere Malthus asked about little Tim's first sentence.  At the time I said he hadn't said more than two words together.

Even in the last few weeks that's changed.  His first sentence I can recall was a week and a half ago from the Calgary Zoo "Hippo go lie down", which, naturally, was him commenting on the hippo which had been walking around, lying down on the ground.

But yesterday was the best.  I picked him up from dayhome, and I got a big hug and a "I love you daddy". :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 29, 2012, 04:03:53 pm
Somewhere Malthus asked about little Tim's first sentence.  At the time I said he hadn't said more than two words together.

Even in the last few weeks that's changed.  His first sentence I can recall was a week and a half ago from the Calgary Zoo "Hippo go lie down", which, naturally, was him commenting on the hippo which had been walking around, lying down on the ground.

But yesterday was the best.  I picked him up from dayhome, and I got a big hug and a "I love you daddy". :wub:

Awww. :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valdemar on May 30, 2012, 07:03:27 am
Already he knows which buttons to press  :D

V
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 30, 2012, 07:07:40 am
But yesterday was the best.  I picked him up from dayhome, and I got a big hug and a "I love you daddy". :wub:

I fed the cat late last night, and got a big "About Fucking Time, Pal."  :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 30, 2012, 07:08:44 am
 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 30, 2012, 08:45:07 am
Somewhere Malthus asked about little Tim's first sentence.  At the time I said he hadn't said more than two words together.

Even in the last few weeks that's changed.  His first sentence I can recall was a week and a half ago from the Calgary Zoo "Hippo go lie down", which, naturally, was him commenting on the hippo which had been walking around, lying down on the ground.

But yesterday was the best.  I picked him up from dayhome, and I got a big hug and a "I love you daddy". :wub:

Yesterday my son threw his first big and public temper tantrum with me.  Awwwwww

I have talked to other parents about it and it seems the best way to deal with tantrums is to be extremely passive aggressive and that is right in my wheelhouse. :w00t:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2012, 09:03:03 am
I just have to fight the urge to laugh when he has tantrums.  It's so ridiculous, especially the one or two times it's a full-out, hands and feet banging on the floor, tantrum.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 30, 2012, 09:04:42 am
I just have to fight the urge to laugh when he has tantrums.  It's so ridiculous, especially the one or two times it's a full-out, hands and feet banging on the floor, tantrum.

No it was hilarious.  I stopped to get cookies and he flipped the fuck out when he saw a whole shelf of cookies.  It was just surprising as I have taken him shopping dozens of times so I was a bit flustered.  Next time I will be ready.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2012, 09:17:20 am
I just have to fight the urge to laugh when he has tantrums.  It's so ridiculous, especially the one or two times it's a full-out, hands and feet banging on the floor, tantrum.

No it was hilarious.  I stopped to get cookies and he flipped the fuck out when he saw a whole shelf of cookies.  It was just surprising as I have taken him shopping dozens of times so I was a bit flustered.  Next time I will be ready.

I take Tim shopping all the time.  It's one of the few household chores that can be done with him hanging around.  But last weekend was the first time he started asking, nay, demanding, the various things he saw.  I did buy him an apple, but otherwise just kept on going.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Berkut on May 30, 2012, 09:31:09 am
dayhome?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2012, 09:36:16 am
dayhome?

Pretty sure I covered it within this thread.  Not a professional daycare, with 20 or more kids, but rather he goes to somebody's home.  In this case a nice Indian lady with three young kids of her own, who takes in 3 other little kids during the day.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 30, 2012, 09:41:58 am
In this case a nice Indian lady with three young kids of her own, who takes in 3 other little kids during the day.

Lakota or Slurpee?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2012, 01:09:45 pm
In this case a nice Indian lady with three young kids of her own, who takes in 3 other little kids during the day.

Lakota or Slurpee?

South Asian. :goodboy:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 30, 2012, 05:41:35 pm
Ugh. You kid will start cold calling people soon.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 30, 2012, 05:54:48 pm
Ugh. You kid will start cold calling people soon.

He'll be asking BB if he's rebooted his computer first.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 30, 2012, 05:58:38 pm
I don't know why I'm dropping letters off my words today.  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on May 30, 2012, 06:14:53 pm
Old age


:P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 31, 2012, 08:58:19 am
My son makes his toy trains fight each other.  Where the heck did he learn that?  Have I modeled: violence?  :(

He has them beat the crap out of each other and then giggles hysterically.  Thomas the Tank Engine: ULTIMATE COMBAT!!111
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 31, 2012, 09:01:10 am
It's inherent to all man.

My girl turns 1 today & BB's kid 3.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 31, 2012, 09:25:11 am
It's inherent to all man.

My girl turns 1 today & BB's kid 3.

Happy birthday to them both!!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 31, 2012, 02:24:59 pm
It's inherent to all man.

My girl turns 1 today & BB's kid 3.

It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 31, 2012, 02:28:36 pm
It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:

You're about to enter the truly hilarious part;  nothing is funnier than some of the shit they start saying from 2 through 5, when they start to learn to really communicate.  You'll be able to have a real conversation with him soon, and that shit is going to be hilarious.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 31, 2012, 02:31:03 pm
It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:

Happy birthday Tim!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 31, 2012, 02:35:10 pm
It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:

You're about to enter the truly hilarious part;  nothing is funnier than some of the shit they start saying from 2 through 5, when they start to learn to really communicate.  You'll be able to have a real conversation with him soon, and that shit is going to be hilarious.

Fave Carl quote, circa 3 or so, on seeing a really fat man after having pregancy explained: "Oh boy, he's going to have ten babies!"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 31, 2012, 02:46:50 pm
Shopping with the twins at Big Lots, Katerina sees the cookies I've been buying. Sadly for me, she overhead me call them 'polack cookies' one day and recognizes the package. So I get this today:

HEY DADDY! POLACK COOKIES! I sense every head turning my way and was silently being judged by the poors.

 :blush:

I still got me some delicious polack cookies.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 31, 2012, 02:51:45 pm
HEY DADDY! POLACK COOKIES! I sense every head turning my way and was silently being judged by the poors.

Apparently my mother had to rush me out of a grocery store because I kept pointing at a heavy-set black woman in line at the register behind us, and kept calling out "Moo cow."
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 31, 2012, 02:53:28 pm
:lol: at both of you.

Noothing super-embarassing from Tim - yet.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on May 31, 2012, 04:39:41 pm
HEY DADDY! POLACK COOKIES! I sense every head turning my way and was silently being judged by the poors.

Apparently my mother had to rush me out of a grocery store because I kept pointing at a heavy-set black woman in line at the register behind us, and kept calling out "Moo cow."

My mother took Carl swimming when he was 3 to the Columbus Centre, which is an Italian fitness place (she likes the pool there even though not Italian).

Being that Carl was only 3, she took him into the change room with her.

He said in the change room something like "Grandma, is that a woman? She has a moustache!"  :lol:

Sadly, he said it loudly. Much glaring ensued.  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 31, 2012, 09:22:06 pm
Ariel did not have a good birthday. We went to the restaurant, she wasn't an happy camper. She didn't eat anything & puker on her grand mother.

We ended up eating at home.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 31, 2012, 10:11:20 pm
Ariel did not have a good birthday. We went to the restaurant, she wasn't an happy camper. She didn't eat anything & puker on her grand mother.

We ended up eating at home.

You took a 1-year-old child to a restaurant for her birthday, and you're surprised she was miserable? :huh:

Oh honey.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 31, 2012, 10:17:45 pm
Ariel did not have a good birthday. We went to the restaurant, she wasn't an happy camper. She didn't eat anything & puker on her grand mother.

We ended up eating at home.

You took a 1-year-old child to a restaurant for her birthday, and you're surprised she was miserable? :huh:

Oh honey.

I dunno - it can be hit-and-miss for restaurants.  Be prepared to pull the pin quickly, but it can work.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 01, 2012, 12:04:48 am
We wound up sending little Timmy to his grandparents tonight - his big party is on the weekend.

Sure, we gots lots ready for his brother or sister tonight.  But I still miss the little guy. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on June 01, 2012, 07:59:11 am
Ariel did not have a good birthday. We went to the restaurant, she wasn't an happy camper. She didn't eat anything & puker on her grand mother.

We ended up eating at home.

You took a 1-year-old child to a restaurant for her birthday, and you're surprised she was miserable? :huh:

Oh honey.

No I am not, I was against the idea.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on June 01, 2012, 08:05:01 am
We wound up sending little Timmy to his grandparents tonight - his big party is on the weekend.

Sure, we gots lots ready for his brother or sister tonight.  But I still miss the little guy. :(

We have Henry's room all ready and moved David into an actual bed already.  It was the first time he has really had to deal with the stress of big changes in his environment, we wanted to get them out of the way before little bro gets here so David wouldn't be overwhelmed.  Is that the sort of thing you are getting ready for his sibling?  This has worked pretty well because he was kind of upset at first and I am glad he will not link this big change, at least, to his brother.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 12, 2012, 11:31:03 am
The latest hilarious games for little Timmy:

If me or my wife are sitting on the couch and get up he will race to where you were just sitting, climb up and give you an excited look.  We are then expected to say "I was sitting there!" at which time we are supposed to either pretend to sit on him, or tickle him mercelessly to get our seat back.  If we don't do that he'll even prompt the game by yelling "I was sitting there!".  :)

It's a bit of a pain though if you really did want to get up and move somewhere else though...


And valmy, yes to your question from 2 weeks ago.  We are trying to make the big changes for Tim before the baby comes, so as to minimize the number of big changes all at once.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on June 12, 2012, 12:04:43 pm
We are trying to make the big changes for Tim before the baby comes, so as to minimize the number of big changes all at once.

My sister did a really good job prepping my niece for her impending sister's arrival;  kept hitting on the subject that babies will need attention from Mommy and Daddy, and that she won't be forgotten.  She even did the same thing my mother did with me when my little sister arrived--I was the official "diaper-getter" when my sister needed changing  :lol:  It got Caeleigh invested in her little sister's care, and she loved being a part of it.

Be sure to make some "Tim Time", too--I distinctly remember my parents and I having our own time every Friday night, having pizza and letting me stay up late to watch Six Million Dollar Man.  That stuff matters.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 12, 2012, 12:08:12 pm
Ariel did not have a good birthday. We went to the restaurant, she wasn't an happy camper. She didn't eat anything & puker on her grand mother.

We ended up eating at home.

You took a 1-year-old child to a restaurant for her birthday, and you're surprised she was miserable? :huh:

Oh honey.

I dunno - it can be hit-and-miss for restaurants.  Be prepared to pull the pin quickly, but it can work.

Malthus sure-fire tricks to happy restauranteering with a 1 year old (or at least, sure fire for ours  :D ):

1. Those train toys with magnets at both ends - turns the table into a giant train set. Can the trains make it around the salt & pepper shakers?

2. Box full of kleenex - baby can pull the kleenex out of the box; you can then put them back. Endless fun!

3. If all else fails - there is always the iPod.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on June 12, 2012, 02:50:00 pm
We wound up sending little Timmy to his grandparents tonight - his big party is on the weekend.

Sure, we gots lots ready for his brother or sister tonight.  But I still miss the little guy. :(

Amazing how weird & sorta empty the house feels, doesn't it?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on June 12, 2012, 02:56:32 pm
We are trying to make the big changes for Tim before the baby comes, so as to minimize the number of big changes all at once.

My sister did a really good job prepping my niece for her impending sister's arrival;  kept hitting on the subject that babies will need attention from Mommy and Daddy, and that she won't be forgotten.  She even did the same thing my mother did with me when my little sister arrived--I was the official "diaper-getter" when my sister needed changing  :lol:  It got Caeleigh invested in her little sister's care, and she loved being a part of it.

Be sure to make some "Tim Time", too--I distinctly remember my parents and I having our own time every Friday night, having pizza and letting me stay up late to watch Six Million Dollar Man.  That stuff matters.

We got off to a great start with Tommy, but he slipped into a slightly jealous phase for a while that was occasionally pretty damned annoying.  Now he's generally okay but loves picking on Lola, who recently started to fight back. 

She started taking up for herself by letting out some primal scream and then biting his arm.  Now she takes whatever toy is close-by and beats him on the head.  At some point I'll probably start intervening.  For now it's too damned funny watching a short little 1-year old go nuts on her 4-year old brother. :ph34r:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on June 12, 2012, 03:04:55 pm
We got off to a great start with Tommy, but he slipped into a slightly jealous phase for a while that was occasionally pretty damned annoying.

The oldest had a jealousy-regression phase as well, like talking in baby talk that simply wasn't appropriate, or mimicking the little one's baby actions.  Gotta watch for that stuff.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 12, 2012, 03:05:33 pm
We are trying to make the big changes for Tim before the baby comes, so as to minimize the number of big changes all at once.

My sister did a really good job prepping my niece for her impending sister's arrival;  kept hitting on the subject that babies will need attention from Mommy and Daddy, and that she won't be forgotten.  She even did the same thing my mother did with me when my little sister arrived--I was the official "diaper-getter" when my sister needed changing  :lol:  It got Caeleigh invested in her little sister's care, and she loved being a part of it.

Be sure to make some "Tim Time", too--I distinctly remember my parents and I having our own time every Friday night, having pizza and letting me stay up late to watch Six Million Dollar Man.  That stuff matters.

We got off to a great start with Tommy, but he slipped into a slightly jealous phase for a while that was occasionally pretty damned annoying.  Now he's generally okay but loves picking on Lola, who recently started to fight back. 

She started taking up for herself by letting out some primal scream and then biting his arm.  Now she takes whatever toy is close-by and beats him on the head.  At some point I'll probably start intervening.  For now it's too damned funny watching a short little 1-year old go nuts on her 4-year old brother. :ph34r:

You can play that music from the original Star Trek "amok time".  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 12, 2012, 03:09:27 pm
We are trying to make the big changes for Tim before the baby comes, so as to minimize the number of big changes all at once.

My sister did a really good job prepping my niece for her impending sister's arrival;  kept hitting on the subject that babies will need attention from Mommy and Daddy, and that she won't be forgotten.  She even did the same thing my mother did with me when my little sister arrived--I was the official "diaper-getter" when my sister needed changing  :lol:  It got Caeleigh invested in her little sister's care, and she loved being a part of it.

Be sure to make some "Tim Time", too--I distinctly remember my parents and I having our own time every Friday night, having pizza and letting me stay up late to watch Six Million Dollar Man.  That stuff matters.

We got off to a great start with Tommy, but he slipped into a slightly jealous phase for a while that was occasionally pretty damned annoying.  Now he's generally okay but loves picking on Lola, who recently started to fight back. 

She started taking up for herself by letting out some primal scream and then biting his arm.  Now she takes whatever toy is close-by and beats him on the head.  At some point I'll probably start intervening.  For now it's too damned funny watching a short little 1-year old go nuts on her 4-year old brother. :ph34r:

I'm pretty sure you can count on another 14 years of that. :ph34r:

I have no doubt we're going to have some ugly jealousy issues.  Ah well.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on June 12, 2012, 03:12:48 pm
We got off to a great start with Tommy, but he slipped into a slightly jealous phase for a while that was occasionally pretty damned annoying.

The oldest had a jealousy-regression phase as well, like talking in baby talk that simply wasn't appropriate, or mimicking the little one's baby actions.  Gotta watch for that stuff.

One of my best friend's kids did that, and it was pretty bizarre.  Tommy just sat there & made demands for things when we were busy changing Lola or something.  He still sometimes tries to act like he's still an only child, but I think he's grown past the jealousy phase for the most part.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 12, 2012, 03:14:58 pm
Another smug story: with virtually no prompting by me, Timmy's favourite game when we're outside is to play hockey.  We each have a mini-stick and we whack a little red ball around the driveway.  :cool:

He also loves riding his trike - except he doesn't pedal, he just pushes himself along with his feet.  Except yesterday - he put his feet on the pedals, he pushed, and moved 3-4 inches.  He says "I did it!".

then he kept pushing with his feet the rest of the way. :frusty:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: mongers on June 12, 2012, 03:17:31 pm
 :thumbsup:

For the content of the thread, keep it coming.

And I say that as a definitive non-breeder.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 12, 2012, 03:38:51 pm
My smug story for the day - Carl is getting quite good at playing the piano, and he has a recital on Thursday. He rather enjoys it. He can play many songs with reading the music as he goes, and at least three songs from memory.

Being Carl, he makes every practice into a full concert - he mimes collecting money from the audience (my wife and I), issues us tickets, and gets my wife to act as announcer; then he comes in, takes a bow, sits down and plays - he usually can't resist making Rock-star type gestures while playing  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on June 12, 2012, 03:46:42 pm
My smug story for the day - Carl is getting quite good at playing the piano, and he has a recital on Thursday. He rather enjoys it. He can play many songs with reading the music as he goes, and at least three songs from memory.

Being Carl, he makes every practice into a full concert - he mimes collecting money from the audience (my wife and I), issues us tickets, and gets my wife to act as announcer; then he comes in, takes a bow, sits down and plays - he usually can't resist making Rock-star type gestures while playing  :D

Dang, that's pretty cool.  How old is he now?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 12, 2012, 03:54:11 pm
My smug story for the day - Carl is getting quite good at playing the piano, and he has a recital on Thursday. He rather enjoys it. He can play many songs with reading the music as he goes, and at least three songs from memory.

Being Carl, he makes every practice into a full concert - he mimes collecting money from the audience (my wife and I), issues us tickets, and gets my wife to act as announcer; then he comes in, takes a bow, sits down and plays - he usually can't resist making Rock-star type gestures while playing  :D

Dang, that's pretty cool.  How old is he now?

He's six.

I can't play a note myself (my parents tried to get me to take piano lessons and I hated it so much I refused to go), so I'm tickled pink that at six he can already do something I can't.  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 12, 2012, 04:13:21 pm
My smug story for the day - Carl is getting quite good at playing the piano, and he has a recital on Thursday. He rather enjoys it. He can play many songs with reading the music as he goes, and at least three songs from memory.

Being Carl, he makes every practice into a full concert - he mimes collecting money from the audience (my wife and I), issues us tickets, and gets my wife to act as announcer; then he comes in, takes a bow, sits down and plays - he usually can't resist making Rock-star type gestures while playing  :D

Dang, that's pretty cool.  How old is he now?

He's six.

I can't play a note myself (my parents tried to get me to take piano lessons and I hated it so much I refused to go), so I'm tickled pink that at six he can already do something I can't.  :D

When did you start with Carl?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on June 12, 2012, 04:36:46 pm
My oldest is 18 today.  That makes me feel pretty old.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 13, 2012, 08:13:51 am
When did you start with Carl?

He's been playing for seven months or so - so when he was just turned six.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 13, 2012, 09:02:27 am
When did you start with Carl?

He's been playing for seven months or so - so when he was just turned six.

Ah.  I'd like tim to play an instrument, potentially piano, but am unsure when to start him.  5 seemed the earliest possible, 6 maybe more realistic.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 15, 2012, 04:08:49 pm
When did you start with Carl?

He's been playing for seven months or so - so when he was just turned six.

Ah.  I'd like tim to play an instrument, potentially piano, but am unsure when to start him.  5 seemed the earliest possible, 6 maybe more realistic.

Dunno if you can access it, but here's a video my mother took of one of the songs at his recital (he's playing a duet with his teacher): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBzPTzp9tkc&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 04:40:30 pm
The twins ran into the neighborhood kid they just can't stand. They opened the hostilities and Cassandra went berserker on him.  :)

My wife had to pull her off him and was was doing that authoritarian full name bullshit. CASSANDRA MARIA HAWKINS, YOU ARE IS SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME.

Me? Shit. Eating. Grin.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on July 03, 2012, 05:05:51 pm
Wait, did you just post your last name here?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on July 03, 2012, 05:06:54 pm
Do you think he gave his real name :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on July 03, 2012, 05:22:52 pm
Do you think he gave his real name :rolleyes:

He's getting on in years.  He could slip up.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 05:37:28 pm
Who knows. Only Allah knows.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on July 03, 2012, 07:07:53 pm
We all know it's John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: dps on July 03, 2012, 07:17:44 pm
He was probably abandoned as a child and raised by foster parents, so even he doesn't know.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 07:18:34 pm
I fell from the stars.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on July 03, 2012, 07:52:40 pm
My oldest is 18 today.  That makes me feel pretty old.

:hug:

As my ex-mother-in-law told me when I complained about my babies growing up: "Wait until your youngest turns 40. Then you'll know what old feels like." :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on July 03, 2012, 07:53:58 pm
The twins ran into the neighborhood kid they just can't stand. They opened the hostilities and Cassandra went berserker on him.  :)

My wife had to pull her off him and was was doing that authoritarian full name bullshit. CASSANDRA MARIA HAWKINS, YOU ARE IS SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME.

Me? Shit. Eating. Grin.

That was always freaking hard! How do you NOT say, "Good job, kid! Well done!"??? I always wanted to sooo badly, but knew I couldn't. Now, when we tell these stories, I get to say it, but when it happened, I had to hold my tongue.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 08:01:42 pm
The twins ran into the neighborhood kid they just can't stand. They opened the hostilities and Cassandra went berserker on him.  :)

My wife had to pull her off him and was was doing that authoritarian full name bullshit. CASSANDRA MARIA HAWKINS, YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME.

Me? Shit. Eating. Grin.

That was always freaking hard! How do you NOT say, "Good job, kid! Well done!"??? I always wanted to sooo badly, but knew I couldn't. Now, when we tell these stories, I get to say it, but when it happened, I had to hold my tongue.

I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on July 03, 2012, 08:47:13 pm
I fell from the stars.

That was the story my mom tried to tell the police.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valdemar on July 04, 2012, 02:58:55 am
My oldest is a pretty decent fighter, he is reigning regional champ in judo for one.

However, I've over time taught him not to start the fights, only to stop them if he gets into them, and his trainer always told them first run, then fight. He does that, but he never, ever backs down from a challenge, which has landed him in some weird situations with older kids a few winters ago when there was a lot of snow  :D

The funny thing is KNOWING he could probably beat most kids in his grade and a good deal of those above it seems to make him content, so he never gets into trouble of that kind, not by avoiding, but rather it seems he oozes some kind of confidence that seems to work as a deterrent.

He does come home once in a while though saying "dad, I really wish I could use some judo on this guy, he is really really annoying." "Has he done anything?" "No he is just really really loud and annoyin" :D :D

V
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 05, 2012, 05:12:47 pm
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/st-louis-mother-urges-toddler-girls-fight-sick-facebook-video-tv-station-alerts-authorities-article-1.1107692

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on July 05, 2012, 08:56:30 pm
I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

Quote
So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on July 05, 2012, 08:57:54 pm
My sister tells me that my nieces cry during those ASPCA and HSUS commercials about abused animals.  Especially the oldest one.

I almost feel bad about my part in bankrolling them.

Almost.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 05, 2012, 09:11:04 pm
I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

Quote
So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

I've been getting those 'daddy, get me out of this' looks from her. I figure I can get time served by Sunday.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on July 05, 2012, 10:40:37 pm
I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

Quote
So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on July 05, 2012, 10:48:24 pm
This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.

My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 06, 2012, 05:33:07 am
This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.

My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.

SWEEP THE LEG
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on July 06, 2012, 05:34:48 am
The 8 year old just started karate a few months ago.  Broke her first board;  had to be 1/16" thick.   :lol:  So cute.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on July 06, 2012, 05:43:41 am
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/st-louis-mother-urges-toddler-girls-fight-sick-facebook-video-tv-station-alerts-authorities-article-1.1107692

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Gee, I wonder...

No, no I don't.  I already knew.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 06, 2012, 05:46:43 am
The 8 year old just started karate a few months ago.  Broke her first board;  had to be 1/16" thick.   :lol:  So cute.

See, Karate would be bad for my kids. Because I would be encouraging head and nut shots.

KICK 'EM IN THE PLUMS! DADDY LOVES YOU! AIM FOR THE EYES!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 06, 2012, 01:13:48 pm
Seedy will be happy to know that I got her out of kid jail. I made her apologize to her mother.

NOT TO THAT KID HOWEVER. HA!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 28, 2012, 11:16:29 am
I have no idea where my kid gets some of his ideas or phrases.  I guess from us, but I don't remember using some of the phrases.

One of Timmy's new phrases is to be "nice and cozy".  Which to him means to be covered in a blanket, probably with the edges tucked in under him.

On the weekend he crawls up with me on the big easy chair, and asks to be "nice and cozy", so I happily tuck the blanket in around his legs.  He then goes, "Daddy, water", and points at his sippy cup full of water on the coffee table 5 feet away.

A little irritated I say "No, you go and get it".

Timmy responds in a sad voice "[But] I'm nice and cozy."
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 05, 2012, 02:28:49 pm
Another "where did he get that from" moment.

Tracy was cleaning the kitchen.  Timmy takes a biscuit cutter, puts it on his head, and says "I'm a princess!".
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 05, 2012, 02:36:52 pm
Another "where did he get that from" moment.

Tracy was cleaning the kitchen.  Timmy takes a biscuit cutter, puts it on his head, and says "I'm a princess!".

 :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 05, 2012, 02:43:02 pm
I have no idea where my kid gets some of his ideas or phrases.  I guess from us, but I don't remember using some of the phrases.

That's always a mystery early on.  Seems like they ignore something you tell them 1000 times, but then latch on to something you say once. 

With Tommy in pre-school these days I just blame any bad habits on his classmates.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 05, 2012, 02:47:25 pm
Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 05, 2012, 02:50:45 pm
My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.

I bought Tommy some Scooby Doo boxing gloves (hilarious product, btw) and have been giving him some informal lessons on technique.  Wife didn't mind the boxing gloves so much, but she gets pissed when I teach him how to punch correctly :huh:

And from the looks of it, I don't believe I'll need to teach Lola anything at all.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 05, 2012, 02:53:03 pm
Quote
Scooby Doo boxing gloves

RAGGY! CUT ME RAGGY!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 05, 2012, 03:03:34 pm
ENJOY! (read the comments too)

http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2012/09/05/utah-mother-caught-potty-training-daughters-at-restaurant-dining-table/

 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 05, 2012, 03:09:36 pm
Potty training is Not Fun.

We actually have Timmy's potty set up right next to the kitchen table.  So there, America.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 05, 2012, 03:11:46 pm
gross.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 05, 2012, 03:42:03 pm
(http://ecomodder.com/forum/member-cfg83-albums-shtuff-04-picture2486-you-gotta-do-what-you-gotta-do.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: ulmont on September 05, 2012, 03:48:57 pm
Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.

The curriculum from Calvert could be much worse, and in Ohio they even have some sort of online partnership with local schools.
http://www.calvertschool.org/
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on September 05, 2012, 03:55:21 pm
Potty training is Not Fun.

We actually have Timmy's potty set up right next to the kitchen table.  So there, America.

Dont come run crying to us when you find turds in your kitchen well into his teens.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 05, 2012, 03:58:03 pm
I'll take my chances.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 05, 2012, 04:58:05 pm
Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.

The curriculum from Calvert could be much worse, and in Ohio they even have some sort of online partnership with local schools.
http://www.calvertschool.org/

Calvert is secular. Looks a bit too rigid for her purposes.

But I'll send the link along.  :)

I may go with my fight club idea and have the twins beat the shit out of the neighborhood kids. MIGHT MAKES RIGHT.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on September 05, 2012, 08:16:31 pm
Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.

So are all homeschooling things designed for Fundamentalist Christians?

Is there a 'make your own Tim Tebow' curriculum?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 05, 2012, 08:24:45 pm
Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.

So are all homeschooling things designed for Fundamentalist Christians?

Is there a 'make your own Tim Tebow' curriculum?

There was a set by an imprint from a major publisher. Saxon books I think. It seemed ok.


Most of it was in cuckoo territory however.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: ulmont on September 05, 2012, 10:34:46 pm
Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.

So are all homeschooling things designed for Fundamentalist Christians?

No.  As noted upthread, Calvert is nonsectarian from K-8, and the University of Nebraska at least used to have a full high-school curriculum available.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HisMajestyBOB on September 06, 2012, 09:19:02 am
ENJOY! (read the comments too)

http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2012/09/05/utah-mother-caught-potty-training-daughters-at-restaurant-dining-table/

 :lol:

At least she had the decency to bring a training toilet.
In China the kids pee and poo wherever they want. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 09:22:29 am
At least she had the decency to bring a training toilet.
In China the kids pee and poo wherever they want. :(

They still do that?  My aunt & uncle went to China in the late 80s and were horrified by that.  They said kids have a fly opening on the back of their pants so they can squat down wherever they are and take a dump.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HisMajestyBOB on September 06, 2012, 10:11:55 am
Yeah. In Shanghai they'll usually (but not always) hold the kid over a trash can or put the kid on the grass. Many little kids, 2 and younger, still wear split open pants.

Fortunately, I've only had a kid piss in my class once.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 06, 2012, 10:18:58 am
Barbarians.  :yuk:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on September 06, 2012, 11:00:25 am
At least she had the decency to bring a training toilet.
In China the kids pee and poo wherever they want. :(

They still do that?  My aunt & uncle went to China in the late 80s and were horrified by that.  They said kids have a fly opening on the back of their pants so they can squat down wherever they are and take a dump.
I recall reading some piece on NYT that extolled the virtues of bottomless children shitting on the floor rather than into a diaper, and that the author planned to have his children do that as well.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on September 06, 2012, 11:32:03 am
I suppose this is as good thread as any to toss in some photos of my niece.

(http://i.imgur.com/mbFJX.jpg)

Frowny baby

(http://i.imgur.com/c32WG.jpg)

Cardinals Baby

(http://i.imgur.com/OkLJs.jpg)

Happy baby!

Ain't she the cutest thing?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 06, 2012, 11:37:08 am
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 11:37:31 am
Cute.  Especially the Cardinals one :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 06, 2012, 11:39:02 am
Raz, as an Uncle, it is your duty to spoil her rotten. Feed the kid candy, ignoring any instructions from the parents.

In fact, blow your nose into any written instructions given to you.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 06, 2012, 12:13:18 pm
That's right.

My Sister in law is retard when it comes to nutrition, only some crazy hyper healthy shit.

When the kids come over, I feed them so much chocolate, chips & candy that they don't sleep for days!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 12:30:20 pm
My Sister in law is retard when it comes to nutrition, only some crazy hyper healthy shit.

My sister in law is sort of the same way, but more selectively and probably less intelligently so.  What's worse is that she also tends to buy only generic-branded food, without any regard to the trade-off in quality.  So if it tastes like crap, it's worth it because she saved ten cents.

She freaked the hell out that we only had white bread in the house when I was going to make my nephew a sandwich.  I was vindicated when my nephew said it was the best bread he ever had.  He calls it "the good bread".  Come to think of it, he calls most things in our food pantry "the good [food type]".  So naturally I always try to feed him and his sister whatever they want so they can go home & tell their mom how great the food is as Uncle Shayne's house.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 06, 2012, 12:34:01 pm
They were over monday afternoon & they ask what I was making for Dinner, Old El Paso Taco, and I ask them what they were going to have? Lentil Cury.

I had to excuse myself.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 12:35:07 pm
They were over monday afternoon & they ask what I was making for Dinner, Old El Paso Taco, and I ask them what they were going to have? Lentil Cury.

I had to excuse myself.

Awesome.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 06, 2012, 12:37:47 pm
They were over monday afternoon & they ask what I was making for Dinner, Old El Paso Taco, and I ask them what they were going to have? Lentil Cury.

I had to excuse myself.

Awesome.

After that I gave them a chocolate bar each. I mean, I'm not a monster.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on September 06, 2012, 12:37:50 pm
My Sister in law is retard when it comes to nutrition, only some crazy hyper healthy shit.

My sister in law is sort of the same way, but more selectively and probably less intelligently so.  What's worse is that she also tends to buy only generic-branded food, without any regard to the trade-off in quality.  So if it tastes like crap, it's worth it because she saved ten cents.

She freaked the hell out that we only had white bread in the house when I was going to make my nephew a sandwich.  I was vindicated when my nephew said it was the best bread he ever had.  He calls it "the good bread".  Come to think of it, he calls most things in our food pantry "the good [food type]".  So naturally I always try to feed him and his sister whatever they want so they can go home & tell their mom how great the food is as Uncle Shayne's house.
:x White bread is an abomination.  What kind of crap does your sister buy if white bread tastes good in comparison?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on September 06, 2012, 12:38:23 pm
Raz, as an Uncle, it is your duty to spoil her rotten. Feed the kid candy, ignoring any instructions from the parents.

In fact, blow your nose into any written instructions given to you.

Sadly, she lives up in Wisconsin.  I do send toys up all the time though.  And Savings Bonds on her birthday.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on September 06, 2012, 12:54:01 pm
Cute niece Raz!  :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 01:06:50 pm
:x White bread is an abomination.

I usually buy whole wheat or multigrain, but the wife prefers white-- the kind she gets is pretty decent.

Quote
What kind of crap does your sister buy if white bread tastes good in comparison?

Store-brand whole wheat bread.  It's pretty terrible.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 06, 2012, 02:37:11 pm
DG going to work:

(http://02varvara.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/leningrad-blockade-e1271301186396.jpg)

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on September 06, 2012, 02:41:03 pm
 :mad: You're worse than all those idiots making endless beet jokes at Tamas's expense.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on September 06, 2012, 02:45:00 pm
:mad: You're worse than all those idiots making endless beet jokes at Tamas's expense.
he is the one making beet jokes :P

Although he's right on in both cases :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 02:47:40 pm
:lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 06, 2012, 02:48:44 pm
:whistle:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 06, 2012, 02:50:05 pm
And speaking of store bought bread, Kroger's store brand has to be among the worst. I don't care if it is 99 cents a loaf, it has a chemical smell to it.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 03:04:04 pm
And speaking of store bought bread, Kroger's store brand has to be among the worst. I don't care if it is 99 cents a loaf, it has a chemical smell to it.



Yeah, that's what she gets.  Their wheat bread always looks like it was underbaked.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 06, 2012, 03:21:36 pm
Hell, most of Kroger's white brands are shit. Literally. Only thing good is their peanut butter with honey. MAKES FOR A FINE PB&J.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2012, 04:01:40 pm
Hell, most of Kroger's white brands are shit. Literally. Only thing good is their peanut butter with honey. MAKES FOR A FINE PB&J.

Their chewy granola bars aren't bad.  Haven't tried their peanut butter w/ honey, though I imagine that's one of those things that is kind of hard to screw up.  I can't think of anything else that is decent. 

At least they did away with that horrible Cost Cutter line of products they had back in the 80s.  IIRC they even had Cost Cutter beer and cigarettes.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 12, 2012, 09:29:48 am
The other day in the bath, I witnessed a retelling of the classic confrontation of brontosaurus versus crab, complete with much splashing, growling, and snapping.  Alas it ended much as you'd expect, by the brontosaurus turning into a rocket ship and blasting off into the sky.



Also...



Like lots of parents, when little Timmy hurts himself we will kiss him where it hurts.  Well yesterday he tells me "my peepee hurts", and then he asks me to kiss his peepee.  :o
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 12, 2012, 09:45:03 am
:o
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on September 12, 2012, 10:21:43 am
Like lots of parents, when little Timmy hurts himself we will kiss him where it hurts.  Well yesterday he tells me "my peepee hurts", and then he asks me to kiss his peepee.  :o
:yucky:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 12, 2012, 10:24:00 am
I couldn't think of a graceful response, so I just said "no".  He cried for a second, but as is the way of two year olds, he went on to play with something else moments after.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 12, 2012, 07:22:33 pm
You new Daddies have so much fun in front of you, man.

So my sister shows up at the "first week" PTA meeting last night for the youngest one's class, starting first grade.

My sister is then approached by concerned parents, wanting to know what was wrong with McKinley, as apparently she had gone to the nurse's office on the first day of school, complaining about an earache.  Was checked out, and sent back to class;  now my sister knew this already. 

What she didn't know was that McKinley returned to class and told all her friends that she is going to have to see a doctor for her earache, at which time:
1) her throat will have to be "ripped open with knives",
2) her lungs will have to be "pulled out and emptied", and
3) her heart will have to "be fixed", since "it is sick".

This one's so going to steal a car when she's 14.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 12, 2012, 07:25:21 pm
 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on September 12, 2012, 07:26:06 pm
:lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 13, 2012, 09:28:52 am
Last night little Timmy announced "I'm going to work".  So he found a little plastic box with a handle and placed a bunch of blocks in it.  He then went up to the front door and put on mommy's shoes.  He then said loudly "[my first name] where are my keys?"  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 13, 2012, 09:31:21 am
You new Daddies have so much fun in front of you, man.

So my sister shows up at the "first week" PTA meeting last night for the youngest one's class, starting first grade.

My sister is then approached by concerned parents, wanting to know what was wrong with McKinley, as apparently she had gone to the nurse's office on the first day of school, complaining about an earache.  Was checked out, and sent back to class;  now my sister knew this already. 

What she didn't know was that McKinley returned to class and told all her friends that she is going to have to see a doctor for her earache, at which time:
1) her throat will have to be "ripped open with knives",
2) her lungs will have to be "pulled out and emptied", and
3) her heart will have to "be fixed", since "it is sick".

This one's so going to steal a car when she's 14.

Your influence it shows already, eh.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 13, 2012, 09:34:01 am
Last night little Timmy announced "I'm going to work".  So he found a little plastic box with a handle and placed a bunch of blocks in it.  He then went up to the front door and put on mommy's shoes.  He then said loudly "[my first name] where are my keys?"  :lol:

Yes, they have the uncanny habit of repeating what they see and hear over and over.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 13, 2012, 09:35:56 am
Last night little Timmy announced "I'm going to work".  So he found a little plastic box with a handle and placed a bunch of blocks in it.  He then went up to the front door and put on mommy's shoes.  He then said loudly "[my first name] where are my keys?"  :lol:

Awesome.  Lola likes to grab anything that remotely looks like a purse and say "bye" near the front door, even though she can't open it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 13, 2012, 09:36:30 am
My Kid has picked up of throwing what lays on the floor in the trash. A great habit when it's actual trash, like her diapers, not has fun when it's mom's keys or her toys.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 13, 2012, 01:15:52 pm
The kids objected to the grilled cheese I made for lunch. MOMMY DOESN'T BURN IT.

I almost had a prison riot happen in my kitchen. THANK YOU PIZZA HUT BIG BOX DEAL.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 13, 2012, 01:18:06 pm
I drew babysitting duty with the Vampire Pre-Tween and her little Kill Bill sidekick tomorrow night.  I will post the AAR, because I'm sure it'll be hilarious.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on September 13, 2012, 03:07:19 pm
Last night little Timmy announced "I'm going to work".  So he found a little plastic box with a handle and placed a bunch of blocks in it.  He then went up to the front door and put on mommy's shoes.  He then said loudly "[my first name] where are my keys?"  :lol:

 :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on September 13, 2012, 04:06:27 pm
My son loves two things: trains and balls.  And he totally flips whenever he sees sports on TV.  But because he was corrected once when American football was on that it was 'football' and not 'ball' he now screams 'FOO-BALL!!!' whenever he sees sports on TV.  I was watching the US play Jamaica in soccer and he screamed 'FOO-BALL!!' which I guess is sorta correct if we were in England.  But he insisted the Orioles and Rays were playing 'FOO-BALL' as well.  Everytime I said 'Baseball' he would shake his head and insist it was 'Foo-ball'.

As for trains we cannot even read a book about trains without him getting frustrated he cannot somehow pull the train out of the book and play with it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 13, 2012, 04:33:15 pm
My son loves two things: trains and balls.  And he totally flips whenever he sees sports on TV.  But because he was corrected once when American football was on that it was 'football' and not 'ball' he now screams 'FOO-BALL!!!' whenever he sees sports on TV.  I was watching the US play Jamaica in soccer and he screamed 'FOO-BALL!!' which I guess is sorta correct if we were in England.  But he insisted the Orioles and Rays were playing 'FOO-BALL' as well.  Everytime I said 'Baseball' he would shake his head and insist it was 'Foo-ball'.

As for trains we cannot even read a book about trains without him getting frustrated he cannot somehow pull the train out of the book and play with it.

Last winter we, naturally, watched a lot of Jets hockey.  Somehow in his mind he came up with the words "Copyco", some kind of bizarre mixture of "hockey" and "Go Jets Go" I think.  But this word Copyco then became used interchangeable for A: The Winnipeg Jets and their logo, B: hockey, or sometimes C: any team sport.

I wish he'd be excited for sports on TV, but come to think of it if he's like his old man he won't care much until his 20s.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 13, 2012, 04:36:14 pm
It really helps if the team has a colorful mascot. I've had no problem getting the twins to watch Ohio State. They may be watching to see Brutus do silly stuff however.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 17, 2012, 07:00:29 pm
So the first grader had her very first homework assignment.

Since she wanted to play her drums afterwards, she goes into the dining room to knock out her math homework. 

After about 30 minutes or so, my sister's wondering what the hell's taking so long, it can't be that difficult, it's only one page in the problem book.

Turns out she had plowed straight through page 71.  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 17, 2012, 07:41:05 pm
 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on September 21, 2012, 03:58:13 pm
My oldest daughter is moved into the dorm and I am leaving for the 5 hour drive home.

Alone. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 21, 2012, 04:15:55 pm
My oldest daughter is moved into the dorm and I am leaving for the 5 hour drive home.

Alone. :(

:console:

I'm a heartless bitch. When my son moved out, I helped him pack the boxes. Of course, he only moved a mile away, and he still comes over and eat my food like he lives with me.  <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on September 27, 2012, 02:16:14 pm
Heh, it struck me now that summer is over that my kid had the perfect six-year-old's summer vacation.

Particularly when we went up to the cottage. We took his little cousin with him, and the two of them, essentially, went feral.  ;) They ran around playing warriors all day (his grandfather was there to make them wooden swords and guns); the two of them had their own raft to pole about (supervised!); we went exploring - I took them to a rather bizzare muskeg I know about nearby, which has all sorts of carnivorous plants (sundew, pitcher plants and bladderworts) on or about big floating islands - we took a canoe in and paddled about. Of course there were hot dog roasts and the like. And he learned to recognize posionous mushrooms. He got pretty good at spotting Amanita Muscaria and the "Death Angel".  ;)

Pretty sweet deal. Makes me wish I was six again. Well that, and the whole having half your life gone thing. :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 27, 2012, 02:46:16 pm
My baby girl's interim report card came in the mail. She is getting five A+s and 2 B+s. A quick note to her teachers to find out if she's missing work corrected one of those B+s into an A. (No response back on the other.) The one remaining B+ is in French. She's doing great in Algebra, Honors Lit, Science, and the rest of her classes. So proud of her!

My daughter, the Good Child. :wub:

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PRC on September 27, 2012, 03:10:18 pm
Heh, it struck me now that summer is over that my kid had the perfect six-year-old's summer vacation.

Particularly when we went up to the cottage. We took his little cousin with him, and the two of them, essentially, went feral.  ;) They ran around playing warriors all day (his grandfather was there to make them wooden swords and guns); the two of them had their own raft to pole about (supervised!); we went exploring - I took them to a rather bizzare muskeg I know about nearby, which has all sorts of carnivorous plants (sundew, pitcher plants and bladderworts) on or about big floating islands - we took a canoe in and paddled about. Of course there were hot dog roasts and the like. And he learned to recognize posionous mushrooms. He got pretty good at spotting Amanita Muscaria and the "Death Angel".  ;)

Pretty sweet deal. Makes me wish I was six again. Well that, and the whole having half your life gone thing. :D

This is awesome, these are the types of summer adventures I had as a young kid and I really miss those days.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on September 27, 2012, 03:30:03 pm
My older boy has a decision to make.  The rowing season is starting up but on a dare he tried out for a regional all star basketball team - and made it.  He cant do both.   He is also helping coach his younger brother's basketball team.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on September 30, 2012, 10:42:53 am
Carl wrote his grandmother a story:

Quote
The Greedy King and the Dragon's Gold

One day there was a castle. The king loved gold. He heard there was a dragon that was keeping the gold. He used his knights to attack the dragon but he found out there was more than one. It was very difficult to defeat the dragons because they used claws and fire breath. The fire breath burned out many knights. The knights that survived the fire breath were defeated by the claws!

The king didn't give up. He used more knights. But not only sword knights but bow and arrow knights and mace knights. Even war club knights. But even that could not defeat the dragons. A few dragons were killed but not all of them. 

He then included lance knights on horses. A few dragons were killed but at least a thousand knights were killed. Finally the king was angry. He used catapults and cannons. Finally the dragons were killed. The king was very happy. Now he got the gold.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on September 30, 2012, 11:41:49 am
:)  How old is Carl?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on September 30, 2012, 01:35:55 pm
:)  How old is Carl?

He's six - he will be seven in December.

His main interests so far appear to be knights and ninjas.  :lol:

I asked him if the king in the story was a good guy or a bad guy. He said, "he's a king. Wanting gold is what kings do".
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 30, 2012, 02:56:34 pm
Teach him the D&D alignment system. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on September 30, 2012, 03:48:24 pm
Christ, he's already nerd.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on September 30, 2012, 08:36:31 pm
Christ, he's already nerd.

On the other hand, he's also very into sports. He's playing real hockey now. Which is more than I ever did.  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 01, 2012, 12:32:19 pm
So Timmy has a very set routine for saying goodbye and saying goodnight.  We give him a hug, a kiss (usually on the lips, sometimes on the forehead), and a high five.

We were at a big family gathering all day yesterday.  When it was time to start getting ready to leave, we tell Timmy to say goodbye (because of course all the aunties love getting hugs and kisses from toddlers).  Except he turns away from one Great Auntie, and turns to a 3-4 year old second cousin he's been playing with during the day.  He goes to him and gives him a hug - cousin looks at him funny.  He goes to give him a high five - the two boys kind of flail their arms around, but eventually manage to connect.

Then Timmy wants to give him a kiss.  Little cousin wants nothing to do with a kiss, and pulls away.  It degenerates into the Timmy chasing his little cousin around a sofa several times going "Kiss! Kiss!". :lol:


Sooner or later we'll have to teach him some restrictions on PDAs, but at 2 it's just cute.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 01, 2012, 12:48:12 pm
I dread the twins playing soccer (church league thing). First, 4 and 5 year olds don't know how to play. Blue shirted mob attacks yellow shirt mob. Second, My kids treat fouls like personal insults that must be avenged. Third, the coach (a nice guy but a doofus) insists on splitting them up on the field. Play starts, they both leave their "position" and merge into this killing machine within the blue mob. Fourth, Katerina wants to pick the ball up and run over people.

PRAY FOR ME.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 01, 2012, 12:51:12 pm
Shit, when my littlest niece started playing soccer at 4, she'd trail off from the action, picking dandelions and taking them to my mother on the sideline in the middle of the game.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 01, 2012, 12:52:23 pm
Shit, when my littlest niece started playing soccer at 4, she'd trail off from the action, picking dandelions and taking them to my mother on the sideline in the middle of the game.

My parents tell me that when I was in the field in t-ball I'd sit down and start picking at the dandelions, and not be bothered if a ball rolled by me.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 01, 2012, 12:58:09 pm
Shit, when my littlest niece started playing soccer at 4, she'd trail off from the action, picking dandelions and taking them to my mother on the sideline in the middle of the game.

That stuff happens in the 2nd half.  :lol: They get tired of it all and just wander around. Or the DADDY IS GETTING US ICE CREAM AFTER THE GAME trigger hits and they just start killing time. Or if a cat comes near the field, kitty must be petted.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 01, 2012, 08:42:15 pm
Shit, when my littlest niece started playing soccer at 4, she'd trail off from the action, picking dandelions and taking them to my mother on the sideline in the middle of the game.

My parents tell me that when I was in the field in t-ball I'd sit down and start picking at the dandelions, and not be bothered if a ball rolled by me.

I couldn't even hit the ball when it was on the tee. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on October 01, 2012, 09:42:49 pm
I was pretty good at t-ball.  Things went downhill once the other kids starting throwing the ball at me.  Go up there with a bat?  Can I take the catcher's gear instead?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 01, 2012, 10:23:29 pm
My mother pulled me out of Little League because I got a D in Math.  Who knows, I may have developed a wicked curveball with a backdoor slider as a lefty.  We'll never know BECAUSE FRACTIONS WERE MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on October 01, 2012, 10:29:08 pm
I was interested in joining the local football club when I was a kid, but my parents said it was too expensive, what with membership fees and having to buy the equipment. We were: poor. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on October 02, 2012, 01:42:29 am
So Timmy has a very set routine for saying goodbye and saying goodnight.  We give him a hug, a kiss (usually on the lips, sometimes on the forehead), and a high five.

We were at a big family gathering all day yesterday.  When it was time to start getting ready to leave, we tell Timmy to say goodbye (because of course all the aunties love getting hugs and kisses from toddlers).  Except he turns away from one Great Auntie, and turns to a 3-4 year old second cousin he's been playing with during the day.  He goes to him and gives him a hug - cousin looks at him funny.  He goes to give him a high five - the two boys kind of flail their arms around, but eventually manage to connect.

Then Timmy wants to give him a kiss.  Little cousin wants nothing to do with a kiss, and pulls away.  It degenerates into the Timmy chasing his little cousin around a sofa several times going "Kiss! Kiss!". :lol:


Sooner or later we'll have to teach him some restrictions on PDAs, but at 2 it's just cute.

Another "where did he get that from" moment.

Tracy was cleaning the kitchen.  Timmy takes a biscuit cutter, puts it on his head, and says "I'm a princess!".

Do you see me saying anything? No. Nothing. Zitch. Nada.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 05, 2012, 09:16:50 am
Cassandra decided this morning to talk about the devil. As in asking me why Jesus doesn't just beat the devil up.

I had no real answer for that.  I said ask the Sunday school teacher. :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 05, 2012, 09:18:51 am
Because he preaches love, no? I'm not sure, I'm the atheist here.

Also, I love your kids penchant for violence has the solution to any and all problems.

America, the beautiful.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on October 05, 2012, 09:21:23 am
Because he preaches love, no? I'm not sure, I'm the atheist here.

Also, I love your kids penchant for violence has the solution to any and all problems.

America, the beautiful.

Your kid is going to go strike everytime she has a problem isn't she?  'Gret Fox: unfair on chores'
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 05, 2012, 09:22:54 am
It's a hard world out there. Be prepared.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 05, 2012, 09:35:47 am
Because he preaches love, no? I'm not sure, I'm the atheist here.

Also, I love your kids penchant for violence has the solution to any and all problems.

America, the beautiful.

Your kid is going to go strike everytime she has a problem isn't she?  'Gret Fox: unfair on chores'

She already does, Lays on the floor. She hasn't figured the flopping yet.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 12, 2012, 05:58:49 pm
Soccer game, dutiful baptists v. Methodist devil worshipers. Katerina scores a goal and proceeds to do a John Starks like chest thumping. I think I need to cut out letting them watch old sports with me.

I loved it however.  :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PRC on October 20, 2012, 01:58:16 am
I wanted to chat about pets and kids...

My son is now close to four months old and we have a couple of cats, an unrelated male and female who have been together since they were kittens.  The Lady of the House refuses to let the cats outside "because they will die". 

I grew up in a household that always had dogs and cats... and both of 'em were always welcome inside but the animals always seemed to live in the "now of outside" where being outside meant running in circles, chasing squirrels, birds, mice and other enemies and basically outside is where the action was, except when it was cold.

My obvious concern is the cats jumping in the crib while our boy is sleeping and in their protective wisdom deciding to lay across his face to keep warm and go to sleep.  That hasn't really been an issue but our male cat does love to sleep in the crib. 

A cool thing is that when our boy cries out in distress both of our cats, wherever they are in the house, come running and show real protective instinct.  They get close to him if he is on the floor.  They flash around when he cries, always trying to get a look at what the issue is.  If i'm standing and holding our boy our female cat will literally jump on my shoulders to get close and the male will stand on his hind legs and reach up me for a hug with his front legs. 

That protectiveness from our pets has been amazing to observe.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on October 20, 2012, 02:08:11 am
Soccer game, dutiful baptists v. Methodist devil worshipers. Katerina scores a goal and proceeds to do a John Starks like chest thumping. I think I need to cut out letting them watch old sports with me.

I loved it however.  :cool:

May start to look weird when she hits puberty.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Scipio on October 20, 2012, 08:36:11 am
You new Daddies have so much fun in front of you, man.

So my sister shows up at the "first week" PTA meeting last night for the youngest one's class, starting first grade.

My sister is then approached by concerned parents, wanting to know what was wrong with McKinley, as apparently she had gone to the nurse's office on the first day of school, complaining about an earache.  Was checked out, and sent back to class;  now my sister knew this already. 

What she didn't know was that McKinley returned to class and told all her friends that she is going to have to see a doctor for her earache, at which time:
1) her throat will have to be "ripped open with knives",
2) her lungs will have to be "pulled out and emptied", and
3) her heart will have to "be fixed", since "it is sick".

This one's so going to steal a car when she's 14.
That's what happens when you name your child after an Ohioan who was assassinated to make way for the most badass president since Washington.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 21, 2012, 01:36:32 am
My obvious concern is the cats jumping in the crib while our boy is sleeping and in their protective wisdom deciding to lay across his face to keep warm and go to sleep.  That hasn't really been an issue but our male cat does love to sleep in the crib. 

Cats should not be allowed in the crib.  We close the door to baby's room when he's sleeping, in part to keep out the cat.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 21, 2012, 03:59:00 pm
I think I'm going to have to pull the kids from soccer. It isn't the NFL, ponytail division.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on October 21, 2012, 09:33:05 pm
I think I'm going to have to pull the kids from soccer. It isn't the NFL, ponytail division.

You make Andy Carroll cry.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 21, 2012, 09:35:03 pm
I think I'm going to have to pull the kids from soccer. It isn't the NFL, ponytail division.

You make Andy Carroll cry.

They would kick Andy's ass. Especially thier friend Brooke aka the rabid wolverine.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 21, 2012, 11:19:56 pm
We're looking into music lessons for Timmy.

Hockey can wait till he's 5.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on October 22, 2012, 12:55:03 am
My Aunt (Dad;s sister) bought me a drum set when I was 5-6 years old.  My parents were not pleased and saved it in the attic for about 10 years until my Aunt had her first kid and then they gave it back.

It was pretty sweet, the bass drum had a picture of Mickey Mouse.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 01:30:09 am
We're looking into music lessons for Timmy.

Hockey can wait till he's 5.

 :huh:

Don't stop at that. I'm pretty sure he will have at least one or two more hours left a day for other extracurricular activities you can make him join that he currently spends on this unproductive and useless activity other people call childhood.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 22, 2012, 09:14:59 am
We're looking into music lessons for Timmy.

Hockey can wait till he's 5.

 :huh:

Don't stop at that. I'm pretty sure he will have at least one or two more hours left a day for other extracurricular activities you can make him join that he currently spends on this unproductive and useless activity other people call childhood.

:rolleyes:

At the age of two, he currently has zero organized activities.  I'm pretty sure he can handle music lessons and hockey while still having a full childhood.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 22, 2012, 09:18:02 am
Polack childhood:

Hunt the Jew
Dig for potatoes!
Screwing in lighbulbs
Black bread
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 09:21:28 am
We're looking into music lessons for Timmy.

Hockey can wait till he's 5.

 :huh:

Don't stop at that. I'm pretty sure he will have at least one or two more hours left a day for other extracurricular activities you can make him join that he currently spends on this unproductive and useless activity other people call childhood.

:rolleyes:

At the age of two, he currently has zero organized activities.  I'm pretty sure he can handle music lessons and hockey while still having a full childhood.

At the age of two, he has no business attending music classes. This is retarded and a sure way to make him hate music.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 22, 2012, 09:22:07 am
Polack childhood:

Hunt the Jew
Dig for potatoes!
Screwing in lighbulbs
Black bread


:lol:

And might I add to the list:  "Learn Russian"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 22, 2012, 09:22:48 am
Polack childhood:

Hunt the Jew
Dig for potatoes!
Screwing in lighbulbs
Black bread


:lol:

And might I add to the list:  "Learn Russian"

And German.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 22, 2012, 09:26:35 am
At the age of two, he has no business attending music classes. This is retarded and a sure way to make him hate music.

Glad to know you're an expert on raising children.  Whatever would I do without you to tell me what to do martinus?   :lol:

Depending on when he might start music lessons for kids his age are very much targeted on simply enjoying and exploring music, and aren't about sitting down to practice scales or any such formality.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 22, 2012, 09:29:38 am
At the age of two, he has no business attending music classes. This is retarded and a sure way to make him hate music.
:yes: No matter how smart Timmy is for his age, he's at his age.  My parents pushed piano lessons on me, so that I could play piano just like my sister, and this didn't work out well for anyone.  Music lessons are hard work, and you have to be able to appreciate what you're doing.  At least it taught me the value of saying "no" to my parents, which they may or may not have appreciated.  :hmm:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on October 22, 2012, 09:46:14 am
At the age of two, he has no business attending music classes. This is retarded and a sure way to make him hate music.
:yes: No matter how smart Timmy is for his age, he's at his age.  My parents pushed piano lessons on me, so that I could play piano just like my sister, and this didn't work out well for anyone.  Music lessons are hard work, and you have to be able to appreciate what you're doing.  At least it taught me the value of saying "no" to my parents, which they may or may not have appreciated.  :hmm:

You guys have no clue what toddler music class is like.  :lol:

As BB has said, it ain't sitting at a piano bench learning scales (I hated that too, BTW).

Carl is doing that stuff now, and he's pretty good at it, but when he was a tot he went to "music class" for tots - and it was all about playing and singing. He enjoyed it, a lot. All the kids did.

It's like letting kids loose in a playroom with plastercene, construction paper and glitter glue and calling it "art class". They are not busy learning perspective and how to shade a sphere!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 22, 2012, 09:49:17 am
I don't really care if he learns a damn thing.

He just seems to really enjoy music and singing, so I figure lets try and expose him to something beyond my tone-deaf attempts at song.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 22, 2012, 09:57:04 am
It's nice to see that the Canadian crowd has the wit not to listen to Eastern Europeans.  It occurs to me Barrister is descended from Eastern Europeans and Malthus probably is, so maybe they are just further down the evolutionary track.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 22, 2012, 10:00:49 am
They are descendents of the pre-communists immigrants, so they are not criminals.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 22, 2012, 10:06:40 am
I just play alice in chains real loud in the car. 4 year olds singing along to rooster? Priceless.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 22, 2012, 10:29:50 am
You guys have no clue what toddler music class is like.  :lol:

As BB has said, it ain't sitting at a piano bench learning scales (I hated that too, BTW).

Carl is doing that stuff now, and he's pretty good at it, but when he was a tot he went to "music class" for tots - and it was all about playing and singing. He enjoyed it, a lot. All the kids did.

It's like letting kids loose in a playroom with plastercene, construction paper and glitter glue and calling it "art class". They are not busy learning perspective and how to shade a sphere!
Ok, I stand corrected.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 10:31:47 am
It's nice to see that the Canadian crowd has the wit not to listen to Eastern Europeans.  It occurs to me Barrister is descended from Eastern Europeans and Malthus probably is, so maybe they are just further down the evolutionary track.

I think Barrister has a Polish-Ukrainian wife and Malthus a Ukrainian wife, so your argument sucks.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 10:32:20 am
You guys have no clue what toddler music class is like.  :lol:

As BB has said, it ain't sitting at a piano bench learning scales (I hated that too, BTW).

Carl is doing that stuff now, and he's pretty good at it, but when he was a tot he went to "music class" for tots - and it was all about playing and singing. He enjoyed it, a lot. All the kids did.

It's like letting kids loose in a playroom with plastercene, construction paper and glitter glue and calling it "art class". They are not busy learning perspective and how to shade a sphere!
Ok, I stand corrected.

Ok but then don't call it "music class".  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 22, 2012, 10:32:52 am
Just think of under age 6 activities like herding cats.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on October 22, 2012, 10:35:41 am
Just think of under age 6 activities like herding cats.

I know there are insane helicopter parents out there who have their 6 year old kids signed up for tons of extracurricular activities, so much that the poor kids have no time to actually enjoy being kids. So when someone talks about signing their 2 year old for a "music class" I have a reason to suspect the worst.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: garbon on October 22, 2012, 10:39:18 am
Just think of under age 6 activities like herding cats.

I know there are insane helicopter parents out there who have their 6 year old kids signed up for tons of extracurricular activities, so much that the poor kids have no time to actually enjoy being kids. So when someone talks about signing their 2 year old for a "music class" I have a reason to suspect the worst.  :P

Because if they are posting on Languish, they must be insane?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on October 22, 2012, 10:40:33 am
Because if they are posting on Languish, they must be insane?

As assumptions go, that's not a bad one ...  :hmm:


 ;)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 22, 2012, 10:47:32 am
Just think of under age 6 activities like herding cats.

I know there are insane helicopter parents out there who have their 6 year old kids signed up for tons of extracurricular activities, so much that the poor kids have no time to actually enjoy being kids. So when someone talks about signing their 2 year old for a "music class" I have a reason to suspect the worst.  :P

Most of us are not Chinese.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 22, 2012, 11:30:10 am
It's nice to see that the Canadian crowd has the wit not to listen to Eastern Europeans.  It occurs to me Barrister is descended from Eastern Europeans and Malthus probably is, so maybe they are just further down the evolutionary track.

I think Barrister has a Polish-Ukrainian wife and Malthus a Ukrainian wife, so your argument sucks.

I fail to see why.  They aren't posting, and as long as their children is born on this side of the Atlantic they do fine.  Malthus and Barrister are fulling formed Homo Sapiens, while Dguller who lives in the US and is a citizen is like Homo Erectus, striving to better himself making complex tools and such.  If he were to convince some woman to mate with him either by hook or by crook, the result would be a Homo Sapiens.  You on the other hand are like some kind of primeval lungfish wallowing in the mud.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 22, 2012, 12:00:47 pm
It's nice to see that the Canadian crowd has the wit not to listen to Eastern Europeans.  It occurs to me Barrister is descended from Eastern Europeans and Malthus probably is, so maybe they are just further down the evolutionary track.

I think Barrister has a Polish-Ukrainian wife and Malthus a Ukrainian wife, so your argument sucks.

I fail to see why.  They aren't posting, and as long as their children is born on this side of the Atlantic they do fine.  Malthus and Barrister are fulling formed Homo Sapiens, while Dguller who lives in the US and is a citizen is like Homo Erectus, striving to better himself making complex tools and such.  If he were to convince some woman to mate with him either by hook or by crook, the result would be a Homo Sapiens.  You on the other hand are like some kind of primeval lungfish wallowing in the mud.

Neil does this schtick much better than you do. :console:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 22, 2012, 04:36:03 pm
 :( :yes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 22, 2012, 05:08:28 pm
I like calling Marty a lungfish.  It's something I enjoy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 22, 2012, 06:52:08 pm
:( :yes:

Under the Ed anger system

Native born Americans are Spartan Equals
Beeb and Malt are Perodci
You, as a non native are helots.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 25, 2012, 11:26:19 am
My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house. :)


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 28, 2012, 12:39:18 pm
My kids got Sunday school homework. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PDH on October 28, 2012, 04:07:03 pm
My kids got Sunday school homework. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

"Assignment One:  Draw a picture of God.  Make it anatomically correct."
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 28, 2012, 04:36:42 pm
My kids got Sunday school homework. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

"Assignment One:  Draw a picture of God.  Make it anatomically correct."

I really don't want to have a wiener discussion with the twins. I don't need to hear them with their salty sailor talk.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 28, 2012, 04:39:25 pm
Anyways, the assignment was to get your parents to tell you the meaning of your names and tell the rest of the class next Sunday. GIVE ME HOMEWORK AND THEY GET THE CREDIT?

Good thing I didn't go to church (NFL Exception invoked).
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on October 28, 2012, 04:44:12 pm
My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house. :)


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.

My oldest was a huge fan of construction equipment when he was 2-4 years old. One time we were driving from Suffolk to northern England and came across an enormous road widening project (somewhere near Cambridge)...................14 miles of single lane traffic and vast machines, grading equipment etc etc

What would have counted as a bore under most circumstances turned into a highlight of the holiday  :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 21, 2012, 02:14:41 pm
I attempted to use the twins as diversion (go bug your mother for a bit) so I could raid the fridge and get some of the Thanksgiving Banana Pudding. Sadly, I was stabbed in the back when Katerina yelled that "Daddy is stealing the pudding". I was then ejected from the kitchen.

Katerina is out of the will. Cassandra is Heir Primus now.

A commando raid is scheduled for midnight.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 07, 2012, 09:31:22 am
Andrew has reached what I'm calling the "reverse turtle" stage of development - he can roll from his back onto his tummy, but he's then trapped because he can't roll back onto his back.

I had to get up at 6am when he was crying to turn him over, give him his soother, when he promptly went back to sleep.   :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on December 07, 2012, 09:41:38 am
Enjoy it.  Gets a lot more "fun" when you have two running all over the place, feeding off each other's energy. 

How old is he now?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 07, 2012, 11:51:39 am
Enjoy it.  Gets a lot more "fun" when you have two running all over the place, feeding off each other's energy. 

How old is he now?

Five months.

I am looking forward to when the two can play with each other.  You can tell Timmy would love for someone to run around with, and you can that Andrew would love to be into whatever his big brother is doing.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on December 07, 2012, 12:12:20 pm
You think that now, BB, but Carter and Jak's idea of "playing together" involved trying to cut off appendages. Be very careful what you wish for, that's all I'm saying.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 07, 2012, 12:14:47 pm
You think that now, BB, but Carter and Jak's idea of "playing together" involved trying to cut off appendages. Be very careful what you wish for, that's all I'm saying.

We'll see.

I meanI have no doubt there'll be a lot of roughhousing, but so far TImmy has been very caring about "baby".  He gives his little brother hugs and kisses, and when he wants me to come play with him he always says "baby can come".
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on December 07, 2012, 12:22:11 pm
You think that now, BB, but Carter and Jak's idea of "playing together" involved trying to cut off appendages. Be very careful what you wish for, that's all I'm saying.

They are still alive.  Mission accomplished!

I only hope I am as skilled.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on December 07, 2012, 12:53:43 pm
but so far TImmy has been very caring about "baby".  He gives his little brother hugs and kisses, and when he wants me to come play with him he always says "baby can come".

Yep, that's how it is at that stage.  Like I said, enjoy it :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on December 10, 2012, 09:34:15 am
but so far TImmy has been very caring about "baby".  He gives his little brother hugs and kisses, and when he wants me to come play with him he always says "baby can come".

Yep, that's how it is at that stage.  Like I said, enjoy it :P

yep

but it gets better after they pass through the mortal combat stage of brotherhood.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on December 11, 2012, 08:46:56 am
Behold the required annual Santa picture...and the very drooled on sleeve of my four month old son.  Yeah Santa wears cowboy boots when he visits Texas.

(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l58/Valmy77/BoyswithSanta.jpg)

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on December 11, 2012, 09:11:41 am
Your oldest is looking at boobs isn't he?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on December 11, 2012, 09:18:54 am
Your oldest is looking at boobs isn't he?

Yes and I am so proud of him :cry:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 02:23:40 pm
Because I need to prove my boys and cuter than Valmy's:  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on December 17, 2012, 02:24:53 pm
Sorry don't see it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on December 17, 2012, 02:25:08 pm
Cute!  I love how everyone else's kids are more cooperative than mine.  Tommy outright refused to sit on Santa's lap this year and Lola cried :mellow:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 02:25:44 pm
My wife was apparently just shocked.  Christmas last year, at 18 months, Tim wanted NOTHING to do with Santa.  But this year we excitedly waited in line, walked up to Santa, happily got in his lap, and had no problem flashing a big smile for the camera. :)

Andrew of course has a fairly stunned look, but I'm told he had to be woken up out of his car seat for the picture.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on December 17, 2012, 02:27:51 pm
Cute!  I love how everyone else's kids are more cooperative than mine.  Tommy outright refused to sit on Santa's lap this year and Lola cried :mellow:

What you get for miscegenation. ^_^
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on December 17, 2012, 02:28:26 pm
Because I need to prove my boys and cuter than Valmy's:  :P

The bald one on the left looks like he's up to something.  Plotting.  Probably lunch.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on December 17, 2012, 02:49:38 pm
Here's Lola.  Yeah, Santa always has that "WTF" look on his face when he has to deal with my kids :mellow:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on December 17, 2012, 02:53:02 pm
Here's Lola.  Yeah, Santa always has that "WTF" look on his face when he has to deal with my kids :mellow:

 :lol: She looks like she's got a pretty good howl going.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on December 17, 2012, 02:56:47 pm
Adorable pics, guys. :wub:

I really think that there's something seriously wrong with me, but I really, really hated the whole Santa Visit thing. I did it only so long as I absolutely had to, then stopped. It was nothing more than a lesson in annoyance, and the kids never really seemed to care at all.

Apparently, Lola agrees with me. :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 03:06:56 pm
Adorable pics, guys. :wub:

I really think that there's something seriously wrong with me, but I really, really hated the whole Santa Visit thing. I did it only so long as I absolutely had to, then stopped. It was nothing more than a lesson in annoyance, and the kids never really seemed to care at all.

Apparently, Lola agrees with me. :lol:

Timmy seemed excited to go visit Santa. :)

Apparently he asked Santa for "presents". :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on December 17, 2012, 03:28:48 pm
David asked for 'choo-choo'.

Henry drooled.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 03:35:35 pm
Because I need to prove my boys and cuter than Valmy's:  :P

The bald one on the left looks like he's up to something.  Plotting.  Probably lunch.

I don't know how much "plotting" he can do since he started getting mobile in the last few days, but only in reverse.  I had to rescue him from underneath the Christmas tree a couple of times over the weekend.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on December 17, 2012, 03:40:30 pm
Because I need to prove my boys and cuter than Valmy's:  :P

The bald one on the left looks like he's up to something.  Plotting.  Probably lunch.

I don't know how much "plotting" he can do since he started getting mobile in the last few days, but only in reverse.  I had to rescue him from underneath the Christmas tree a couple of times over the weekend.

He wouldnt be very good at plotting if you were on to him now would he
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on December 17, 2012, 05:37:13 pm
My wife was apparently just shocked.  Christmas last year, at 18 months, Tim wanted NOTHING to do with Santa.  But this year we excitedly waited in line, walked up to Santa, happily got in his lap, and had no problem flashing a big smile for the camera. :)

Andrew of course has a fairly stunned look, but I'm told he had to be woken up out of his car seat for the picture.

18 months ago didn't Santa live to the South of him?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on December 17, 2012, 09:20:28 pm
No Santa picture for me this year. Ariel was having of sitting on some old dude's lap. She really likes all the decorations tho.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 29, 2012, 10:31:02 am
Timmy says "daddy, I need to go potty".

He then races off to the bathroom.

I follow, but Timmy is hiding behind the door.  As I approach, he calls our "where's Tim?"  When I enter the bathroom he jumps out and goes "boo!", and I pretend to be surprised.  This is an old game with us.

But Tim then says "Don't worry Daddy, I'm not a monster.  I'm Timothy!" and gives me a big hug.  :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on December 29, 2012, 11:05:34 am
That's so fucking adorable.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 23, 2013, 09:25:15 am
So I'm sitting watching the Jets game last night.  Tim is sitting on my lap.

He proudly announces "I tooted!", but then he asks "where did the toot go?"

I say it went up in the sky.  Tim asks "Up in the sky like an airplane?"  I say sure, like an airplane.

Tim thinks for a bit, the decides that "the toot went to the airport then went up in the sky". :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on January 23, 2013, 01:30:54 pm
God feeds off toots.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on January 23, 2013, 01:42:25 pm
So I'm sitting watching the Jets game last night.  Tim is sitting on my lap.

He proudly announces "I tooted!", but then he asks "where did the toot go?"

I say it went up in the sky.  Tim asks "Up in the sky like an airplane?"  I say sure, like an airplane.

Tim thinks for a bit, the decides that "the toot went to the airport then went up in the sky". :lol:

They get confused when they grow a little older and suddenly their toots aren't as cute.

Lola rarely had gas even as an infant but she had a big one the other day that scared her :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on January 23, 2013, 02:55:37 pm
Beeb, I think you're great, your kids are great, this thread is great.  But that last story about the toots going to the airport went full Family Circus.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 23, 2013, 03:36:39 pm
That's so fucking adorable.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 30, 2013, 04:12:35 pm
My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house. :)


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.

I spoke with my wife over the phone today.  I asked what Timmy was doing.

"Oh he's standing at our bedroom window, waiting for the garbage truck to come".

:lol:

We had told him yesterday that the garbage truck was coming today...
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 07, 2013, 09:08:42 am
Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

He'll come up to me and say "elephants walk like this" (he then gets on his hands and feet), "elephants drink water with their trunks" (he puts his arm to his face to act as a trunk) "elephants go phooooo!" (his arm-trunk goes up in the air and he makes a sound like an elephant) "elephants go stomp stomp stomp" (he stomps around on the floor - this might be his favourite part) and "elephants wriggle their ears" (his uses his hands to wiggle his ears)

 :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on February 07, 2013, 09:11:13 am
Better start reading him Babar and show him how proper elephants act.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on February 07, 2013, 09:12:02 am
(http://www.favething.com/uploads/images/main-fave-images/don_t_yell_at_your_kids_lean_in_real_close_and_whisper_it_s_much_scarier-1.png)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on February 07, 2013, 09:19:32 am
Better start reading him Babar and show him how proper elephants act.

As gigolos for rich old Frenchwomen?  :hmm:

 :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on February 07, 2013, 04:37:59 pm
Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

Have you explained to him that there will likely be none living in the wild during his lifetime?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on February 07, 2013, 04:49:11 pm
My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house. :)


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.

I spoke with my wife over the phone today.  I asked what Timmy was doing.

"Oh he's standing at our bedroom window, waiting for the garbage truck to come".

:lol:

We had told him yesterday that the garbage truck was coming today...

That's awesome.  Garbage truck comes by our house at around 6:30 in the morning.  Used to scare the shit out of Tommy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on February 07, 2013, 04:50:03 pm
Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

Have you explained to him that there will likely be none living in the wild during his lifetime?

What do you think zoos are for?  It's not like he's likely to go on a safari :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 19, 2013, 10:22:23 pm
An Andrew story tonight.

So he's 7 months old, going on 8.  We can pull himself up to standing and cruise around on furniture like nobody's business.

He also just learned to blow his lips together and blow raspberries. Pbbbbllllttttt!

So tonight he'd pull himself up on the couch, cruise over to me, and start blowing raspberries at me.  I'd blow one back, and we had a whole spit-filled 'conversation' blowing raspberries back and forth.  :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: jimmy olsen on February 20, 2013, 02:08:41 am
Those with young Languish readers may be interested in this. -_-


F is for Fugitive (http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_vault/2013/01/24/gospel_of_slavery_the_1864_pro_abolitionist_children_s_book.html)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on February 20, 2013, 06:23:24 am
I was watching The Walking Dead when Ariel walked into the room.

Everytime I zombie bites it she laughs & yells "dodo" (sleep).

They grow up so fast, already ready to handle a zombie apocalypse.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on March 05, 2013, 07:02:45 am
I lined up a couple of rows of Peeps on the table and then set the kids loose on them. It was like a pack of zombies tearing into that sweet sweet peep flesh.

I sat there like I was God.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 02:36:19 pm
Timmy likes to play 'animals' down in the basement.  What that means is we get down on our hands and knees and make various animal noises (lions roar, elephants trumpet, that kind of thing) plus usually there is some play wrestling going on.

What I find cute about this is once we start playing is instead of calling me daddy, he'll call me "Daddy Lion", or "Daddy Hippo".  As in "come here Daddy Hippo". :D

Last night though was a new twist.  Suddenly there was a lion in the basement, and we had to go hide from it (behind a glass french door :lol:).  Then we would have to go out and find the lion again, then go back and hide behind the french door again.




Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on March 15, 2013, 02:52:55 pm
Wow, ever heard of a condom?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: 11B4V on March 15, 2013, 02:54:13 pm

Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:


congrats
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: 11B4V on March 15, 2013, 02:55:29 pm
Wow, ever heard of a condom?

Ever hear of astroglide.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on March 15, 2013, 03:12:57 pm
FFS stop trying to compete with Monkeybutt.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on March 15, 2013, 03:22:00 pm
 :cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PRC on March 15, 2013, 03:30:52 pm
Congratulations Beeb!  That's great news!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on March 15, 2013, 03:33:01 pm
Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.

:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: mongers on March 15, 2013, 04:03:18 pm
.....

Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.

Congratulation. :cheers:



Though I'm slightly concerned that the rich diversity, that is Languish, will in future times be mainly represented by Ed, yours and Grey Fox's multiple progeny.   :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on March 15, 2013, 05:25:18 pm
Great.  More Canadians.  That's just swell.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on March 15, 2013, 05:26:23 pm
FFS stop trying to compete with Monkeybutt.

I am the Master. :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 05:36:35 pm
FFS stop trying to compete with Monkeybutt.

The missus was joking (I hope it was joking) about maybe it was twins. :o

But thankfully the ultrasound confirmed just one.

And as much as this world could use even more Ukrainians, I'll go get snipped after this one is born.   :ph34r:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 05:38:27 pm
.....

Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.

Congratulation. :cheers:



Though I'm slightly concerned that the rich diversity, that is Languish, will in future times be mainly represented by Ed, yours and Grey Fox's multiple progeny.   :P

Don't forget Valmy, Fahdiz, Merithyn (how could you forget Meri's brood!), Hakluyt, pedrito, Berkut, sbr...

Though if you're concerned you could always use the brindfinder to find yourself a fertile 16 year old...  :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on March 15, 2013, 05:39:37 pm
Waay too Gringo that list is.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 05:40:32 pm
Waay too Gringo that list is.

Well if you're relying on you, Tim, and Jaron to reproduce... :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on March 15, 2013, 05:46:00 pm
I am relying on flip-I-can. But more meant some asshole omitting Lusti from his list.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 05:46:40 pm
I am relying on flip-I-can. But more meant some asshole omitting Lusti from his list.

He's the King of the Lurkers - of course I forgot about him!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on March 15, 2013, 05:58:12 pm
I need more kids.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on March 15, 2013, 05:58:28 pm
Congrat Beeb :cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on March 15, 2013, 05:59:52 pm
I need more kids.
nooooooooooooooo
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on March 15, 2013, 06:51:10 pm
Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.

:cheers:

Do you have an ideal upper limit of kids, or are you aiming for a Monkeybutt style "clan of thousands"?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on March 15, 2013, 07:33:20 pm
Congrats Beeb. You need to keep going til you have a girl.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 09:18:29 pm
Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.

:cheers:

Do you have an ideal upper limit of kids, or are you aiming for a Monkeybutt style "clan of thousands"?

If we had gotten started much, much earlier, maybe, but as it is I'll be 38 1/2 when this guy is born.  Three should be plenty. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on March 18, 2013, 09:39:41 am
That's still young. The age is of your wife is what's important. Also there's always divorce!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 12, 2013, 09:57:59 am
Some amusing Timmyisms from the recent trip to Brazil:

-the hotel we were staying at at one point was our "hometel"

-the cicadas that would occasionally come into the house were called, appropriately enough "big cadas"

-umbrellas were "gorillas"

-elevators were "alligators"

-the house we were staying at had some small gecko-like lizards.  Timmy was fascinated by them and insisted that we go "wizard hunting" to go find more.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 16, 2013, 05:46:27 pm
Timmy was up before I left for work this morning.  He wanted a banana, which I gave him.

then he asked me "Will you stay and play with me today?" 

:cry:

I told him I have to go to work, but he seemed okay with that.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on April 16, 2013, 07:35:15 pm
Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.
:yeahright: "Just happened?"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on April 16, 2013, 09:46:03 pm
Congrats, Beeb. :) You should hold off on the snipping, though. A fourth child would complete the set and give you the perfect curling team.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 16, 2013, 09:48:43 pm
Congrats, Beeb. :) You should hold off on the snipping, though. A fourth child would complete the set and give you the perfect curling team.

Oh hells no.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on April 18, 2013, 10:56:43 am
Cassandra told me she couldn't find her Pinkie Pie pony. so I spent 2 hours searching followed by a very sad girl. Then she remembers putting it in a basement closet. They were playing hide n' seek.

ME:  :mad:

Trolled by a child.  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: fhdz on April 18, 2013, 11:00:28 am
Congrats, Beeb. :) You should hold off on the snipping, though. A fourth child would complete the set and give you the perfect curling team.

 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on April 18, 2013, 11:12:58 am
Cassandra told me she couldn't find her Pinkie Pie pony. so I spent 2 hours searching followed by a very sad girl. Then she remembers putting it in a basement closet. They were playing hide n' seek.

ME:  :mad:

Trolled by a child.  :(

Get used to that.... :glare:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on April 18, 2013, 11:13:54 am
Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.
:yeahright: "Just happened?"

Its the messiah
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on April 18, 2013, 11:14:20 am
They already steal my car keys. Little do they know I have backup sets.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on April 18, 2013, 11:49:43 am
Timmy was up before I left for work this morning.  He wanted a banana, which I gave him.

then he asked me "Will you stay and play with me today?" 

:cry:

I told him I have to go to work, but he seemed okay with that.

Kids are cruel.  They make you feel bad all day for something like that, but two minutes after you left his mind was probably on something else :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on April 18, 2013, 03:42:44 pm
Timmy was up before I left for work this morning.  He wanted a banana, which I gave him.

then he asked me "Will you stay and play with me today?" 

:cry:

I told him I have to go to work, but he seemed okay with that.

Kids are cruel.  They make you feel bad all day for something like that, but two minutes after you left his mind was probably on something else :D

BB leaves the house.

Timmy thinks to himself "hey look a TV...."
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on April 30, 2013, 02:39:12 pm
Gaze upon my spawn mortals!!11

(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l58/Valmy77/DavidandHenryBluebonnets_zps0ee75725.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on April 30, 2013, 02:41:50 pm
Good looking kids Valmy.

My oldest got his learner's license yesterday.  People may want to avoid the North Vancouver area for a while.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on April 30, 2013, 03:06:20 pm
Atleast, I am doing my part to offset this sausage party.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/559397_10151587697950677_1600496596_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on April 30, 2013, 03:07:24 pm
She is a cutie
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on April 30, 2013, 04:26:13 pm
Very adorable!  :)

Goes for both the Frenchie and the Texan.  ;)

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on April 30, 2013, 04:38:08 pm
Atleast, I am doing my part to offset this sausage party.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/559397_10151587697950677_1600496596_n.jpg)

Too cute.  That reminds me, I need to try to find some rain boots for my daughter.  Who the hell knew they were "out of season" in all stores around here in the spring.

Speaking of which, Lola learned all her letters and numbers (side benefit of her iPad fixation) and now has an obsession now with reading license plates.  I have to distract her when we're walking through parking lots or we'll never get out :mellow:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 30, 2013, 04:55:33 pm
Too cute.  That reminds me, I need to try to find some rain boots for my daughter.  Who the hell knew they were "out of season" in all stores around here in the spring.

Speaking of which, Lola learned all her letters and numbers (side benefit of her iPad fixation) and now has an obsession now with reading license plates.  I have to distract her when we're walking through parking lots or we'll never get out :mellow:

Awesome. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 30, 2013, 05:24:42 pm
Too cute.  That reminds me, I need to try to find some rain boots for my daughter.  Who the hell knew they were "out of season" in all stores around here in the spring.

Be careful what you wish for;  my youngest niece was in a "rain boots" phase for a good year and a half.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on April 30, 2013, 05:31:39 pm
Thank god ghey fox daughter takes after her momma.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on April 30, 2013, 07:24:55 pm
Thank god ghey fox daughter takes after her momma.

 :hmm: But I'm an handsome men!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on April 30, 2013, 07:28:58 pm
Too cute.  That reminds me, I need to try to find some rain boots for my daughter.  Who the hell knew they were "out of season" in all stores around here in the spring.

Be careful what you wish for;  my youngest niece was in a "rain boots" phase for a good year and a half.

Yeah, already there. She wears Tommy's around the house all the time.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on May 05, 2013, 01:54:48 am
Kids are creepy.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/the-creepiest-things-a-child-has-ever-said-to-a-parent

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-27041-1367262830-7.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-22240-1367262830-0.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-27025-1367262830-0.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-4205-1367262831-5.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-17928-1367262831-3.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-16757-1367262832-0.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-16746-1367262832-0.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-22240-1367263401-2.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-25476-1367263401-3.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-27037-1367263401-11.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-22233-1367262995-5.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-22230-1367262832-0.jpg)

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/4/29/15/enhanced-buzz-26986-1367263400-10.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 05, 2013, 02:34:14 pm
Tommy has had a few interesting ones. Nothing quite as dark as those but still dark. Like when he hadn't seen one of his friends for a couple months & asked me "Does Tito think I'm dead?" :huh:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 13, 2013, 11:32:36 pm
So my wife had a doctor's appointment today.  I've missed a few, but today I could go.

When we went, the doctor, as hard as she tried, could not find the baby's heartbeat.  The doctor was pretty calm about it, but insisted we get into an ultrasound.  Today.  Which sent my wife into tears.

So we got into an ultrasound in the late afternoon.  Baby was just fine.  Just had his/her back to us.  But since we were in there, the ultrasound technician wanted to do the full workup.  Which included asking about gender.  After the big scare my wife really wanted to know the gender.

It's another boy!  Yay three boys! :unsure:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 13, 2013, 11:41:42 pm
Jebus Chris GF, didn't you have a kid like 6 months ago?  :blink:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 13, 2013, 11:46:47 pm
These people keep popping them out as they were going out of style.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 13, 2013, 11:57:44 pm
Jebus Chris GF, didn't you have a kid like 6 months ago?  :blink:

GF?

I had a kid 10 months ago.  This one was a... surprise.  All the more surprising since the first two took significant doses of fertility drugs.   :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 14, 2013, 12:02:43 am
You have beat me now Canadian-me but I still hold out hope we will aim for #3 when I finish my degree.

Speaking of my EE degree...watching my grades being reported with white knuckles, just finished my last final today.  That Probability class was a bitch.  I got a B+ on my advanced programming class at least.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 14, 2013, 12:03:51 am
GF?

Gay Fox
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 14, 2013, 12:06:13 am
GF?

Gay Fox

Which is what posed the question mark - GF hadn't posted much of anything in the thread, so I assumed you were talking to me.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 14, 2013, 12:14:39 am
Couple pages back he posted a picture of his gigantic newborn.  The chick.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 14, 2013, 12:25:20 am
Okay, so a recent pic.  Apparently Timmy and I went native in Brazil, wearing Bahia soccer jerseys.  But thank goodness Andrew knew enough to keep the faith of the Winnipeg Jets.

(http://i44.tinypic.com/9h8ltk.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 14, 2013, 12:27:21 am
Still look 12.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on May 14, 2013, 12:32:06 am
Still look 12.

And the fake glasses don't help at all.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 14, 2013, 12:35:22 am
Still look 12.

And the fake glasses don't help at all.

I'll tell you the same thing I tell Andrew each time he wants to grab my glasses: "I need these to see!". :mad:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on May 14, 2013, 01:02:46 am

It's another boy!  Yay three boys! :unsure:
:cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 14, 2013, 05:57:14 am
Still look 12.

No kidding.

"That guy just sent me to prison?  That guy?  Seriously?"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 14, 2013, 09:16:17 am
So my wife had a doctor's appointment today.  I've missed a few, but today I could go.

When we went, the doctor, as hard as she tried, could not find the baby's heartbeat.  The doctor was pretty calm about it, but insisted we get into an ultrasound.  Today.  Which sent my wife into tears.

So we got into an ultrasound in the late afternoon.  Baby was just fine.  Just had his/her back to us.  But since we were in there, the ultrasound technician wanted to do the full workup. 

:hug:

I'm so glad that it all worked out. That's terrifying when that happens. How far along is she now?

Quote
Which included asking about gender.  After the big scare my wife really wanted to know the gender.
It's another boy!  Yay three boys! :unsure:

:D

Oh, you're going to have soooo much fun. :lol:

And of course this means you have to have at least one more child so that you've got one good little angel girl. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 14, 2013, 09:19:53 am
We're at 19 weeks.  Due date is October 8th.

But really - how much trouble could 3 brothers born three years apart get into? :unsure:

And no.  We're done. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 14, 2013, 09:20:50 am
Couple pages back he posted a picture of his gigantic newborn.  The chick.

She's almost 2. My new kid is ~2 month away from release.

@BB, lots & lots. Also your grocery bills are going to suck starting in 10 years. You a costco member, right?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: AnchorClanker on May 14, 2013, 09:23:05 am
We're at 19 weeks.  Due date is October 8th.

But really - how much trouble could 3 brothers born three years apart get into? :unsure:

And no.  We're done.

:cheers:

My sister's 2nd is due sometime similar as well.  I dig being an uncle.   :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 14, 2013, 09:33:02 am
We're at 19 weeks.  Due date is October 8th.

But really - how much trouble could 3 brothers born three years apart get into? :unsure:

And no.  We're done.

 :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

Have fun. :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 14, 2013, 09:33:58 am
Riley and I were watching some old Youtube videos that she made about three years ago (during the Vancouver Winter Olympics), and I thought I'd share one. She was so cute and adorable, then. :wub:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fRkyEDE9uM
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: ulmont on May 14, 2013, 09:35:22 am
But really - how much trouble could 3 brothers born three years apart get into? :unsure:

I have two  brothers, one 2 years younger than me and one 4 years younger.  The answer is lots.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 14, 2013, 09:48:41 am
Well, here... a few tales of the last 19 years....

* Jak and Carter tried to cut Jak's pinkie off with my sewing shears
*Carter and Jak tried to teach Jeremy to swim in the bathtub... when he was six months old.
*Note: three toddlers do not fit on a single tricylce, no matter how much they may want to
*Where one boy cannot climb a tree, three certainly can. The problem: they can't get back down.
*Running in circles in the house with capes on is great fun! UNTIL one boy tries to pass the other two and the smallest goes flying into the stair banister. (Only four stitches above the eye. NBD)
*Doors keep people out (and in) at night... unless one brother lets the other two out and back in for $20
*Fair fights are a nice concept, but three-on-one is more effective, and suspension for all is a lot more fun than suspension for one.
*Fist fights are not reserved for other kids
*In one year, we had stitches, a broken bone, a severely twisted ankle, two asthma attacks, and an appendectomy.

;)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PDH on May 14, 2013, 10:06:09 am


My sister's 2nd is due sometime similar as well.  I dig being an uncle.   :D

I do far better as an uncle than I ever would have as a dad.  I enjoy being the bad uncle.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: AnchorClanker on May 14, 2013, 10:07:05 am
Exactly.  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 14, 2013, 10:18:34 am
I prefer being an uncle as well.  Crazy Uncle Jay Jay lets us stay up late and watch age-inappropriate TV when he babysits, yay!

I'll write my nieces letters now and then, they get a charge over getting their own mail.  Makes them feel big.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 14, 2013, 10:37:48 am
I used to feed my nephews candy right before my bro would pick his kids up. ENJOY THE SUGAR RUSH.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on May 14, 2013, 10:48:10 am
We're at 19 weeks.  Due date is October 8th.

I like that date.  :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 20, 2013, 11:03:07 pm
Ok so I bought David a plastic tee ball set for Christmas just so we had another thing to play with outside.  Every once in a while we go and hit a few plastic balls around the yard and David generally likes just being able to swing a bat around and generally gets more tee than ball.  But today we went out and he was just crushing (for a 2.5 year old anyway) line drives all over the yard.  After each hit he would raise his hands and exclaim 'I'm a baseball player!'

I think I had a dadgasm.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 20, 2013, 11:13:04 pm
:D  Good stuff. 

Once Tommy settled in as a left-handed batter he's been hitting pretty consistently.  He kept switching up his throwing and batting, but it looks like he throws right and bats left. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 31, 2013, 08:40:53 pm
My daughter turned 2 today!

Incidently, BB's oldest turned 3.

HBs all around.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 31, 2013, 08:43:03 pm
My daughter turned 2 today!

Incidently, BB's oldest turned 3.

HBs all around.

 :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 31, 2013, 08:43:42 pm
Damn Breeders <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 31, 2013, 11:03:15 pm
Damn Breeders <_<

Whatever, Marti.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on May 31, 2013, 11:05:59 pm
I don't have to be gay to hate you damn people overpopulating the world!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 31, 2013, 11:07:13 pm
I don't have to be gay to hate you damn people overpopulating the world!

Canada has negative population growth (until you factor in immigration).  I'm just doing my part. -_-
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on June 01, 2013, 12:28:56 am
Uke halfbreeds aren't an improvement...
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 01, 2013, 01:00:27 am
Uke halfbreeds aren't an improvement...

True they aren't Ukrainian true-bloods... :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 10, 2013, 12:46:21 pm
Timmy decided we had to go see the wild animals the other day.  So he put two chairs together so we could go on the "train".  We sat down on the chairs, made some train sounds, and we were at the jungle.  So then Timmy would take me around to different corners of the house.  We'd go into the kitchen, he'd point at the cupboards and he say "Look!  It's a MONKEY!!!" (emphasis in the original).

My favourites were the giraffe that was hiding behind the bedroom door, and the hippopotamus that was under the kitchen table.



That same day we were in the basement.  I was giving him horsey rides, getting on all fours and he'd ride on my back.  But horsey rides weren't interesting enough I guess, because soon I was a buffalo instead, giving buffalo rides.  My name was Daddy Buffalo, as in "go here Daddy Buffalo".  Timmy would ride to different corners of the basement, where he'd then tell me to stop because he had to go to a store.  We made stops at the Chair Store and the Food Store, for example.  Then he's tell me to take a rest and go to sleep - but only because 30 seconds later he'd yell out "Cock a Doodle Doo!!!" and we'd be back at it again.



And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tonitrus on June 10, 2013, 07:52:54 pm
because soon I was a buffalo instead, giving buffalo rides.  M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ4T9CQA0UM
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on June 10, 2013, 10:25:35 pm
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 11, 2013, 08:00:14 am
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P

I've already got a couple of humiliating early childhood anecdotes picked out for Carl's first GF.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on June 11, 2013, 08:50:31 am
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

Me, too. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on June 11, 2013, 03:34:05 pm
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P

I've already got a couple of humiliating early childhood anecdotes picked out for Carl's first GF.  :P

I am keeping mine until his wedding.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on June 11, 2013, 04:29:12 pm
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P

I've already got a couple of humiliating early childhood anecdotes picked out for Carl's first GF.  :P

I am keeping mine until his wedding.

In that case ... you aren't invited.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on June 11, 2013, 04:35:29 pm
DOH!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 26, 2013, 05:20:44 pm
Back to school shopping(or in the twins case, first time to school shopping)

In smiley format.

Wife: :w00t:

Twins:  :huh:

Me:  :glare:

(At changing room)

Wife:  :)

Katerina:  <_<

Cassandra:  :moon:

Me:  :glare:

Twins:  :mad: :mad:

Me: :ultra:

Twins:  :cry:

Wife:  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: 11B4V on July 26, 2013, 05:31:23 pm
Well done
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on July 27, 2013, 07:41:32 am
So I did a spot of babysitting, as Mommy and Daddy hit a concert last night.
The 9 year old has access to her own computer from the kitchen, all locked down from the seedier side of the internet.
I asked her if it had parental controls on it, and she was all, "Yes, Mommy has parent controls on it, because there's this whole other side of the internet that isn’t kid friendly.”
I told her I’ve seen that side of the internet, and she wasn’t missing very much.
“Yes, it’s totally not age appropriate for me.”
I told her it wasn’t really age appropriate for me, either.
She said she didn’t need it anyway then.  Such a sharp girl.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on July 27, 2013, 07:54:40 am
 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 05, 2013, 08:21:41 am
I was watching TV when I heard one of the girls yelling "boogers!". So I get up and quietly 'observe' them. They had one of the iPads and apparently discovered the google voice search. After listening to them yell TURDS and POOP at the iPad and then giggle uncontrollably,I decide to intervene before WIENER and PEE PEE start getting thrown about.

So i pop out of my hiding space and they turn white. First I ask if they got permission to use the iPad. They start looking into space.. Yeah, that answers the question. Then I ask them where they learned those words. FROM YOU DADDY.  :Embarrass:

I decide not to punish them, but give them a talk about not taking things without permission. Then showed them the cannonball dookie and the boogers kid videos on youtube. I became father of the year in their eyes right then.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 05, 2013, 08:38:17 am
My sister's been doing "Movie Night" on Saturdays with the niece, the one night they can stay up later and watch movies with Mommy and Daddy.
Last week was Star Wars, and this past Saturday was Empire Strikes Back.
The youngest tried using The Force on Mommy all Sunday.  But Mommy's apparently too heavy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 05, 2013, 11:38:54 am
I was watching TV when I heard one of the girls yelling "boogers!". So I get up and quietly 'observe' them. They had one of the iPads and apparently discovered the google voice search. After listening to them yell TURDS and POOP at the iPad and then giggle uncontrollably,I decide to intervene before WIENER and PEE PEE start getting thrown about.

So i pop out of my hiding space and they turn white. First I ask if they got permission to use the iPad. They start looking into space.. Yeah, that answers the question. Then I ask them where they learned those words. FROM YOU DADDY.  :Embarrass:

I decide not to punish them, but give them a talk about not taking things without permission. Then showed them the cannonball dookie and the boogers kid videos on youtube. I became father of the year in their eyes right then.

:D

Remember looking up bad words in the dictionary? :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on August 05, 2013, 11:51:33 am
I was watching TV when I heard one of the girls yelling "boogers!". So I get up and quietly 'observe' them. They had one of the iPads and apparently discovered the google voice search. After listening to them yell TURDS and POOP at the iPad and then giggle uncontrollably,I decide to intervene before WIENER and PEE PEE start getting thrown about.

So i pop out of my hiding space and they turn white. First I ask if they got permission to use the iPad. They start looking into space.. Yeah, that answers the question. Then I ask them where they learned those words. FROM YOU DADDY.  :Embarrass:

I decide not to punish them, but give them a talk about not taking things without permission. Then showed them the cannonball dookie and the boogers kid videos on youtube. I became father of the year in their eyes right then.

Tommy does that, but without the turning white part-- if anything my presence encourages him using gross words somehow.  I'm guessing that's the difference between boys & girls.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on August 05, 2013, 11:52:22 am
Remember looking up bad words in the dictionary? :wub:

When my cousin showed me how to get the calculator to say "BOOBS" my mind was totally blown.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 06, 2013, 05:52:32 pm
Remember looking up bad words in the dictionary? :wub:

When my cousin showed me how to get the calculator to say "BOOBS" my mind was totally blown.

5318008

:D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 08, 2013, 03:22:19 pm
I decide to purchase a new game for the kids for the Xbox360. A horse game? Something educational? NO.

I get Injustice: Gods Among Us

The twins quickly get up to speed and stat beating me occasionally( I of course throw those games).  They enjoy beating up batman. I enjoy beating up Wonder Woman. MISOGYNY!

Some notes: WHEN DID WONDER WOMAN START WEARING PANTS?

They also changed Harley Quinn. My wife's Halloween costume is out of date.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on August 08, 2013, 03:26:24 pm
Back to school shopping(or in the twins case, first time to school shopping)

In smiley format.

Wife: :w00t:

Twins:  :huh:

Me:  :glare:

(At changing room)

Wife:  :)

Katerina:  <_<

Cassandra:  :moon:

Me:  :glare:

Twins:  :mad: :mad:

Me: :ultra:

Twins:  :cry:

Wife:  :(

Now you never have to go again.  Well Done!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 08, 2013, 03:27:36 pm
Oh no. I fear I have 15 years of that agony.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on August 08, 2013, 03:28:19 pm
Oh no. I fear I have 15 years of that agony.

Then I have no sympathy for you.  You had your chance and blew it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on August 08, 2013, 05:22:20 pm


Some notes: WHEN DID WONDER WOMAN START WEARING PANTS?



you can blame gumbles favorite writer for that iirc.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 08, 2013, 06:12:23 pm


Some notes: WHEN DID WONDER WOMAN START WEARING PANTS?



you can blame gumbles favorite writer for that iirc.

WTF GRUMBLER
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PDH on August 08, 2013, 08:36:04 pm
Grumbler's favorite writer died in 395 BC.  He was like a son to Grumbler.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on August 08, 2013, 10:32:35 pm
Grumbler's favorite writer died in 395 BC.  He was like a son to Grumbler.
:lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on August 08, 2013, 11:12:28 pm
I decide to purchase a new game for the kids for the Xbox360. A horse game? Something educational? NO.

I get Injustice: Gods Among Us

The twins quickly get up to speed and stat beating me occasionally( I of course throw those games).  They enjoy beating up batman. I enjoy beating up Wonder Woman. MISOGYNY!

Some notes: WHEN DID WONDER WOMAN START WEARING PANTS?

They also changed Harley Quinn. My wife's Halloween costume is out of date.

So how many MS points is this game?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 08, 2013, 11:23:27 pm
My 6 weeks old has been awake for 6 hours now. It's like he's making up time for the first 3 weeks.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on August 08, 2013, 11:38:57 pm
My 6 weeks old has been awake for 6 hours now. It's like he's making up time for the first 3 weeks.

They do that, as I'm sure you know.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 09, 2013, 01:07:59 am
I decide to purchase a new game for the kids for the Xbox360. A horse game? Something educational? NO.

I get Injustice: Gods Among Us

The twins quickly get up to speed and stat beating me occasionally( I of course throw those games).  They enjoy beating up batman. I enjoy beating up Wonder Woman. MISOGYNY!

Some notes: WHEN DID WONDER WOMAN START WEARING PANTS?

They also changed Harley Quinn. My wife's Halloween costume is out of date.

So how many MS points is this game?

40 bucks.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 09, 2013, 09:27:19 am
My 6 weeks old has been awake for 6 hours now. It's like he's making up time for the first 3 weeks.

They do that, as I'm sure you know.

He followed that up by sleeping for 5h, a breast break & 3 more hours of sleep.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 26, 2013, 08:53:34 am
So my sister dropped my youngest niece off for a birthday party on Saturday, and it was early enough only one other girl was there.
They're burning time on a trampoline, and my niece felt it was still "her turn" on the trampoline, and the other girl disagreed.
So my niece stays on the trampoline, and the other girl punches her in the nose.

On the drive home, Mommy's talking to her about it and, yes, it was wrong for the other girl to punch her, but wouldn't it just have been easier to get off the trampoline to avoid a fight?

Her response:  "I should have seen it coming first."
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 26, 2013, 08:55:59 am

He followed that up by sleeping for 5h, a breast break & 3 more hours of sleep.

What a good boy! :hug:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 26, 2013, 08:59:09 am
Thought I'd share these here, too.

This morning, while I'm standing in the bathroom with Riley, brushing my teeth, I remember something that I'm supposed to tell her. I motion for her to wait a second, finish brushing, and then stand and look at her for a second.

Riley: :unsure: What?
Me: There was something that I had to tell you.
Riley: :huh: And...it is....?
Me: Hold on. I can't remember.
Riley: :mellow:
Me: Give me a second!
Riley:   :rolleyes:
Me: Nope, can't remember. I'll text you later.
Riley:  :hug: It's okay, Mom. No matter what anyone tells you, you're not getting old.  :hug:
Me:  :glare:

later, I'm sitting on my computer checking the news when I hear Riley from the kitchen:

Riley: Mom, why is there a bowl of dry cereal on the counter in here?
Me: Oh! I was making cereal! I forgot! *races into the kitchen to finish making the cereal*
Riley: How do you FORGET that you're making cereal?!
Me: Well, I poured my cereal and went to put the box back on top of the fridge when I noticed that the dry erase board for this week hadn't been updated yet so I did that and then I had to tell you that it was Jeremy's day for dishes and yours for cleaning the living room and when I came in to do that I remembered that I had been looking something up on the computer so I sat down to do that and then I saw the headline for Miley Cyrus on the VMA awards so I went to YouTube and watched her twerk. Then you reminded me about the cereal. :)
Riley: :mellow: :hug:  It's okay, Mom. No matter what anyone tells you, you're not getting old. :hug:
Me: :blush:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 26, 2013, 09:28:27 am
I really like Riley has a name. You have redeemed yourself after the fiasco that is the names of your boys.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on August 26, 2013, 09:40:21 am
I really like Riley has a name. You have redeemed yourself after the fiasco that is the names of your boys.

Meh only one has a fruity name that was self-inflicted.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 26, 2013, 09:48:31 am
So a couple of nights ago I took the boys to the park to play.  As usual on our way back we stop at a little retention pond to watch the ducks.

I'm trying to convince Tim that it's time to go home, that night is coming.  He says "well what about the ducks", and I say that the ducks are going to go to sleep.  And for God knows what reason, I tell him that the owls are going to be coming out soon.

So of course Timmy latches onto this idea that "the owls are coming!", and peppers me with questions about owls.

We go through our night time routine.  I brush his teeth and read him a story.  Then I sing him a song (I don't know how this started - I'm a terrible singer). Approximately 95% of the time he wants Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, occasionally broken up with Itsy Bitsy Spider or Old MacDonald's Farm.

But not this night.  This night he wants to hear The Owl Song.  I try to tell him that I don't know The Owl Song, so maybe he should sing it for me.

So he does.  On the spot he comes up with some song about owls.  It went something like "The owls come out at night, de do de do de do, the owls live in the woods, a be ba be ba bo", and went on for a solid minute or so.

Me: :o

I wish I could have recorded it.  It was cool.

And of course by the next night he had completely forgotten it, and we were back to my tone-deaf Twinkle Twinkle. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 26, 2013, 09:51:15 am
I sing Electric Six's Danger! High Voltage to my kids

FIRE IN THE TACO BELL
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 26, 2013, 10:02:54 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on August 26, 2013, 10:08:41 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.
Your girlfriend is cold!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 26, 2013, 10:13:01 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.
Your girlfriend is cold!

 :D

I read her a story once, told me to fuck off about a third thru.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on August 26, 2013, 10:15:14 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.

Really?  Woah.  How old is she?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 26, 2013, 10:16:29 am
2 years and 3months.

All indications points that my son will not be like that.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 26, 2013, 10:20:56 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.

This might change.  Over half the reason we have such a long bed-time routine is because Timmy is stalling for time and doesn't want to go to bed. <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 26, 2013, 10:28:01 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.

This might change.  Over half the reason we have such a long bed-time routine is because Timmy is stalling for time and doesn't want to go to bed. <_<

Oh she's got a trick for that too.

She goes to the bathroom a 100 times!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on August 26, 2013, 10:31:05 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.

This might change.  Over half the reason we have such a long bed-time routine is because Timmy is stalling for time and doesn't want to go to bed. <_<

 :lol:

Oh, my son is a master at that.

Begs for more story, says he's hungry, has to go the the washroom, then he's thirsty ...
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 26, 2013, 11:46:28 am
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.

:lol:

Riley used to be like that. I'd tuck her in, settle in beside her, and start reading a story. After just a couple of sentences, she'd put her hand on my mouth and say, "Shh-shh, Mommy. Shh-shh." So, I'd try to sing her a song, and she'd do the same thing. Finally, I'd say, "Okay, should I leave?" She'd nod sleepily, roll over, and say, "And shut the door on your way out, okay? Night, Mommy." She was three.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 26, 2013, 11:49:24 am
Timmy will sometimes do that - as a stalling tactic.  He'll say "no hug! No kiss!".

When I then say "okay, goodnight then." and start heading for the door suddenly he wants his hugs and kisses.

I wish I wasn't always just talking about Timmy... but Andrew is only just learning to talk.  He happily hears his story and gets put in his crib.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on August 26, 2013, 11:59:25 am
Man my kids seem so clingy and needy by comparison.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 26, 2013, 12:19:45 pm
Man my kids seem so clingy and needy by comparison.

Riley was - and is - unique. My boys were more like yours.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on August 26, 2013, 03:41:16 pm
I really miss those days. :(

I would go to the room of the oldest boy and start reading a book with one boy on each side.  Eventually the younger one would get tired and give and hug and kiss and toddle off to his bedroom where my wife would tuck him in.  I would keep reading until the older boy started drifting off - or I did - which ever came first. :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 26, 2013, 04:47:14 pm
I am quite prepared to read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich as punishment.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on August 26, 2013, 05:23:09 pm
I am quite prepared to read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich as punishment.

Interesting choice.  I opted for Narnia
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on August 26, 2013, 05:40:12 pm
I am quite prepared to read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich as punishment.

Interesting choice.  I opted for Narnia

I'm not a monster.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 26, 2013, 07:48:02 pm
My bed time routine consist of hugs & kisses then she tells me to leave her room & close the door.

I think I may have jinx myself. That is not what is happening tonite. I read her a story & sang a couple of songs. She still screams "Daddy, no more sleep" every 10mins or so.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 06, 2013, 11:42:19 am
It's Timmy's first day of pre-school today.  :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 06, 2013, 12:22:23 pm
It's Timmy's first day of pre-school today.  :)

Did you or Mommy cry? :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 06, 2013, 12:27:05 pm
He'll have, what, 2 years of pre-school?

Poor kid.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 06, 2013, 12:29:46 pm
He'll have, what, 2 years of pre-school?

Poor kid.

:huh:  He was super excited to go.  Really, he just wants to play with kids his own age.  He plays with his little brother, but there's only so much you can do with a 14 month old.

Meri - no tears on this end.  I'll see how mommy did later on.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 06, 2013, 12:38:55 pm
:thumbsup: 

Tommy didn't like having to go to pre-school, but once he got there he enjoyed it.  What amazed me was how quickly I became that annoying, intrusive parent asking about everything he did that day in school, and how quickly he became the surly kid that gave me vague answers or no answer at all.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 06, 2013, 12:42:51 pm
:thumbsup: 

Tommy didn't like having to go to pre-school, but once he got there he enjoyed it.  What amazed me was how quickly I became that annoying, intrusive parent asking about everything he did that day in school, and how quickly he became the surly kid that gave me vague answers or no answer at all.

:lol:

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 06, 2013, 12:44:07 pm
He'll have, what, 2 years of pre-school?

Poor kid.

You're joking, right? Pre-school is the best time ever in a kid's life! Lots of kids to play with, all the toys you can imagine, book time, floor time, outdoor time. Would that ALL of school was so awesome!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 06, 2013, 01:24:28 pm
Yes.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 06, 2013, 01:26:56 pm
He'll have, what, 2 years of pre-school?

Poor kid.

:huh:  He was super excited to go.  Really, he just wants to play with kids his own age.  He plays with his little brother, but there's only so much you can do with a 14 month old.

Meri - no tears on this end.  I'll see how mommy did later on.

You are confusing me with different words for the same things.

My kids go to day care, it breaks my heart every time but I do recognize that it's better for development.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 06, 2013, 06:17:09 pm
Amma and Pop Pop were informed that they are, in fact, old and decrepit.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 07, 2013, 12:25:27 am
Tonight, I went with my old man to see a CFL game.  :Canuck:

My wife, while at home with the boys, reported that Timmy (after his first day of pre-school) played with mommy and his little brother by having them play School.  So he would read them a story, give them a snack, and make them have quiet time.  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 08, 2013, 10:03:28 am
I got Diablo III Xbox360 for the kids.  :menace:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on September 09, 2013, 12:30:37 pm
I got Diablo III Xbox360 for the kids.  :menace:

You just want three teen exorcists to expel your sexually transmitted demons.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on September 09, 2013, 12:39:35 pm
your sexually transmitted demons.

It's not nice to call his kids that, no matter how accurate.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 09, 2013, 04:17:49 pm
Heh  :lol:

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on September 09, 2013, 04:52:15 pm
 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on September 09, 2013, 05:06:35 pm
your sexually transmitted demons.

It's not nice to call his kids that, no matter how accurate.
:XD:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 14, 2013, 07:44:42 pm
So the 6 year old had her first soccer game today.
Apparently it had to be reinforced that, even though you aren't allowed to touch the ball with your hands it also means you can't use them as weapons, either.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 14, 2013, 07:55:46 pm
So the 6 year old had her first soccer game today.
Apparently it had to be reinforced that, even though you aren't allowed to touch the ball with your hands it also means you can't use them as weapons, either.

 :D

My twins act like David Fulcher and Ronnie Lott.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 14, 2013, 08:07:47 pm
Real conversation between Jeremy and Riley:

Riley: Jeremy, your friend Tyler is hot! :perv:
Jeremy: No.
Ri: :huh:
Jeremy: Just no.
Ri: No what?!
Jeremy: You cannot date my friends. Ever.
Ri: :blink: Why not?
Jeremy: :mellow:
Ri: :mad:
Jeremy: Well, let me put it like this. Would you be okay with my dating one of your friends?
Ri: :o :yuk:
Jeremy: :mellow:
Ri:  :o :ph34r: Okay. Yeah, no dating each other's friends.
Jeremy: :yes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 14, 2013, 08:09:50 pm
My sister would never let me date her friends, either.  She wanted to keep them as friends.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on September 14, 2013, 08:10:43 pm
My sister pimped me out one Christmas break.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 14, 2013, 08:19:10 pm
Real conversation between Jeremy and Riley:

Riley: Jeremy, your friend Tyler is hot! :perv:
Jeremy: No.
Ri: :huh:
Jeremy: Just no.
Ri: No what?!
Jeremy: You cannot date my friends. Ever.
Ri: :blink: Why not?
Jeremy: :mellow:
Ri: :mad:
Jeremy: Well, let me put it like this. Would you be okay with my dating one of your friends?
Ri: :o :yuk:
Jeremy: :mellow:
Ri:  :o :ph34r: Okay. Yeah, no dating each other's friends.
Jeremy: :yes:

Can I date Riley's friends?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on September 14, 2013, 08:27:11 pm
Too old for you.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 14, 2013, 08:27:28 pm

Can I date Riley's friends?

They're too old for you.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on September 14, 2013, 08:29:37 pm
Too slow!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 14, 2013, 08:30:26 pm
Like Ed.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 14, 2013, 08:31:27 pm
  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on September 14, 2013, 09:11:53 pm
  :(
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc3eC-NbrBo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DQc3eC-NbrBo
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 14, 2013, 09:26:08 pm
 :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on September 14, 2013, 09:28:17 pm
:(
:lol: aww. It's ok, you've still got a better life than most people here :console:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PRC on September 15, 2013, 12:37:50 am
My son is just over 14 months and i'm sure like every child that age is curious about everything.  Today he was reaching out and touching our unlit gas fireplace, pulling the panel at the bottom down and pulling on the wires, slapping the glass, etc.  The wife noticed him doing it and said "No touch" while I, a little more sharply than intended loudly shouted "HEY!".  He turned around, looked a little unsure, then went full quiver-lip cry.  I felt terrible.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 18, 2013, 09:13:19 am
As for obnoxious smug parenting stories... I went through the crawlspace storage looking for some packed-up baby clothes.  I didn't find the clothes, but I found something better.

Teddy.  My teddy.  Hand-made by my mommy back in '75.  Sure, he has mid-70s diaper-pins holding his arms on, and a couple of holes he is slowly losing stuffing out of.  But Baby Number 2 is definitely getting Teddy.  Or rather, excuse me, Ted. E. Bear, to give him his proper name. :wub:  I don't care if baby just chews on him, spits up on him, or whatever - it is what Ted E. Bear would want.

So last year my wife took one look at Ted E. Bear and declared that while he could sit on a shelf, there was no way that baby (now named Andrew) would get his hands on him. :(  It was probably the old-school diaper safety pins holding his arms on.

So he's been sitting on a shelf for the last year.

But last night my older boy, Timmy, saw him and asked questions about him.  I explained that his name was Ted and that he was a very good friend of mine from when I was a baby.  Timmy thought that was very interesting and carried him around for awhile.

When it was time for bed Timmy said he wanted Ted to talk.  He asked if he had a button.  I said no, that Ted can talk, but he only whispers, and held him up to Timmy's ear.  Timmy looked puzzled for a bit, but then he had a lightbulb moment where he said "yeah! I can hear him!".  Timmy and Ted then went to bed together, and he was carrying him around when he woke up this morning.

If toys have even a tiny little spark of a soul, I'm sure Ted E. Bear is one happy bear today.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 18, 2013, 09:15:29 am
Aww. That's so sweet! :hug: :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 18, 2013, 09:17:18 am
Until the bear comes to life and has a drug fueled party.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on September 18, 2013, 09:33:04 am
Until the bear comes to life and has a drug fueled party.

Alright Hunter S. Edson
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 18, 2013, 09:37:24 am
My son is just over 14 months and i'm sure like every child that age is curious about everything.  Today he was reaching out and touching our unlit gas fireplace, pulling the panel at the bottom down and pulling on the wires, slapping the glass, etc.  The wife noticed him doing it and said "No touch" while I, a little more sharply than intended loudly shouted "HEY!".  He turned around, looked a little unsure, then went full quiver-lip cry.  I felt terrible.

You'll get used to it.  My kids may hate me sometimes but they do what I say.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on September 18, 2013, 11:44:39 am
You'll get used to it. 

PRC, if you do you are doing something wrong. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 19, 2013, 03:31:04 pm
So Grandma's been staying with us to help look after the boys during the day.

Yesterday, grandma took the boys down to the pond to feed the geese that are flying south for the winter.  Timmy was quite taken with this.

When they got home (at around the same time I did) he asks "Daddy can I be a goose?"  I said "sure".

So for the next ten minutes he's walking around on all fours going "honk honk honk!"

Then he decides he's hungry, and says "the goose wants bread".  He then insisted we feed him pieces of bread into his mouth.

The thing is, he's such a picky eater that if he wants to just eat dry bread like a goose, we let him. :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 19, 2013, 03:35:44 pm
You'll get used to it. 

PRC, if you do you are doing something wrong. 

I meant you'll get used to feeling guilty.  Not that you wouldn't feel guilt.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 19, 2013, 05:27:21 pm
I meant you'll get used to feeling guilty.  Not that you wouldn't feel guilt.

I understood what you meant. :hug:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on September 19, 2013, 05:30:55 pm
You'll get used to it. 

PRC, if you do you are doing something wrong. 

I meant you'll get used to feeling guilty.  Not that you wouldn't feel guilt.

Ah ok.  My apologies
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 30, 2013, 12:49:30 am
I few more anecdotes posted for my own edification...


Timmy is using grandmas (my mom's) iPad to play a toddler game she has installed.  Somehow, and we don't know quite how, he starts playing some music that's on the iPad.  Some CCR / John Fogarty (I didn't know my mom was a fan).  Timmy starts dancing to it.  He convinces me and my wife to dance with him too.  Andrew also gets into the act. 

I never knew dancing to 'Centerfield' at 10am Saturday morning in our pajamas could be so much fun. :)


Today (Sunday) I go out to try and clean up the garage so we can park our vehicles in it for the rapidly approaching winter.  But Timmy wants to come out with me, so not so much gets accomplished.  Instead, we play a few different games, including hockey.

I bought a full-size wooden stick last year.  Timmy has a little plastic mini-stick with Lightening McQueen from Pixar's Cars on it.  We've played hockey before, just using a little plastic ball.  But today he asks me about the tape on my stick.  I reply that it's hockey tape.  Timmy then insists that I put hockey tape on his Lightening McQueen hockey stick, which of course I do. :)


After playing hockey, we go to Home Depot.  Time is enthralled when we hear the forklift, so we go and watch it load a pallet of flooring into the back of someone's truck.  But once we get into our own true, he tells me that he's ready for a nap (this in itself is remarkable).  But we try and stretch him out to get a few things for supper at the grocery store.  And at first he's fine - we find the one special grocery cart that's part fire-truck at the front for him to ride in.  So he's happy as we get our groceries.

But as we stand in the checkout, Timmy gets out and wants to push the cart.  Fine, fine - but we have to wait until we pay for the groceries.  He's okay with that.

Once we pay for the groceries though, we let Timmy push the cart.  He promptly runs into everything in sight.  We just try and help him 'steer' - and he looses it.  "I just want to push the cart!" "No I don't want any helping!"  I end up having to carry a screaming 3 year old out of the grocery store and into the truck.  In it he still screams all the way home, at which time I carry him into his bed and he promptly goes for a nap. <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on September 30, 2013, 07:31:09 am
Yep, being tired sucks.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on September 30, 2013, 08:05:09 am
He did warn you. It's not his fault you ignored him. :sleep:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 30, 2013, 08:57:35 am
Yeah, man.  Just from watching my nieces, miss the nap launch window at your own peril.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 30, 2013, 09:01:01 am
That is why I keep a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PDH on September 30, 2013, 09:04:26 am
That is why I keep a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car.

I rub a little on my gums and the kids don't bother me anymore.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 30, 2013, 09:05:21 am
That is why I keep a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car.

I rub a little on my gums and the kids don't bother me anymore.

 :) :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 30, 2013, 09:05:59 am
That is why I keep a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car.

Hitting them with your flip flop instead probably wouldn't leave as many bruises, though.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 30, 2013, 09:07:10 am
Too ethnic.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 30, 2013, 09:07:57 am
I'll get a switch.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Crazy_Ivan80 on September 30, 2013, 12:56:44 pm
You'll get used to it. 

PRC, if you do you are doing something wrong. 

I meant you'll get used to feeling guilty.  Not that you wouldn't feel guilt.

lessen the guilt by saying that the little one is cute while crying. It helps a little.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 30, 2013, 12:59:13 pm
He did warn you. It's not his fault you ignored him. :sleep:

Oh, I know.  It wasn't his fault.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on October 02, 2013, 08:40:58 am
I spent the day yesterday with my son, Jackson. He called and asked me out to dinner - his treat. We had plans to drive up to Chicago for the book signing that night, so since I'd taken the day off, we decided to do lunch instead.

He was so cute! He came to the house on his scooter, which he very proudly showed off to me. Then, we went out to eat, and he was careful to let me know that I could order whatever I wanted since he was paying. :D

We chatted about life, the universe, and everything. He's getting promoted to shift manager at the end of the month, and will also be in charge of Carter when he gets back here and starts working at the same place. So, we talked about how he should handle that, etc. We talked about him going back to school in the fall to study International Business. We talked about the fact that I have to be nice to all of his girlfriends now, because we'll never know which one will end up my daughter-in-law. (He came to a full stop when I said this, and his eyes got big before he said, "Wow. Yeah, I never thought about that, but it makes sense.")

It's so much fun dealing with them as adults now. I mean, I loved them when they were snuggle-bugs, too, but this is a whole new world. I'm intensely proud of him. :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on October 02, 2013, 10:41:43 am
:)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 02, 2013, 10:43:04 am
When Tommy gets to that age I pretty much just imagine me continuing to yell at him, just at a higher volume :lol:

The wife had to take over for me when we were doing homework the other night.  He had no problem handling the material (in fact he was a little bored with it), but his lack of focus was getting on my nerves.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on October 02, 2013, 10:46:35 am
Why do i imagine Derspicy as the great santini?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on October 02, 2013, 10:46:45 am
When Tommy gets to that age I pretty much just imagine me continuing to yell at him, just at a higher volume :lol:

The wife had to take over for me when we were doing homework the other night.  He had no problem handling the material (in fact he was a little bored with it), but his lack of focus was getting on my nerves.

I thought the same, but there's a change that happens once they're out of high school. You realize that it's no longer about your plans for them, and it's all about their plans for themselves. All we can do is help them figure out what those plans are, and then support them while they get there.

It's very liberating, really. I still worry about him, of course, but it's a different kind of worrying. One that doesn't require that I lecture or yell at him. More of the, "Please don't pick a girl I hate to marry! Please don't pick a job that takes you too far away from me!" kind of worrying.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 02, 2013, 10:47:51 am
Why do i imagine Derspicy as the great santini?

That is my title!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on October 02, 2013, 10:58:20 am
Sorry boss!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 02, 2013, 05:39:38 pm
Sorry boss!

Give me 30 push ups!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ideologue on October 02, 2013, 05:42:04 pm
Make sure to space them out over the course of a day; we want to maintain our current orbit.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 02, 2013, 05:44:00 pm
Make sure to space them out over the course of a day; we want to maintain our current orbit.
:lmfao:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 02, 2013, 05:45:00 pm
Make sure to space them out over the course of a day; we want to maintain our current orbit.

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Etgiuze_7JA/ToPbFdFsXzI/AAAAAAAACiQ/Rk52cXIUMzA/s1600/Santini+drunk+and+laughing.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on October 02, 2013, 09:48:19 pm
Make sure to space them out over the course of a day; we want to maintain our current orbit.
Yep I'll be at your funeral with bells on. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Legbiter on October 03, 2013, 07:42:05 am
Just had another son yesterday, both the wife & newborn are back home safe and sound . The spare to the heir just got a spare of his own.  ;)

Can Languish field 2 soccer teams worth of kids yet?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on October 03, 2013, 07:47:06 am
Just had another son yesterday, both the wife & newborn are back home safe and sound . The spare to the heir just got a spare of his own.  ;)

Can Languish field 2 soccer teams worth of kids yet?

Congrats, Legbiter. :)

What's your son's name?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PDH on October 03, 2013, 07:48:41 am
 :rolleyes:

Leggy Legbitersson
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Legbiter on October 03, 2013, 07:51:39 am
Just had another son yesterday, both the wife & newborn are back home safe and sound . The spare to the heir just got a spare of his own.  ;)

Can Languish field 2 soccer teams worth of kids yet?

Congrats, Legbiter. :)

What's your son's name?

Oldest one is Olaf, second's Weylund and the third, Hákon, by the looks of it. Hákon Legbitersson of course as per tradition.  ;)  Good solid names that work in both Iceland and Norway (wife's Norwegian).
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Legbiter on October 03, 2013, 07:52:50 am
:rolleyes:

Leggy Legbitersson

 :lol:

Yes, actually all of them are Legbitersson.  :sleep:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 03, 2013, 07:56:03 am
Just had another son yesterday, both the wife & newborn are back home safe and sound . The spare to the heir just got a spare of his own.  ;)

Can Languish field 2 soccer teams worth of kids yet?

Of course

Ed Angertarium vs The World
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 03, 2013, 08:07:07 am
Just had another son yesterday, both the wife & newborn are back home safe and sound . The spare to the heir just got a spare of his own.  ;)

Can Languish field 2 soccer teams worth of kids yet?

Of course

Ed Angertarium vs The World

My kids would kill everybody else's.

RED CARD FOR CROTCH PUNCHING
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 03, 2013, 09:06:20 am
Except BB's kids. Good Old Albertan boys are tough.

Also, watch out for my Pink Linebaker.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 03, 2013, 09:31:00 am
Just had another son yesterday, both the wife & newborn are back home safe and sound . The spare to the heir just got a spare of his own.  ;)

Can Languish field 2 soccer teams worth of kids yet?

:cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 03, 2013, 09:41:35 am
Just had another son yesterday, both the wife & newborn are back home safe and sound . The spare to the heir just got a spare of his own.  ;)

Can Languish field 2 soccer teams worth of kids yet?

I've got two boys, with a third boy due next week.  Congrats Legs.

I prefer to think that with me and three boys I can field a curling team in bonspiels. :scots:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on October 03, 2013, 09:57:57 am
:cheers: Legbiter

With three sons it may seem like you have a strong hand getting involved in blood feuds, but I advise against it nonetheless.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on November 28, 2013, 11:36:33 pm
So my oldest, Timmy, is always excited when I come home.

Today he proudly tells me "Daddy!  This is how I roll!"

as he then rolls around on the floor.

I busted a gut laughing.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on December 28, 2013, 10:14:52 pm
My youngest daughter turned 18 today.  (http://forum.backupot.com/Smileys/default/papy.gif)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 28, 2013, 10:58:10 pm
My youngest daughter turned 18 today.  (http://forum.backupot.com/Smileys/default/papy.gif)

:console:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on December 28, 2013, 11:11:04 pm
My youngest daughter turned 18 today.  (http://forum.backupot.com/Smileys/default/papy.gif)
birthday pics? :unsure:

:P congrats, most, but not all your work is done. Time to relax
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on December 28, 2013, 11:45:39 pm
My youngest daughter turned 18 today.  (http://forum.backupot.com/Smileys/default/papy.gif)
birthday pics? :unsure:

NO!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on December 29, 2013, 12:55:07 am
Perving on the daughter makes Hillary's typing magically improve.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on December 29, 2013, 12:58:18 am
FFS SBR how old are you?








:P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on December 29, 2013, 09:38:15 am
FFS SBR how old are you?








:P

43.  I started a touch early.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on December 29, 2013, 09:52:15 am
Perving on the daughter makes Hillary's typing magically improve.
he cut off the rest of the post. the second part was not as pervy :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on December 29, 2013, 02:27:05 pm
FFS SBR how old are you?








:P

43.  I started a touch early.

25? Not really.

My sis in law will be 44 when her Youngest turns 18. She has 4.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on December 29, 2013, 03:09:37 pm
He said his youngest you French idiot.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on December 29, 2013, 03:36:29 pm
Oh.

Can't read.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 09, 2014, 12:47:15 pm
Little Timmy is signed up for a skating lesson on Saturday - at the community outdoor rink.   :Canuck:

We went and bought him skates and a helmet last weekend.  He was so excited to go skating he actually had a mini-tantrum when I told him we couldn't go (besides no lesson that day, it was -25C).  But next Saturday has a projected high of [email protected] :) 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on January 09, 2014, 12:50:35 pm
How long until you put a stick in his hands?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 09, 2014, 12:53:07 pm
How long until you put a stick in his hands?

He's already had a stick in his hands - in the great Canadian tradition of road hockey. :Canuck:  Which, when dealing with a three year old, just means whacking a ball around.

As to when we put stick and skates together?  Maybe next year if things go well.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on January 09, 2014, 12:55:58 pm
When do you teach him to drop his gloves?  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on January 09, 2014, 01:35:57 pm
When do you teach him to drop his gloves?  :P

Tommy has already been practicing this :D

As ambivalent as she is about other sports, my wife really wants Tommy to play hockey for some reason.  That or tennis.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on January 09, 2014, 01:36:35 pm
Not polo?  :hmm:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on January 09, 2014, 01:37:04 pm
Wait until you see a flying wedge in kids soccer.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 19, 2014, 11:24:22 pm
So we have an invisible friend around our house these days.

His name his Wilbur.  He mostly comes around supper time.  We usually have an empty chair, and Wilbur usually joins us.  Timmy insists that we have to give Wilbur something to eat, like a carrot or piece of broccoli or something.  But sometimes we have to make room for Wilbur on the couch as well.


We've had an extra bed set up in Timmy's room, for Andrew to eventually sleep in.  Well tonight Andrew climbed into that bed himself around bedtime, so we tried to put him to bed there.  No luck.  Between Timmy being excited someone was sleeping in his room, and Andrew climbing out of the bed every 30 seconds, it didn't work.  It was so easy when we first put Timmy into a bed from the crib - he didn't actually realize he could climb out on his own.  In the morning he'd just bellow for us to come and get him out.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on January 20, 2014, 12:14:54 am
As long as Wilbur doesn't start bringing his friend Mr Ed along.

Or starts horribly murdering people. (http://derrange-me-dont-change-me.tumblr.com/post/35057965811/creepy-little-girls-diary-entries-i-think-her) (SFW)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on January 20, 2014, 09:00:35 am
So we have an invisible friend around our house these days.

His name his Wilbur.  He mostly comes around supper time.  We usually have an empty chair, and Wilbur usually joins us.  Timmy insists that we have to give Wilbur something to eat, like a carrot or piece of broccoli or something.  But sometimes we have to make room for Wilbur on the couch as well.


We've had an extra bed set up in Timmy's room, for Andrew to eventually sleep in.  Well tonight Andrew climbed into that bed himself around bedtime, so we tried to put him to bed there.  No luck.  Between Timmy being excited someone was sleeping in his room, and Andrew climbing out of the bed every 30 seconds, it didn't work.  It was so easy when we first put Timmy into a bed from the crib - he didn't actually realize he could climb out on his own.  In the morning he'd just bellow for us to come and get him out.

Sharing rooms sucks. Altho my kids seems to have aclimated to eachother I've decided to cut my (giant) living room in half & build my son a room there.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on February 06, 2014, 05:04:43 am
Any of this familiar?

http://themetapicture.com/why-my-kid-is-crying/
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 07, 2014, 11:47:51 am
So I guess Timmy was watching some show on ancient history and dinosaurs, and one section must have been about Cambrian-era arthropods like trilobites.

Because suddenly instad of wanting to play Dinosaurs, he wanted to play Arthropods.  Except he didn't actually know what an Arthropod was.   :lol:

I told him that a lobster was an arthropod and he seemed happy enough with that, and was going to play at being a lobster.  But he stopped to ask me how many legs they have.  I said 8.  Timmy thought for a second, and declared "well I'm a lobster with two legs!" pointing at his legs.

And then he ran around pinching things like a lobster.


In other news baby Joshua managed to roll over onto his belly for the first time.  Also the second through 10th time.  But of course he only managed to roll himself onto his back again once, and every other time I had to do rescue him from being on his tummy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on February 07, 2014, 12:25:09 pm
How old is young  J now?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 07, 2014, 12:33:40 pm
How old is young  J now?

Coming up on 4 months.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on February 07, 2014, 01:30:04 pm
They grow up so fast, eh.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on February 07, 2014, 04:41:23 pm
How old is young  J now?

Coming up on 4 months.

Is that #2 or #3?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on February 07, 2014, 04:47:08 pm
#2
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 07, 2014, 05:00:42 pm
#2

Incorrect!

#3
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on February 07, 2014, 06:55:03 pm
#2

Incorrect!

#3

Thought so.  What is the age gap from oldest to youngest?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on February 07, 2014, 08:14:37 pm
#2

Incorrect!

#3

You have three kids now?!?!?!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 07, 2014, 08:55:30 pm
#2

Incorrect!

#3

You have three kids now?!?!?!

Yes.   :cool:

Ages 3.5 years, 18 months, 4 months.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tonitrus on February 07, 2014, 09:36:17 pm
#2

Incorrect!

#3

You have three kids now?!?!?!

He wants Canadians to dominate the globe.  :mad:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on February 07, 2014, 09:36:47 pm
#2

Incorrect!

#3

You have three kids now?!?!?!

He wants Canadians to dominate the globe.  :mad:

I will bury him.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on February 07, 2014, 09:55:39 pm
#2

Incorrect!

#3

You have three kids now?!?!?!

Yes.   :cool:

Ages 3.5 years, 18 months, 4 months.
are you sure?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on February 08, 2014, 04:31:30 pm
Here's one for the young parents for the "You Just Wait" file:

So my niece, the 7 year old one, is playing "Truth or Dare" at school with her friends at lunch.  And what does she do?  Walks up and slaps Mommy in the face.

Hell, I wouldn't even do that, maybe not even now.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on February 08, 2014, 04:46:12 pm
WTF
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on February 08, 2014, 05:16:12 pm
That's the perils of:

1) getting older, and
2) hanging out with other peoples' kids.

They're over here this weekend, and I just had a nice, long conversation with her and school--she's at a new school, taking care of some light dyslexia issues--and I stressed to her the importance of doing very, very good in school:  it will make you better than other people, you will have a better life.  After all, Uncle Jay Jay didn't do well in grade school, and because he didn't do good enough to go to the kind of college where all the really important people go, now he's living in Amma and Pop Pop's basement, and you don't want that to happen to you, do you?  "Ewwww, I don't ever want to live in a basement!"  She's such a smart girl.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on February 09, 2014, 01:23:38 pm
Played Diablo 3 with the twins on the PS3 co-op. Vicious little shits when it comes to zapping bad guys with that Cyclops like frost beam thing the wizards have.

All I heard was "ZAP!" as they blasted various creatures. I just mainly watched since I didn't have cool powers.  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 09, 2014, 11:28:37 pm
Went to the monster truck show with Timmy today.

Big, big hit.  From the same kid who I ask every day "so what did you do at school today" and replies "I don't know", when we got home he managed to regale my wife with stories for a good hour about monster trucks, racing quads, transforming robots and his flag (cheap pennant on a stick we bought).

I always wondered (no, not really) exactly who goes to monster truck shows.  Now I know - parents of boys ages 3-9.  I've never seen so many pre-adolescent kids in one place before.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 12, 2014, 01:39:53 pm
Last night the Olympics were on, and they were replaying the medal ceremony when those two sisters won gold and silver.

As the anthem was playing Timmy looks up from whatever he is playing and says "I like this song".  :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on February 12, 2014, 01:57:47 pm
:cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Capetan Mihali on February 12, 2014, 07:19:25 pm
Last night the Olympics were on, and they were replaying the medal ceremony when those two sisters won gold and silver.

As the anthem was playing Timmy looks up from whatever he is playing and says "I like this song".  :cool:

:weep: :Canuck:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 18, 2014, 02:04:34 pm
Went to my in-laws place on Sunday (in Alberta it was the Family Day long weekend).  The small town they live in was having a free skate at the local rink, so I took mine and Timmy's skates.

Now I've taken Timmy to two skating lessons, and each went badly.  Timmy was too afraid to get on the ice, being afraid he'd fall.  But when we get there, they had a thing that the kid can lean on to support himself as he learns to skate.  Kind of like a walker for ice.

Timmy grabbed that thing and took right to it.  He must've been skating around for over an hour.  Lots of other little kids (and even bigger kids) came on and off, but Timmy wanted to keep skating.

Then, he saw his older cousin and two uncles were playing hockey.  I found him a stick, but told him he couldn't use his little support.  So he still went out there and, though he fell a bunch of times, would get back up and hit a puck around a few times.   :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on February 18, 2014, 02:06:49 pm
So it begins.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on February 18, 2014, 02:12:47 pm
Get dental coverage now.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on February 18, 2014, 02:13:21 pm
he he
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on February 26, 2014, 09:58:58 pm
The twins were poking through my disorganized library of books and Cassandra wants to read my books now. None of that Scholastic crap for her. She picked up the Elric omnibus.  :wacko:

Luckily, I talked her out of that one.  :showoff:

Maybe a D&D novel. Some of those seem like they was written by a 6 year old.  :homestar:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on February 26, 2014, 10:00:40 pm
Maybe a D&D novel. Some of those seem like they was written by a 6 year old.  :homestar:

I don't know.  They might already be too sophisticated for Tasslehoff Burrfoot.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on February 26, 2014, 10:04:29 pm
 :lol:

I got this old book of warships with nice color drawings, and they like that. They also like the 70’s era book on Soviet military equipment.

I've never been prouder.  :cry:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 26, 2014, 11:50:03 pm
So Timmy has his best buddy from pre-school over for a sleepover tonight - Angus.

Anytime you get pre-schoolers together, you should expect some problems.  Tonight we had a major issue with not sharing Transformers Rescuebots (pre-school edition) - they both have Optimus Prime and Bumblebee, but only Timmy has Boulder and Blades.  I tried to get them to share, but no doing - they both wanted to play with all of them.  So I took them away, which led to a meltdown on both ends. :rolleyes:

But when dealing with preschoolers, these things shall pass.  A little while later, and I see Timmy and Angus are plating together just fine.  Timmy is being Santa Claus, and Angus is being his elf.  They sit on this little toddler couch as their sleigh, they steer it around, then they get out and deliver toys to all their little pre-school friends.  Then at the end they get out again at the North Pole. :lol:

Then I put them to bed.  Timmy's little brother Andrew has his own bed in Timmy's room, but when we tried to put him to sleep there he really fought it - so we're on a break from that, and thus Angus gets to sleep in that bed.  So we put them both to bed, I read them some stories (Robert Munsch FTW!), and put them to bed.

I go back in a half hour later, and yes - both of them are sleeping.  However, both of them are sleeping in the same bed, under the covers. :lol:

Yes - if Timmy turns out to be gay I'll take this as a warning sign, and it won't really matter anyways.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 25, 2014, 12:01:03 pm
A couple weeks ago Tim comes up to me, gives me a big hug and says "I love you daddy because you always protect me from bears". :lol:


Now an Andrew story.  At 20 months, he's a man of few words - He knows mommy, daddy, baby, me (pointing at himself), puppy, nana (banana).  Not a lot, but he makes the most of those words.  We can have entire conversations, where I say something, he responds "daddy!", I say something, he again goes "daddy!".

And for not knowing a lot of words, he sure understands a lot.  I can say "Andrew do you want to go outside", to which he'll run to the front door, point outside, and if he think I'm moving too slow will start grabbing his toque and boots over to me to put on him. :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on April 16, 2014, 09:42:35 am
The Twins left me a note. They would like a Wii U. NOW.

Their grammar was more gooder than Tim's.

I plan on berating their choice of gaming system. N00bs.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 16, 2014, 09:59:20 am
The other day Timmy wet the bad <_< (our fault for giving him water to drink right before bed), then because it was easier we just let him crawl into our bed to finish sleeping.

I wake up and shower, then because it's still early and Timmy is still sleeping I climb back into bed while Mrs. B gets in the shower.  My alarm goes off again, and now Timmy wakes up.

He sees me, gives me a big hug and says "I love you daddy". :wub:

Then, without missing a beat, he says "What's taking my milk and my gummy* so long"?  :mad:


*his chewable vitamin
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on April 16, 2014, 10:02:51 am
:lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 18, 2014, 08:36:53 am
Conversation with Timmy this morning:

Tim: Is today Easter?
Me: Well, yes.  Today we remember when Jesus died on the cross, and then on Sunday we remember when he came back to life.
Tim: He came back to life?
Me: Yes.
Tim: Well, who gave him Easter eggs?

:lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on April 18, 2014, 08:53:38 am
The eggs remind us of the eggs the crowd threw at Jesus as he was going to be crucified and the chocolate bunnies are brown, representing the wood of the cross.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 09, 2014, 08:21:59 pm
One of the twins decided yesterday to punch me in the back of my left leg.

MAH MUSCLE.

Little fucker can punch. I got the most wicked bruise and I need painkillers stat.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tonitrus on May 09, 2014, 08:46:31 pm
One of the twins decided yesterday to punch me in the back of my left leg.

MAH MUSCLE.

Little fucker can punch. I got the most wicked bruise and I need painkillers stat.

And so the uprising begins...

They'll be annexing some kind of Crimea next.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 09, 2014, 08:48:10 pm
They really want a Wii U.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 28, 2014, 09:37:03 am
Yesterday at bath time I decided baby Joshua is big enough that he could go in the bath with his two brothers.  And sure enough he was fine - he's a champion sitter at this point.

Little Timmy looks at him and his two brothers, and makes this announcement: "Daddy, I have a big peepee, Andrew has a medium peepee, and Joshua has a little peepee".

Then he looks at me and goes "And daddy you have a HUGE peepee!".  :lol: :blush:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 09:38:15 am
Do you bath your kids naked or something?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 28, 2014, 09:43:48 am
Do you bath your kids naked or something?

I'll usually take my shirt off to avoid it getting wet, but otherwise no.

He has seen me naked before though.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 28, 2014, 09:49:27 am
Ariel calls genital area "Intimité"

I am responsible for that.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 09:52:34 am
Henry had his first big two year old temper tantrum at age 22 months.  It was an epic battle to get him to eat his green beans.  This went on for quite some time with me trying to get him to eat them and him screaming 'no' and calling for mommy until my wife just walked up, grabbed the beans, and jammed them in his mouth.  Then I had to stop him from spitting them out.  Using physical force seems like cheating  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 28, 2014, 09:59:57 am
You have levels of tolerance miles above mine.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 28, 2014, 11:19:23 am
Henry had his first big two year old temper tantrum at age 22 months.  It was an epic battle to get him to eat his green beans.  This went on for quite some time with me trying to get him to eat them and him screaming 'no' and calling for mommy until my wife just walked up, grabbed the beans, and jammed them in his mouth.  Then I had to stop him from spitting them out.  Using physical force seems like cheating  :(

I don't like to second guess other parent's strategies, but that doesn't sound like a good one...
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 28, 2014, 11:21:35 am
What would you have done?  Leave him alone till he eats them?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 28, 2014, 11:31:27 am
What would you have done?  Leave him alone till he eats them?

What we try to do is not make a big deal about it.  If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat - but he doesn't get anything else either.  They also have to sit at the table with us, even if not eating.

Which has led to my kids coming back to their supper an hour or two later to finish eating.  But the basic idea is to avoid making it a power struggle.

We tried the "you're not leaving the table until you finish your supper".  Damn kid sat there for two hours.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 28, 2014, 12:32:40 pm
  Using physical force seems like cheating  :(

If you are using physical force on your children to make them do what you want, you probably want to rethink your strategy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 28, 2014, 12:41:40 pm
I use the It's ok if you don't want to eat anymore but the next time you eat will be tomorrow morning at breakfast strategy.

It works fairly well.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 28, 2014, 01:04:31 pm
I use the It's ok if you don't want to eat anymore but the next time you eat will be tomorrow morning at breakfast strategy.

It works fairly well.

That was my plan of action. It worked great... until the boys realized we had a pantry filled with foods they liked... and we slept at night.

The padlock went on the pantry when we found all of the empty cheesy cracker wrappings stuffed behind the flour.  :glare:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 28, 2014, 01:09:12 pm
I use the It's ok if you don't want to eat anymore but the next time you eat will be tomorrow morning at breakfast strategy.

It works fairly well.

That was my plan of action. It worked great... until the boys realized we had a pantry filled with foods they liked... and we slept at night.

The padlock went on the pantry when we found all of the empty cheesy cracker wrappings stuffed behind the flour.  :glare:

How old were they when that happened?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 01:30:37 pm
What would you have done?  Leave him alone till he eats them?

That was my plan :P

I just thought it was funny.  You guys are such weenies.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 01:34:26 pm
  Using physical force seems like cheating  :(

If you are using physical force on your children to make them do what you want, you probably want to rethink your strategy.

I never use force, unless there is a safety issue -_- My strategy is to bore them to death.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 01:42:01 pm
What would you have done?  Leave him alone till he eats them?

What we try to do is not make a big deal about it.  If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat - but he doesn't get anything else either.  They also have to sit at the table with us, even if not eating.

Which has led to my kids coming back to their supper an hour or two later to finish eating.  But the basic idea is to avoid making it a power struggle.

We tried the "you're not leaving the table until you finish your supper".  Damn kid sat there for two hours.

This is exactly what we do.  But I never gave the context of the tantrum, because it was an anecdotal story.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 28, 2014, 01:43:13 pm
I use the It's ok if you don't want to eat anymore but the next time you eat will be tomorrow morning at breakfast strategy.

It works fairly well.

That was my plan of action. It worked great... until the boys realized we had a pantry filled with foods they liked... and we slept at night.

The padlock went on the pantry when we found all of the empty cheesy cracker wrappings stuffed behind the flour.  :glare:

 :lol:

The trick, I'm led to believe, is too serve them their supper again for breakfast, lunch, etc until they eat it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 01:44:30 pm
:lol:

The trick, I'm led to believe, is too serve them their supper again for breakfast, lunch, etc until they eat it.

That sounds like a big bother.  I have to do the dishes sometime.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 28, 2014, 01:48:36 pm
Forming healthy eating habits is a damn big bother, I agree.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 01:57:32 pm
Forming healthy eating habits is a damn big bother, I agree.

Fortunately as an American I just have to prevent them from weighing north of 300 to consider myself successful.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 28, 2014, 02:00:06 pm
As a Canadian, I get to pick either American or European standards.

Picking American standards, makes life much easier.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 28, 2014, 02:02:17 pm
I dont know why you guys insist on making them eat.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 28, 2014, 02:06:13 pm
I use the It's ok if you don't want to eat anymore but the next time you eat will be tomorrow morning at breakfast strategy.

It works fairly well.

That was my plan of action. It worked great... until the boys realized we had a pantry filled with foods they liked... and we slept at night.

The padlock went on the pantry when we found all of the empty cheesy cracker wrappings stuffed behind the flour.  :glare:

How old were they when that happened?

3
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 02:08:07 pm
3

That is totally something David would do.  He thinks he is so smart it is adorable.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 28, 2014, 02:11:18 pm
I use the It's ok if you don't want to eat anymore but the next time you eat will be tomorrow morning at breakfast strategy.

It works fairly well.

That was my plan of action. It worked great... until the boys realized we had a pantry filled with foods they liked... and we slept at night.

The padlock went on the pantry when we found all of the empty cheesy cracker wrappings stuffed behind the flour.  :glare:

How old were they when that happened?

3

Oy vey.

Timmy's turning 4 on Saturday and has never come close to such a trick.  He's a pretty sound sleeper though.  The only problem these days is if he does wake up in the middle of the night he just comes and crawls into our bed. <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 28, 2014, 02:11:40 pm

 :lol:

The trick, I'm led to believe, is too serve them their supper again for breakfast, lunch, etc until they eat it.

I never bothered with that. I made one meal per meal time. They could eat it or not. Up to them. If not, they didn't get dessert, nor anything else to eat until the next mealtime. No exceptions.

Mind you, I also subscribe to the belief that kids won't starve themselves, and eventually, they're going to eat something. I also made a concerted effort to make foods that were good for them and that they'd eat. If they didn't like green beans but I wanted to make them for dinner, I would make sure there were raw carrots on the plate, too, so they could skip the green beans and still get something healthy and tasty.

I was also a master at renaming foods to make them something interesting. For instance, green beans were submarine boats (we had green army men and boats and the green beans looked kind of like those), so the boys loved them. Eggs and toast - cut a circle out of the center of the bread, cook the egg in the center of the bread, call it a Pirate's Eye, and call it a day. Goulash became American Mix. ("You're an American, aren't you? Oh, then you should really try this. It's made just for Americans.")

Meals were rarely a battle, and my kids will try just about anything. Not one of them is a picky eater now.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 28, 2014, 02:12:48 pm
Sounds like you cribbed from A Tree Grows. :smarty:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 28, 2014, 02:13:41 pm
Oy vey.

Timmy's turning 4 on Saturday and has never come close to such a trick.  He's a pretty sound sleeper though.  The only problem these days is if he does wake up in the middle of the night he just comes and crawls into our bed. <_<

Remember that I had two at once. What one didn't think of, the other did.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 28, 2014, 02:14:09 pm
Sounds like you cribbed from A Tree Grows. :smarty:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn? :unsure:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 28, 2014, 02:17:43 pm
I also made a concerted effort to make foods that were good for them and that they'd eat. If they didn't like green beans but I wanted to make them for dinner, I would make sure there were raw carrots on the plate, too, so they could skip the green beans and still get something healthy and tasty.

I was also a master at renaming foods to make them something interesting. For instance, green beans were submarine boats (we had green army men and boats and the green beans looked kind of like those), so the boys loved them. Eggs and toast - cut a circle out of the center of the bread, cook the egg in the center of the bread, call it a Pirate's Eye, and call it a day. Goulash became American Mix. ("You're an American, aren't you? Oh, then you should really try this. It's made just for Americans.")

Meals were rarely a battle, and my kids will try just about anything. Not one of them is a picky eater now.

Yeah, thats pretty much what we did.  I think all kids go through picky stages.  The trick is to get through that without getting involved in power struggles and drama. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 28, 2014, 02:21:39 pm
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn? :unsure:

Yeah.  Her mom made up names for food too.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 28, 2014, 02:22:53 pm
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn? :unsure:

Yeah.  Her mom made up names for food too.

Is there a parent that hasnt done that? 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 28, 2014, 02:23:04 pm
Just to clarify I was not trying to make Henry eat anything.  He wanted some brownies and I said he could have some if he ate some of his beans.  He just could have walked away from the Brownies at any time.  But no!  Battle Royal ensued and it was funny.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 28, 2014, 02:25:02 pm
Just to clarify I was not trying to make Henry eat anything.  He wanted some brownies and I said he could have some if he ate some of his beans.  He just could have walked away from the Brownies at any time.  But no!  Battle Royal ensued and it was funny.

Was it worth the fight?

If the family is having brownies then the kid should have them too.  The difference between you and the kid is that nobody is making you eat stuff you hate before you have desert ;)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 28, 2014, 02:29:00 pm
Just to clarify I was not trying to make Henry eat anything.  He wanted some brownies and I said he could have some if he ate some of his beans.  He just could have walked away from the Brownies at any time.  But no!  Battle Royal ensued and it was funny.

Hehe... Yeah... been there, done that. I'm fairly sure no one is the worse for wear, and it'll be a great story to tell around the kitchen table when he brings his first girlfriend around. :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 28, 2014, 05:41:55 pm
I starve my kids. They steal from the neighbors.

God help them if they get caught though.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 28, 2014, 05:47:48 pm
I starve my kids. They steal from the neighbors.

God help them if they get caught though.

But you are raising a phalanx of Spartans.  Not everyone can field that kind of manpower.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 28, 2014, 05:48:56 pm
 ^_^

The Gallic legion is forming soon.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 10:16:20 am
The twins are formally promoted to 1st Grade next year :)

They might get that Wii U they want. Gaming n00bs.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 29, 2014, 10:39:24 am
(http://vgboxart.com/boxes/WiiU/49132-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic.png?t=1355074442)

I hope its fun Ed
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 29, 2014, 10:42:35 am
What's the "U" supposed to indicate?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 10:42:52 am
Oh dear god. Pray for me.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 29, 2014, 10:59:33 am
What's the "U" supposed to indicate?

The current console that succeeded the Wii (though it has not exactly been a success, per se).
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 29, 2014, 11:08:20 am
What's the "U" supposed to indicate?

No idea, I think it is supposed to be nonsensical.

Or maybe it stands for Wisconsin International University.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 29, 2014, 12:16:40 pm
What's the "U" supposed to indicate?

No one knows.

Stupid Nintendo should have called it Wii 2.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 29, 2014, 12:56:14 pm
The twins are formally promoted to 1st Grade next year :)

They might get that Wii U they want. Gaming n00bs.  :rolleyes:

Tommy starts 1st grade next year.  We have a "graduation" thing for his kindergarten class tomorrow, the concept of which annoys me to no end.

Oh, and I put an Xbox 360 in his room, mainly for him & me to watch Netflix and for him to play his Lego games.  Made the mistake of buying him that new Plants Vs. Zombies game, not knowing it was an online-only FPS.  The good news is that practically everyone else who plays that game sounds like they're also about his age.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 29, 2014, 12:59:49 pm
Tommy starts 1st grade next year.  We have a "graduation" thing for his kindergarten class tomorrow, the concept of which annoys me to no end.

I had one for Kindergarten, I had one for third grade (because my school went from 1st to 3rd), and then another for fifth grade.  I was getting pretty good at graduating by the time I was a Senior in HS.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 29, 2014, 01:08:01 pm
So you have both a tv and an xbox in the bedroom of a kid in kindergarten?  Shouldnt you be helping him to make better choices regarding how to use his time?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 29, 2014, 01:10:23 pm
Tommy starts 1st grade next year.  We have a "graduation" thing for his kindergarten class tomorrow, the concept of which annoys me to no end.

I had one for Kindergarten, I had one for third grade (because my school went from 1st to 3rd), and then another for fifth grade.  I was getting pretty good at graduating by the time I was a Senior in HS.

Growing up we had school K-8 and 9-12.

I was pissed off we never had a grade 8 grad.  In some ways it would have been more meaningful for me than my highschool grad - I'd been with that group of kids for much longer.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 29, 2014, 01:17:39 pm
Any graduation ceremony before high school graduation was unheard of where I grew up.  I remember when I was in second grade seeing pictures of my cousin in Florida wearing a cap & gown for his Kindergarten graduation.  I almost started to feel jealous until it dawned on my how ridiculous that concept was. 

Was also baffled by the people at my high school graduation acting like they actually accomplished something.  It's one thing to mark it as a rite of passage, but FFS high school was not hard.  You pretty much had to show up most days and you'd graduate.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 29, 2014, 01:21:38 pm
Was also baffled by the people at my high school graduation acting like they actually accomplished something.  It's one thing to mark it as a rite of passage, but FFS high school was not hard.  You pretty much had to show up most days and you'd graduate.

For some kids showing up most days is an accomplishment.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 29, 2014, 01:44:03 pm
Heh I knew plenty of people who worked their asses off to pass standardized tests and their classes to graduate.  Some people are just not very smart.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: 11B4V on May 29, 2014, 05:07:02 pm
Tommy starts 1st grade next year.  We have a "graduation" thing for his kindergarten class tomorrow, the concept of which annoys me to no end.

I had one for Kindergarten, I had one for third grade (because my school went from 1st to 3rd), and then another for fifth grade.  I was getting pretty good at graduating by the time I was a Senior in HS.

Growing up we had school K-8 and 9-12.

I was pissed off we never had a grade 8 grad.  In some ways it would have been more meaningful for me than my highschool grad - I'd been with that group of kids for much longer.

Interesting, we had;
K-6 elementary
7-8 junior high
9-12 high school
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on May 29, 2014, 05:32:18 pm
Tommy starts 1st grade next year.  We have a "graduation" thing for his kindergarten class tomorrow, the concept of which annoys me to no end.

I had one for Kindergarten, I had one for third grade (because my school went from 1st to 3rd), and then another for fifth grade.  I was getting pretty good at graduating by the time I was a Senior in HS.

Growing up we had school K-8 and 9-12.

I was pissed off we never had a grade 8 grad.  In some ways it would have been more meaningful for me than my highschool grad - I'd been with that group of kids for much longer.

Interesting, we had;
K-6 elementary
7-8 junior high
9-12 high school

for me it was k-7 and 8-12
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on May 29, 2014, 06:14:32 pm
We had K-5, 6-8, 8-12.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: The Brain on May 29, 2014, 06:17:26 pm
K-9 here.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 06:23:54 pm
The twins are formally promoted to 1st Grade next year :)

They might get that Wii U they want. Gaming n00bs.  :rolleyes:

Tommy starts 1st grade next year.  We have a "graduation" thing for his kindergarten class tomorrow, the concept of which annoys me to no end.

Oh, and I put an Xbox 360 in his room, mainly for him & me to watch Netflix and for him to play his Lego games.  Made the mistake of buying him that new Plants Vs. Zombies game, not knowing it was an online-only FPS.  The good news is that practically everyone else who plays that game sounds like they're also about his age.

Sorry.  :blush:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 29, 2014, 09:16:58 pm
:lol:

The trick, I'm led to believe, is too serve them their supper again for breakfast, lunch, etc until they eat it.

Yeah, Mom tried that gambit too, until I figured out I could vomit it up in one of those crying frenzies, the kind where you're crying so hard you start choking and gagging.

Knocked that shit off right there.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 29, 2014, 09:21:38 pm
Any graduation ceremony before high school graduation was unheard of where I grew up.  I remember when I was in second grade seeing pictures of my cousin in Florida wearing a cap & gown for his Kindergarten graduation.  I almost started to feel jealous until it dawned on my how ridiculous that concept was.

We had a little event at the end of 6th grade since we were leaving the elementary school, but it wasn't to the degree some of these productions are now.   

Quote
Was also baffled by the people at my high school graduation acting like they actually accomplished something.  It's one thing to mark it as a rite of passage, but FFS high school was not hard.  You pretty much had to show up most days and you'd graduate.

I don't think I flipped the bird so many times in one day as I did at high school graduation.  So glad to get out of that fucking zoo and away from all that bullshit and those bullshitters.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 09:26:34 pm
I didn't go to graduation. In fact, it took me 6 months to drag my ass to the school to pick up my diploma.

Fuck them and their stupid cap and gowns.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 29, 2014, 09:36:11 pm
I didn't go to graduation. In fact, it took me 6 months to drag my ass to the school to pick up my diploma.

Fuck them and their stupid cap and gowns.

I tried that angle at high school, but the parental units didn't make it an option.  College, well, that was my option.  Sold those tickets at a real nice margin.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 09:39:25 pm
I also hadn't had a school picture since 6th grade. Or bought a yearbook or class ring.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on May 29, 2014, 09:43:24 pm
Max, Jackson, and Carter all tried the "I don't want to walk the stage" with me. :mad:

Jeremy was smart enough not to bother trying it. :sleep:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 09:44:32 pm
Good job Max. I take your man card away.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 29, 2014, 09:44:51 pm
Shit, I bought a class ring and promptly turned it over to the girlfriend.  Because That Was The Right Thing To Do.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 09:47:17 pm
Ugh. Bitches got jack shit from me.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 29, 2014, 10:01:24 pm
I was there in her basement, banging the shit out of her and operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct for a sexually active teenager.
Felt it was the least I could do.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 29, 2014, 10:07:30 pm
How sentemental.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 29, 2014, 10:09:03 pm
Can't be said I didn't treat my women well.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2014, 09:25:40 am
Baby Josh pulled himself up to standing last night.

He's just past seven months old.   :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 30, 2014, 10:59:11 am
:cool:

Tomorrow is a big day!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2014, 11:06:34 am
:cool:

Tomorrow is a big day!

You remembered Timmy's birthday! :hug:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 30, 2014, 11:10:55 am
Yes. 4 years old!

Does he starts school in the fall?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2014, 11:24:58 am
Yes. 4 years old!

Does he starts school in the fall?

No, next year.  He'll continue with pre-school next year.  Which is probably for the best - I'd rather him be one of the older kids, than one of the youngest.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 30, 2014, 11:31:19 am
:yes:

Ariel, surprisingly, turns 3 tomorrow.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 30, 2014, 11:34:28 am
:yes:

Ariel, surprisingly, turns 3 tomorrow.

Ariel is very blessed - she shares a birthday with the Winnipeg Jets. :hug:

(which reminds me - it's nearly time for a certain annual bump... :shifty:)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on May 30, 2014, 11:39:33 am
That was a big day, yes.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on May 30, 2014, 11:53:32 pm
:yes:

Ariel, surprisingly, turns 3 tomorrow.

Ariel is very blessed - she shares a birthday with the Winnipeg Jets. :hug:

(which reminds me - it's nearly time for a certain annual bump... :shifty:)

There was a guy on my previous commute from the old apartment who was wearing a Jets cap every morning.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 31, 2014, 09:34:18 am
:yes:

Ariel, surprisingly, turns 3 tomorrow.

Ariel is very blessed - she shares a birthday with the Winnipeg Jets. :hug:

(which reminds me - it's nearly time for a certain annual bump... :shifty:)

There was a guy on my previous commute from the old apartment who was wearing a Jets cap every morning.

We're everywhere. :ph34r:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: alfred russel on May 31, 2014, 11:06:50 am
:yes:

Ariel, surprisingly, turns 3 tomorrow.

Ariel is very blessed - she shares a birthday with the Winnipeg Jets. :hug:

(which reminds me - it's nearly time for a certain annual bump... :shifty:)

There was a guy on my previous commute from the old apartment who was wearing a Jets cap every morning.

We're everywhere. :ph34r:

You're not here. Thieves.  :mad:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on June 06, 2014, 12:07:54 am
My oldest daughter is 20 and is going to school in Seattle.

My youngest daughter graduates high school tomorrow, and has no plans other than continue working where she is and going to community college.

Tonight they informed that the youngest in probably going to move to Seattle with her sister in August, live with her sister and 2 other roommates, and go to CC and work up there.

They asked me how I felt about it.   <_< :angry: :yeah: :yeahright: :bash:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on June 06, 2014, 10:13:56 am
What sort of trouble could she get into in Seattle? :goodboy:

Henry had a sore throat last evening but felt compelled to do things that made him giggle all night, which would set him coughing and hurt his throat.  I had to watch my son constantly engage in activity that led to his own destruction  :(

They both started a new school this week.  The teachers continuously praise David.  I am never sure if my kids are actually as awesome as I think they are, or if I just think so because I am their dad.  And to be fair I do not hang out with very many other three year olds.  So that was nice to hear.   :showoff:

Henry is having a rough start but the last school he had been going to since he was six weeks old until a week ago.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 13, 2014, 10:47:48 pm
Timmy, Andrew, and Timmy's friend Angus are all camped out tonight in my old tent in our basement.  They're just giggling away, not sleeping, having an awesome time.

Sometimes I wish I was four again. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on June 13, 2014, 10:49:13 pm
My oldest daughter is 20 and is going to school in Seattle.

Heh, my boss is sending his kid to Seattle for school this fall.  Of course, he's a little stoner, but that's to be expected.  No, not the boss, the kid.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on June 13, 2014, 10:50:53 pm
Sometimes I wish I was four again. :(

Yeah, I know how you feel.  Life was the best right up to when I hit 7.

But the one comfort I can take in starting my life over again at 43 is that it's not going to take as long this time around.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on June 21, 2014, 11:00:52 am
Words cannot adequately describe my joy when David lines up all his transformers and says 'Autobots roll out!'

It is like it is 1984 again  :cry:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on June 21, 2014, 01:54:17 pm
Poor kid. Star Scream is cooler.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 30, 2014, 01:17:49 pm
Words cannot adequately describe my joy when David lines up all his transformers and says 'Autobots roll out!'

It is like it is 1984 again  :cry:

My boys love their transformer toys.

But they're all based on the cartoon Transformers: Rescue Bots, and these particular toys are all made for pre-schoolers with a stated age range of 3 and up.  They "transform" with one or two very simple actions.

My mother in law knows that the boys love transformers, but they also love dinosaurs.  So when she saw some transformer dinosaurs at the store, she got each of the two boys one.

Trouble is that these are NOT made for pre-schoolers, but have a stated age range of 8 and up.  The instructions to transform them have 16 separate steps!  If I spend several minutes at it I can manage to transform each one, but of course the boys soon want them transformed into the other form.

So much of my Sunday was spent dealing with pleas to transform their bots.

I think these toys are going to get recalled to Cybertron very quickly. <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on June 30, 2014, 04:57:38 pm
Beeb gives up. What a quitter.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 02, 2014, 09:41:45 am
A two-fer, both involving Timmy.

-The other night at supper was all about "silly words".  Timmy would say - I know a silly word - dinosaurpancake!  elephantchair!  And so on and so forth - combaining two unrelated words together, and then giggling about it.

-I was outside with Timmy in our cul-de-sac, when the neighbor kid also came out, together with some other kids that had come over to play.  They're east indian of some sort or another, and they brought out a cricket bat and a tennis ball.  Timmy was fascinated by this, so the neighbor kids (ages around 10 or so, compared to Timmy at 4) invited him over to try and play with them.  About all he could do was run to retreive lost balls, but they did at one point try and show him how to use the cricket bat.


Baby Josh is doing great - first teeth just startted popping out, and he's taking more and more steps on his own.  He can do up to a half dozen or so, and can remain standing still a really long time.  Pretty good for 10 months.


And Andrew is going to be our "special little guy" I think (he's the one pictured in my avatar with the orange bear toque and moustache soother).  He's super funny, but not in a way that breaks down into amusing little Languish anecdotes.  He just has his own little way of doing everything, and doesn't much care how others are doing it (except, of course, for the times he slavishly copies whatever big brother Tim is doing).
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on September 02, 2014, 10:01:45 am
And Andrew is going to be our "special little guy" I think (he's the one pictured in my avatar with the orange bear toque and moustache soother).  He's super funny, but not in a way that breaks down into amusing little Languish anecdotes.  He just has his own little way of doing everything, and doesn't much care how others are doing it (except, of course, for the times he slavishly copies whatever big brother Tim is doing).

That sounds sort of like my second kid Henry.  Maybe it is a second kid thing :hmm: or maybe our genes are continuing to be freakily identical.  David just puts the word 'poopie' on everything to make it funny.  'Here is your dinner David' 'it's a poopie-dinner!' *laughs uproariously*
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: alfred russel on September 02, 2014, 10:05:35 am
David just puts the word 'poopie' on everything to make it funny.  'Here is your dinner David' 'it's a poopie-dinner!' *laughs uproariously*

Sounds like he is ready to join languish.   :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on September 02, 2014, 01:32:34 pm
David just puts the word 'poopie' on everything to make it funny.  'Here is your dinner David' 'it's a poopie-dinner!' *laughs uproariously*

Sounds like he is ready to join languish.   :lol:

He can be Ed Anger's understudy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 02, 2014, 07:38:51 pm
I'll have him telling Polack jokes in 3 days.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on September 03, 2014, 10:50:59 am
I'll have him telling Polack jokes in 3 days.

That's poopie-Polacks.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 03, 2014, 10:53:10 am
That sounds sort of like my second kid Henry.  Maybe it is a second kid thing :hmm: or maybe our genes are continuing to be freakily identical.  David just puts the word 'poopie' on everything to make it funny.  'Here is your dinner David' 'it's a poopie-dinner!' *laughs uproariously*

Seems like a general boy thing to me.  They just like being (or talking) gross.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 03, 2014, 11:03:45 am
My best friend's 4-year old kid has made up a guy called "The Poopie Man" who is apparently responsible for a lot of misdeeds.

And this is the same kid who tells oddly vivid stories about "past lives" where he had a family, a job, etc. and tells you about how he died.  And he's obsessed with New York City-- even though he's never been there before he'll tell you all about it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: The Brain on September 03, 2014, 11:14:27 am
And this is the same kid who tells oddly vivid stories about "past lives" where he had a family, a job, etc. and tells you about how he died. 

You're thinking of CdM.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 03, 2014, 02:49:30 pm
:abrahamsimpson:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 08, 2014, 11:52:47 am
So Timmy is struggling to tell us how much he loves his mom and dad.  Multiple times per day, he'll come up to one of us and say "I love you more than all the animals and plants and tractors in the world!", or some various combination of things that don't compare to his love for mommy and daddy. :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 27, 2014, 07:42:18 pm
So my niece was having a surprise birthday party at the new megaplex; my sister invited me but I declined, since it's a time for her and her friends.

Besides, at 11, she's getting to the age where the single, childless bachelor uncle hanging out at the events is going to start freaking out all the other kids' soccer moms. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tonitrus on September 27, 2014, 07:53:03 pm
What about the single soccer moms?  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on September 27, 2014, 07:54:22 pm
WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHARE OF THE CAKE?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 27, 2014, 07:56:02 pm
What about the single soccer moms?  :(

 :lol: The circles my sister travels in, there are none.  Everybody is a clone, the only difference is which luxury SUV brand they're driving.

Besides, I never mess with single moms.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 27, 2014, 07:57:07 pm
WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHARE OF THE CAKE?

This is Yi's America;  I don't get any.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on September 27, 2014, 09:04:18 pm
What about the single soccer moms?  :(

 :lol: The circles my sister travels in, there are none.  Everybody is a clone, the only difference is which luxury SUV brand they're driving.

Besides, I never mess with single moms.
So married moms are ok, but not single ones? Your rule book is weird :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 27, 2014, 09:35:54 pm
No, no married moms.  No children. :leon:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 07, 2014, 05:51:31 pm
After hearing the musical crap the twins have been exposed to, I am conducting a musical scorched earth campaign.

They are on a regimen of Alice in Chains, Early Van Halen, Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd and Queens of the Stone Age.

Early results are promising, since they were exposed to AiC early. Further updates as the war continues.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on November 07, 2014, 06:12:15 pm
Jethro Tull?  What the fuck.  There's no flutes in rock music, dumbass.  Might as well play some Joan Baez.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 07, 2014, 06:14:12 pm
Jethro Tull?  What the fuck.  There's no flutes in rock music, dumbass.  Might as well play some Joan Baez.

Go back to putting bows on your cat.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on November 07, 2014, 06:15:48 pm
Go back to putting bows on your cat.

She went as Princess Leia this Halloween.  Not cokehead bikini ROTJ Leia, but danishes-strapped-to-the-head Episode IV Leia.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on November 07, 2014, 06:25:14 pm
(http://cf.geekdo-images.com/images/pic2298952.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on November 07, 2014, 06:29:16 pm
How many pairs of your shoes had urine in them the next day?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on November 07, 2014, 06:31:19 pm
Shaking the jar of Pounce always makes the abuse go away.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 07, 2014, 06:31:45 pm
(http://cf.geekdo-images.com/images/pic2298952.jpg)

If looks could kill.....
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on November 07, 2014, 06:33:51 pm
Yeah, you see those ears?  That's for when she's about to go supersonic. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 07, 2014, 06:35:05 pm
Like an F-111.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on November 12, 2014, 09:24:24 pm
Do you ever just go watch your kids sleep?

Am I weird for that?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on November 12, 2014, 09:25:13 pm
Depends on how old they are mostly.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on November 12, 2014, 09:29:43 pm
16months & 3˝ years old.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on November 12, 2014, 09:37:33 pm
Do you ever just go watch your kids sleep?

Am I weird for that?

It's the only time they're still enough to actually look at them.

So no.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on November 12, 2014, 09:46:56 pm
I did a bit when they were very tiny, but my oldest slept about as soundly as I do.  When ever you got within a foot or two of the bedroom door she would wake up and resist going back to sleep. 

That broke me of the habit pretty quick, though I can understand why someone would.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on November 12, 2014, 10:00:19 pm
Do you ever just go watch your kids sleep?

Am I weird for that?

Not weird at all. Kids and dogs are perfect angels when they sleep.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on November 13, 2014, 09:48:44 am
Do you ever just go watch your kids sleep?

Am I weird for that?

I still do - he's so beautiful when he sleeps!

When he was a tiny baby, used to sneak in to make sure he was still breathing - that's a first-child-parent-fear thing, I think.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 22, 2014, 07:48:15 pm
In bad parenting news, Cassandra asked if she could play Space Marine on the PS3. I said yes.

She made chainsaw noises as she was chopping up Orks. Next up, Chaos worship at Sunday school.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on November 23, 2014, 12:31:11 am
So with Christmas coming up, there have been lots of questions of the boys about what they'd like for Christmas.

For some reason... Timmy's answer is "a rocketship".

What seems so very depressing to me though is that nobody makes toy rocketships these days.  We're sruggling to find something - the best we can do is a toy spaceshuttle, but I feel bad since that's nearly 40 year old technology.

What is the next generation going to dream of if there are no more toy rocketships?  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on November 23, 2014, 12:59:50 am
I had a Matchbox Space Shuttle that opened the cargo bay to show the (then new) SkyLab inside.

But yeah, modern space exploration doesn't lend itself to toys, because there's nothing too flashy going on. A Hubble Space Telescope, as awesome as it is, doesn't make for a great toy.


How about this? http://www.amazon.com/Rocket-Ship-Adventure-working-elevator/dp/B002UD26HA
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 23, 2014, 08:18:28 am
There is always Lego Star Wars. The star destroyer is cool.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on November 23, 2014, 09:53:20 am
This looks like a cracking toy, think a mate of mine had it back in the day :

http://www.vintage-toys-for-sale.com/toys/classified/2015?imgdisplay=1

Bit pricey at $150 maybe  :hmm:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on November 23, 2014, 02:25:26 pm
When to an event today for the younger niece, the 7 year old, where her work was one of the few pieces selected from her school for a regional art exhibit.
When it was time to go--

"Thank you for inviting me, sweetie.  Your work is very good, and I am very proud of you."
"I get your leather jacket when you die."


I love her so much. :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 23, 2014, 02:28:46 pm
 :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Martinus on November 23, 2014, 02:47:01 pm
When to an event today for the younger niece, the 7 year old, where her work was one of the few pieces selected from her school for a regional art exhibit.
When it was time to go--

"Thank you for inviting me, sweetie.  Your work is very good, and I am very proud of you."
"I get your leather jacket when you die."


I love her so much. :wub:
:D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: alfred russel on November 23, 2014, 03:36:22 pm
So with Christmas coming up, there have been lots of questions of the boys about what they'd like for Christmas.

For some reason... Timmy's answer is "a rocketship".

What seems so very depressing to me though is that nobody makes toy rocketships these days.  We're sruggling to find something - the best we can do is a toy spaceshuttle, but I feel bad since that's nearly 40 year old technology.

What is the next generation going to dream of if there are no more toy rocketships?  :(

What about these things?

http://www.amazon.com/Estes-1469-Tandem-X-Launch-Set/dp/B002VLP67S/ref=sr_1_6/188-2050897-2093323?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1416778064&sr=1-6&keywords=rocket+parachute
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on November 23, 2014, 05:41:45 pm
In bad parenting news, Cassandra asked if she could play Space Marine on the PS3. I said yes.

She made chainsaw noises as she was chopping up Orks. Next up, Chaos worship at Sunday school.

Cassandra is a pretty good name for a Sister of Battle, so perhaps it was preordained?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: mongers on November 23, 2014, 05:54:03 pm
Do you ever just go watch your kids sleep?

Am I weird for that?

I still do - he's so beautiful when he sleeps!

When he was a tiny baby, used to sneak in to make sure he was still breathing - that's a first-child-parent-fear thing, I think.

Heh, when you reach a certain age, you start doing that with old people.  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on November 23, 2014, 06:22:18 pm
In bad parenting news, Cassandra asked if she could play Space Marine on the PS3. I said yes.

She made chainsaw noises as she was chopping up Orks. Next up, Chaos worship at Sunday school.

Cassandra is a pretty good name for a Sister of Battle, so perhaps it was preordained?

She'll be an Inquisitor. Dispensing vengeance and shit.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on November 23, 2014, 08:01:57 pm
Ariel drew/made a collage of the toys she wants for christmas. She put a stack of hand towels has a choice. Sold!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on November 26, 2014, 04:08:43 pm
When to an event today for the younger niece, the 7 year old, where her work was one of the few pieces selected from her school for a regional art exhibit.
When it was time to go--

"Thank you for inviting me, sweetie.  Your work is very good, and I am very proud of you."
"I get your leather jacket when you die."


I love her so much. :wub:

Yesterday was Grandparents Day at her school, and they worked on their writing and spelling with a Q & A worksheet--

Q--If you had one wish to give to Grandma/Grandpa, what wish would it be?
A--"To live longer"

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on December 03, 2014, 09:07:39 am
a prank the languish father can try to pull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7HxiMWVL4g
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on December 03, 2014, 09:14:02 am
a prank the languish father can try to pull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7HxiMWVL4g

I'd do it, if I really relished divorce.  :lol:

And possibly a certain amount of domestic violence aimed at me as a preliminary.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 08, 2014, 09:47:28 am
So Tracy was folding some laundry yesterday morning.

Timmy looks at one of her bras, and declares that it is a "nipple sack".  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on December 08, 2014, 11:48:37 am
So Tracy was folding some laundry yesterday morning.

Timmy looks at one of her bras, and declares that it is a "nipple sack".  :lol:

:lol:

My oldest says she also has breast like mom but they are smaller.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on December 08, 2014, 12:00:11 pm
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 17, 2014, 11:29:39 pm
So driving to daycare today, my oldest goes "Daddy!  That restaurant says T I M!  That's my name!"

Yup - my oldest was able to recognize his name in the Tim Horton's sign.  Part of me is sad at the obvious commercialization, but part of me is ecstatic, because it's the first thing he's actually ever read on his own.  He's still only 4.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on December 17, 2014, 11:32:01 pm
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on December 17, 2014, 11:41:33 pm
So driving to daycare today, my oldest goes "Daddy!  That restaurant says T I M!  That's my name!"

Yup - my oldest was able to recognize his name in the Tim Horton's sign.  Part of me is sad at the obvious commercialization, but part of me is ecstatic, because it's the first thing he's actually ever read on his own.  He's still only 4.

Nice.  :)

I'm 44 and my youngest is 19, so I will never have another kid but that is one of the things that could possibly make me consider it.

I really loved watching that tiny pink helpless thing not only grow physically, but to see them become aware of their surroundings, develop a real personality, show that they really learned something you taught them was amazing.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on December 17, 2014, 11:49:23 pm
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?

The tender age was 22.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on December 18, 2014, 12:51:20 am
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?

Yup, about a week or so after that.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on December 18, 2014, 09:02:03 am
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?

Yup, about a week or so after that.
:lmfao:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Caliga on December 18, 2014, 09:07:37 am
Irish curse. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on December 18, 2014, 09:22:41 am
The 11 year old niece was telling us about her quiz on ancient peoples the other day.

Was telling us about the Egyptian mummification process, and how it was really gross.  Not the process itself, but how they didn't use latex gloves.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: The Brain on December 18, 2014, 10:23:05 am

I really loved watching that tiny pink helpless thing not only grow physically, but to see them become aware of their surroundings, develop a real personality, show that they really learned something you taught them was amazing.

That's quite a penis.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 07, 2015, 09:36:00 am
Timmy: Daddy, did God screw us?

Me: :blink: Umm, how what do you mean Tim?

Timmy: How did God make us?  Did he use screws?

:lol:



Also, the other day Timmy's friend was over for a sleepover.  It's bathtime, and with 4 boys we're going to do two separate baths, with the older ones first.

But Joshua was having nothing to do with that, so when our backs were turned he hauled himself into the freshly-drawn bath, clothes, diaper and all.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: alfred russel on January 07, 2015, 11:25:27 am

But Joshua was having nothing to do with that, so when our backs were turned he hauled himself into the freshly-drawn bath, clothes, diaper and all.

Grallon would have done the same thing. :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on January 07, 2015, 11:48:32 am
Draw a bath?

Is this this only occasion where draw is use that way? Involving water not a pen?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 07, 2015, 11:56:45 am
Draw a bath?

Is this this only occasion where draw is use that way? Involving water not a pen?

You can draw water from a well, but those are about the only two times I can think the word draw is used that way.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on January 07, 2015, 12:11:26 pm
You can draw water from a well, but those are about the only two times I can think the word draw is used that way.

The well meaning, in the sense of extract is pretty common: draw a pistol from a holster, draw a sword from a scabbard.

The bath meaning is strange because it's the opposite.  To me draw a bath sounds very old fashioned.  Like Victorian England old fashioned.  Though it could be a difference between Pomish English and American English.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on January 07, 2015, 01:40:48 pm
You can draw water from a well, but those are about the only two times I can think the word draw is used that way.

The well meaning, in the sense of extract is pretty common: draw a pistol from a holster, draw a sword from a scabbard.

The bath meaning is strange because it's the opposite.  To me draw a bath sounds very old fashioned.  Like Victorian England old fashioned.  Though it could be a difference between Pomish English and American English.

Probably comes from the fact that, in olden times, one had to 'draw' the water from somewhere before filling a bath with it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on January 07, 2015, 09:47:42 pm
I am battling a Pinkeye outbreak.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on January 07, 2015, 10:33:45 pm
I am battling a Pinkeye outbreak.

draw it out
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 07, 2015, 10:41:15 pm
I am battling a Pinkeye outbreak.

lol, ass matter.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on January 08, 2015, 08:42:39 am
Wut
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Brazen on January 08, 2015, 08:51:19 am
Draw a bath?

Is this this only occasion where draw is use that way? Involving water not a pen?

You can draw water from a well, but those are about the only two times I can think the word draw is used that way.
You can draw the curtains too. Three, three are the times the word draw can be used that way.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on January 08, 2015, 09:06:34 am
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/draw?s=t

Quote
verb (used with object), drew, drawn, drawing.
1.
to cause to move in a particular direction by or as if by a pulling force; pull; drag (often followed by along, away, in, out, or off).
2.
to bring, take, or pull out, as from a receptacle or source:
to draw water from a well.
3.
to bring toward oneself or itself, as by inherent force or influence; attract:
The concert drew a large audience.
4.
to sketch (someone or something) in lines or words; delineate; depict:
to draw a vase with charcoal; to draw the comedy's characters with skill.
5.
to compose or create (a picture) in lines.
6.
to mark or lay out; trace:
to draw perpendicular lines.
7.
to frame or formulate:
to draw a distinction.
8.
to write out in legal form (sometimes followed by up):
Draw up the contract.
9.
to inhale or suck in:
to draw liquid through a straw.
10.
to derive or use, as from a source:
to draw inspiration from Shakespeare.
11.
to deduce; infer:
to draw a conclusion.
12.
to get, take, or receive, as from a source:
to draw interest on a savings account; to draw a salary of $600 a week.
13.
to withdraw funds from a drawing account, especially against future commissions on sales.
14.
to produce; bring in:
The deposits draw interest.
15.
to disembowel:
to draw a turkey.
16.
to drain:
to draw a pond.
17.
to pull out to full or greater length; make by attenuating; stretch:
to draw filaments of molten glass.
18.
to bend (a bow) by pulling back its string in preparation for shooting an arrow.
19.
to choose or to have assigned to one at random, by or as by picking an unseen number, item, etc.:
Let's draw straws to see who has to wash the car.
20.
Metalworking. to form or reduce the sectional area of (a wire, tube, etc.) by pulling through a die.
21.
to wrinkle or shrink by contraction.
22.
Medicine/Medical. to cause to discharge:
to draw an abscess by a poultice.
23.
to obtain (rations, clothing, equipment, weapons, or ammunition) from an issuing agency, as an army quartermaster.
24.
Nautical. (of a vessel) to need (a specific depth of water) to float:
She draws six feet.
25.
to leave (a contest) undecided; finish with neither side winning, as in a tie.
26.
Cards.
to take or be dealt (a card or cards) from the pack.
Bridge. to remove the outstanding cards in (a given suit) by leading that suit:
He had to draw spades first in order to make the contract.
27.
Billiards. to cause (a cue ball) to recoil after impact by giving it a backward spin on the stroke.
28.
Northeastern U.S. ( chiefly New England) to haul; cart.
29.
Hunting. to search (a covert) for game.
30.
Cricket. to play (a ball) with a bat held at an angle in order to deflect the ball between the wicket and the legs.
31.
Curling. to slide (the stone) gently.
32.
to steep (tea) in boiling water.
33.
to form or shape (glass) as it comes from the furnace by stretching.

verb (used without object), drew, drawn, drawing.
34.
to exert a pulling, moving, or attracting force:
A sail draws by being properly trimmed and filled with wind.
35.
to move or pass, especially slowly or continuously, as under a pulling force (often followed by on, off, out, etc.):
The day draws near.
36.
to take out a sword, pistol, etc., for action.
37.
to hold a drawing, lottery, or the like:
to draw for prizes.
38.
to sketch or to trace figures; create a picture or depict by sketching.
39.
to be skilled in or practice the art of sketching:
I can't paint, but I can draw.
40.
to shrink or contract (often followed by up).
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 08, 2015, 09:33:48 am
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/draw?s=t

verb (used with object), drew, drawn, drawing.

31.
Curling. to slide (the stone) gently.

That's a shitty definition.  In curling, a draw is a show where you attempt to place your shot inside the house (that is, inside the rings).  This is as opposed to a take-out, where you throw the rock with force attempting to strike an opponents rock to remove it from play, but also as opposed to a guard, where you throw even more gently in an attempt to place the rock in front of the house in order to, well, guard it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 08, 2015, 10:20:48 am
Wut

Pinkeye is an infection caused by fecal matter.  Tell the kids to wash their hands after playing in their own shit, and to avoid the stinky kids at school.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on January 08, 2015, 05:53:30 pm
Wut

Pinkeye is an infection caused by fecal matter.  Tell the kids to wash their hands after playing in their own shit, and to avoid the stinky kids at school.

Ah. There are other causes too. But I do have a pack of bidet shitters.

Anyways, one child doesn't like the antibiotic drops and warned me off. She said, "HEY DUDE, BACK THE HELL OFF."

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on January 08, 2015, 06:01:43 pm
"HEY DUDE, BACK THE HELL OFF."

No need for the paternity test.  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on January 09, 2015, 04:18:21 pm
I have pinkeye now. :grrr:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 07, 2015, 01:17:09 pm
So our kids are picky eaters.  The little guys I think just get it by copying what bigger brother Timothy does, but for whatever reason, they are hard to get to eat new things.

For Easter we had some friends and family over and we cooked a big ham.  We tried to get Timothy to eat some - despite him saying "it smells like bacon!" (and bacon is one thing he will eat), he refused to try.

So we try middle kid Andrew.  Reluctantly he puts some in his mouth... then his face breaks out in a huge grin and he goes "I'm happy!".  A couple moments later he tells us "I like ham".  Apparently he likes ham so much he had to tell us "I like ham" about five or six more times.



A little later on, Timothy and his little buddy were "discussing" whether or not to go play outside.  His little buddy says "well we should go check the weather stick".  Puzzled, I ask "what is the weather stick?".  Timothy replies "you know, the one with the birds on it".

I pause for a moment, then burst out laughing.  They're talking about the thermometer in our window, which has a picture of a bird on it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on April 07, 2015, 01:43:24 pm
:lol:  That reminds me of one time when Tommy was like 2 or 3, he was trying to say something about the sun but couldn't think of the actual word for it, so he called it "the hot moon".
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on April 07, 2015, 01:52:02 pm
"I'm happy!".  A couple moments later he tells us "I like ham".  Apparently he likes ham so much he had to tell us "I like ham" about five or six more times.

Reminds me of how J reacted to having cake on his second birthday.  "I like dat.  I big like dat!"
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 22, 2015, 10:15:00 am
So last night Timmy starts asking me about Santa Claus.  And whether he's real.  I grow a little bit sad - surely he's not too old to believe in Santa Claus?

Then he tells me he thinks Santa doesn't deliver presents on Christmas.  It's probably the Easter Bunny who does it instead.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on May 22, 2015, 10:16:57 am
Then he tells me he thinks Santa doesn't deliver presents on Christmas.  It's probably the Easter Bunny who does it instead.

:lol:

For some reason David is also very impressed with the Easter Bunny.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 29, 2015, 08:21:35 am
Andrew's favourite pjs:

So Timmy and Andrew love superheroes.  There are lots of superhero cartoons on Netflix, and at bedtime we like to watch the 1960s Batman show.  For some reason Andrew's absolute favourite is Robin - he might be the only person in the entire history of time who thinks Robin is cool.

But anyways a couple weeks ago Tracy brought home a pair of pyjamas that immediately became Andrew's favourite.  They're Batman pyjamas.  The shirt looks like Batman's costume, with logo, utility belt, and fake abs.  That's not unusual for kids pyjamas - the boys have similar Ninja Turtle pyjamas.

But what puts these pjs over the top is that it comes complete with a Batman cape, attached with velcro.  So off Andrew goes to bed, cape flapping behind him (because when you're wearing a cape, you have no choice but to run at full speed everywhere apparently). :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: frunk on August 30, 2015, 10:44:41 pm
Things that I have recently learned my daughter is scared of:

Cows, horses, goats, ducks and chickens that make noise
Pigeons that flap their wings
Live action Scooby Doo (I'm also scared of this one)
Elevators that beep
People laughing
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 31, 2015, 03:43:14 pm
We spent the weekend re-doing the boys room.  We got them a bunkbed since Timmy was about to outgrow the little Ikea toddler bed he was sleeping on.

That meant we had two toddler beds to get rid of.  We're giving one to my brother in Calgary, and we were going to keep the other one just hanging around until Joshua was eventually ready to move out of his crib.

There wasn't really room for it, but we put the extra bed into Joshua's room to put it somewhere, and so he could maybe get ready for the idea.

But when it came time for bed Joshua marched straight over to that bed and had absolutely zero issues.

So now the crib is all packed up, and Tracy got a little-bit teary as that meant "no more babies" were in our house.

On the other hand, I was very excited at the thought of "no more babies". :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on August 31, 2015, 03:57:40 pm
Oh yeah, that gets your a tear. I gave my crib to a friend. He posted picture of it all assembled for his new born on Facebook. Made me all nostalgic again.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: sbr on August 31, 2015, 07:25:13 pm
My youngest moved out last Saturday (none days ago).  This weekend I found what appears to be a diary under the mattress on her old bed.  :glare:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on November 03, 2015, 02:46:17 pm
A couple of Halloween anecdotes.

The boys were super excited for weeks to go trick-or-treating.  Timmy (5) had his batman costume, Andrew (3) had his Robin costume, and Joshua had another Batman costume.  But when it comes time to go out, this being Edmonton it was pretty cold.  So we bundle everyone up in their winter coats and try to put their costumes on overtop.  But Joshie's Batman costume just won't fit.  Things are getting a little stressful with Timmy really, really wanting to get going, but we hunt around and find an elephant costume Tim wore a couple of years ago that fits just fine.

Except now Andrew's just hit his limit.  He's been so excited he just melts down.  He doesn't want to go, he's crying that he wants to stay at home.

So I take Timmy and Joshua, while Mrs B stays at home with Andrew trying to get him to calm down.

We go to our neighbors first, of course.  They let the boys pick out a full-size chocolate bar (:w00t:).  But when I try to get Joshie to put his in the bag, there's no way.  The lady gave him chocolate and dammit he was going to eat his chocolate!  Eventually I give in and unwrap the chocolate.  So for the next little while Josh wanders around to the houses but not interested in any of the other candy I'm gathering on his behalf - he's busy making a mess eating his treat.

Eventually Josh gets tired, and Andrew comes out to join us.  Mrs B takes the two older boys out some more.

Evening ends in the expected pigging out on sugar.


Anyways... fast forward to the next morning.  Mrs B has signed up to take the boys out for a Downs Syndrome fundraising walk.  She got some donations signing up as a group - "Team Dynamic Duo", with everyone dressed up as superheroes.  But that was fine when we had two Batmans and a Robin - now it's Batman, Robin and an elephant.  So what do we do?  We tie a red cape around Joshua's elephant costume and send him as as Elephant Man.   :blush:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on November 03, 2015, 03:07:08 pm
If I were you I would dress all three up as the Michelin Man to keep them warm.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on February 24, 2016, 11:56:44 pm
So middle kid Andrew has been super lovey recently.  Today, even after getting home from work at 5:30, about 3 times he came up to me and said "I want a hug and kiss".. which of course "forced" me to get down on my knees and give him a hug and a kiss. :hug:

On the other front... It's been about a week since I changed a diaper for the youngest Joshie.  I've been changing diapers non-stop since mid-2010.  It's glorious. :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Crazy_Ivan80 on February 25, 2016, 05:21:39 am
So middle kid Andrew has been super lovey recently.  Today, even after getting home from work at 5:30, about 3 times he came up to me and said "I want a hug and kiss".. which of course "forced" me to get down on my knees and give him a hug and a kiss. :hug:

it's impossible to say no to a hug and kiss from one's kids I've found. Our youngest is learning to hug at six months, resulting in the occassional hug and drool moment. But refusing is impossible. :p
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on February 25, 2016, 08:31:32 am
My son will run towards me, barely slowing down while avoiding colliding with me yelling "Daddy, I love you".

:hug:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on February 25, 2016, 11:04:16 am
Some of my favourite memories are of coming home at the end of a long day and the boys running out of the house to meet me yelling "Daddy Daddy Daddy" and then giving me big hugs.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on February 25, 2016, 11:50:50 am
Before he had to go to early retirement, I knew not to bother my father when he came home from another work day, because he'd have a bite, plop down in front of the TV and pretty much immediately go to sleep.

Later I knew not to bother him, because he had constant back pain and was either wound like a spring or zoned out on pain killers.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PRC on February 25, 2016, 11:54:27 am
Some of my favourite memories are of coming home at the end of a long day and the boys running out of the house to meet me yelling "Daddy Daddy Daddy" and then giving me big hugs.

It has been said that no one knows what it's like to be a parent until you become one.    I used to scoff at that, thinking i'd watched enough Full House reruns to get the jist of it.  But upon becoming a parent myself this experience is the one that I never knew a person could have... that someone (other than a dog) could be so overjoyed and unabashedly happy to see you. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 15, 2016, 05:03:40 pm
So bath night is always a big hit around our house.  But the last month or two they've put a new spin on bath-night rituals.

As soon as I start running the bath they all immediately strip out of their clothes and then go running around the living room yelling "naked boys! naked boys!" and generally acting like fools.

I just shake my head.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 16, 2016, 10:36:51 pm
So tonight before supper I take my boys outside to the front yard.  Timmy skoots around on his bike (with training wheels).  He sees that a boy from across the street, probably younger than he is, is riding his bike without training wheels.  So he says "maybe I could try without training wheels".

I know to strike while the iron is hot.  Those wheels are off in under a minute.  Timmy is a little nervous - I tell him I'll hold him to start.

Well I held that bike for like 2 seconds and he was off.  He took to riding a bike like a champ.

Hell, after supper he wanted to ride his bike, so I took his brothers in the stroller, and Timmy on his bike, for a good hour and a half walk / bike ride.  Until near the end when he got tired, Tim was usually quite a distance ahead of us.

I dunno - there's lots of life milestones you see as a parent.  But somehow the "no training wheels" one is really hitting me. :cry:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Josephus on April 17, 2016, 09:16:19 am
So tonight before supper I take my boys outside to the front yard.  Timmy skoots around on his bike (with training wheels).  He sees that a boy from across the street, probably younger than he is, is riding his bike without training wheels.  So he says "maybe I could try without training wheels".

I know to strike while the iron is hot.  Those wheels are off in under a minute.  Timmy is a little nervous - I tell him I'll hold him to start.

Well I held that bike for like 2 seconds and he was off.  He took to riding a bike like a champ.

Hell, after supper he wanted to ride his bike, so I took his brothers in the stroller, and Timmy on his bike, for a good hour and a half walk / bike ride.  Until near the end when he got tired, Tim was usually quite a distance ahead of us.

I dunno - there's lots of life milestones you see as a parent.  But somehow the "no training wheels" one is really hitting me. :cry:

there will be plenty more, Beeb. Enjoy them them.  :cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on April 17, 2016, 10:43:52 pm
Awesome, Beeb :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: PRC on April 18, 2016, 12:49:30 pm
So tonight before supper I take my boys outside to the front yard.  Timmy skoots around on his bike (with training wheels).  He sees that a boy from across the street, probably younger than he is, is riding his bike without training wheels.  So he says "maybe I could try without training wheels".

I know to strike while the iron is hot.  Those wheels are off in under a minute.  Timmy is a little nervous - I tell him I'll hold him to start.

Well I held that bike for like 2 seconds and he was off.  He took to riding a bike like a champ.

Hell, after supper he wanted to ride his bike, so I took his brothers in the stroller, and Timmy on his bike, for a good hour and a half walk / bike ride.  Until near the end when he got tired, Tim was usually quite a distance ahead of us.

I dunno - there's lots of life milestones you see as a parent.  But somehow the "no training wheels" one is really hitting me. :cry:

Great story!  Did you have him on a balance bike or anything like that before the pedal bike?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 18, 2016, 12:51:51 pm
Great story!  Did you have him on a balance bike or anything like that before the pedal bike?

I didn't know the term "balance bike", but I looked it up and yes - he's had one for a couple years.  I'm sure it helped.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on April 18, 2016, 03:10:14 pm
So tonight before supper I take my boys outside to the front yard.  Timmy skoots around on his bike (with training wheels).  He sees that a boy from across the street, probably younger than he is, is riding his bike without training wheels.  So he says "maybe I could try without training wheels".

I know to strike while the iron is hot.  Those wheels are off in under a minute.  Timmy is a little nervous - I tell him I'll hold him to start.

Well I held that bike for like 2 seconds and he was off.  He took to riding a bike like a champ.

Hell, after supper he wanted to ride his bike, so I took his brothers in the stroller, and Timmy on his bike, for a good hour and a half walk / bike ride.  Until near the end when he got tired, Tim was usually quite a distance ahead of us.

I dunno - there's lots of life milestones you see as a parent.  But somehow the "no training wheels" one is really hitting me. :cry:

Those are one of those moments you will not forget.  For me, J decided he wanted his training wheels off so I got the tools from the shed and he helped me take them off.  I then took the tools back to the shed and brought the video camera to record his first moments riding unaided.   Only to discover that he decided it would be a good idea to get on the bike himself and start riding around. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 05, 2016, 11:29:42 am
So Timothy is signed up for outdoor soccer again this summer.  He played last year on a U6 team, but at 4 going on 5 he was strangely apprehensive about the ball.  I don't believe he scored a single goal all season.

Over the winter we had him signed up for indoor soccer at the local Y.  No formal team or anything, they just play a bunch of games involving soccer balls for 45 minutes on a Saturday.

So now in his second season of outdoor soccer.  He's now 5 going on 6, one of the older kids on his team.  His first night on Monday he was a way different kid from last year.  He was right in the middle of all the action, and scored his first outdoor soccer goal.  He was so proud.

Then his second game was on Wednesday.  And he... blew the place up.  It was like he was scoring at will.  He scored 6 goals, including 4 on one shift.  You're not supposed to keep score, but in my head I had a final score of 7-2, which meant Timothy scored 2/3 of all the goals scored.  And again he was super proud of himself.

I was just shocked.  This was just one game with a bunch of kindergarteners and under, but still I never would have expected it.  He's my kid, after all.

If this is some kind of new normal I'm going to have to start talking to him about good sportsmanship and making sure to pass the ball, but for one night I was just going to let him enjoy being a good soccer player.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on May 05, 2016, 07:00:54 pm
Sportsmanship is overrated. Tears are good teacher.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on May 05, 2016, 07:21:38 pm
I'm going to have to start talking to him about good sportsmanship and making sure to pass the ball,

Great.  Setting him up for failure.  Way to go.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 12, 2016, 11:02:22 am
Yup.  Three more soccer games, and Timmy hasn't failed to score less than six goals per game.  Last night his team won 8-4, with Timmy scoring 7 of his team's goals.

I'm starting to get those over-involved and hyper-competitive sports parents.  It makes me strangely proud to see him score all those goals, even though I had nothing whatsoever to do with it.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 08, 2016, 10:43:23 am
So Timothy comes home from school and he has a little hand-drawn card in his backpack.  He says he didn't know it was there.

It has a little picture drawn of some trees and grass, with the caption "I love you so much Tim, From Kelsey".  :lol: :zipped:

Which reminds me of a couple weeks ago at Timothy's birthday party - the mom of one of the girls he invited (Not Kelsey) made a point of telling us how, at home, her daughter has several times told her parents that she is going to marry Tim when she grows up.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on June 08, 2016, 01:06:55 pm
playa
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on June 08, 2016, 01:19:08 pm
He could show someone in the back room a thing or two :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on June 08, 2016, 07:07:17 pm
She sounds clingy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on June 29, 2016, 07:28:07 pm
The twins new favorite song:

Weezer's Hash Pipe.

Yes, I hope they mishear the lyrics.  :blush:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 17, 2016, 10:33:13 pm
So Timmy started hockey this year.

As it turns out despite him being 6 years old, several of the kids have already been playing hockey for 1-2 years already.  Tim is definitely not one of the better players on his team.  But for what it's worth he is one of the bigger kids, and he is definitely enjoying it and can't wait to go to hockey.

But what really surprises me is this - he keeps asking to go outside and practice hockey.  And I mean practice - he wants to go outside and practice passing, for example.  This is a kid we have to pester a little bit to do his reading homework, and forget about cleaning up toys.  But he's begging me to practice hockey (road hockey, of course - we may have snow on the ground but it's way too early for the outdoor rinks to be ready).

I mean - I hated practicing anything at his age... :unsure:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 17, 2016, 10:46:11 pm
Awesome.  Sounds like maybe he'll be the enforcer :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 17, 2016, 10:50:14 pm
Awesome.  Sounds like maybe he'll be the enforcer :thumbsup:

Over my dead body. :thumbsdown:

Look - in the incredibly, unbelievably unlikely possibility (he is my kid, after all) that he's good enough to try and make a go of hockey for a career, there's no way I'll let him play junior hockey.  He can preserve his NCAA eligibility in Junior B. :smarty:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: alfred russel on October 17, 2016, 10:51:44 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on October 17, 2016, 10:53:16 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.

It's not like it's a new trend, or anything.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 17, 2016, 10:53:38 pm
Besides though - if any of my kids are going to be athletes, it's youngest kid Joshie.  After having to wrestle with two older brothers he's a real fighter, and just turning three years old tomorrow. :wub:

Middle kid Andrew, who I may just love most of all, is definitely going to be the nerd of the litter though.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: alfred russel on October 17, 2016, 10:55:14 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.

It's not like it's a new trend, or anything.

The new trend of me having friends with 6 year olds that clue me into this stuff is what I meant. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 17, 2016, 10:59:02 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.

It's not like it's a new trend, or anything.

Which begs the question: is it really an advantage if everybody is doing it?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 17, 2016, 11:05:13 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.

What HVC said.  Walter Gretzky famously had Wayne started in hockey at age 2 in his backyard rink.

I tried getting Timmy skating at age 2 (not at a backyard rink, but the local outdoor rink).  It didn't go well.  It wasn't till last year when I put him in skating lessons he started to do okay.

Don't get me wrong - he may be in 'organized hockey' but I'm actually impressed with how inclusive it is.  He's on a team of 9 players.  They have one practice, then one game, each week.  The games are on half ice - so there's two games per rink.  They play 4 on 4, and when the kids aren't playing they use centre ice to do various games and drills with them - so no kid is ever just sitting around getting bored.  And nobody keeps score at all.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on October 17, 2016, 11:16:20 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.

It's not like it's a new trend, or anything.

Which begs the question: is it really an advantage if everybody is doing it?

It's not an advantage for everyone, but if your genetically gifted to be a pro athlete early intervention is key. It turns a good athlete into a great one. If you were going to be mediocre then you're just a mediocre 6 year old playing around
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on October 17, 2016, 11:36:29 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.

I've been taking my almost-3-year-old to soccer class. Calling it organized would be a bit of a stretch.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 17, 2016, 11:46:05 pm
The trend of kids starting organized sports before 6 is so dumb.

I've been taking my almost-3-year-old to soccer class. Calling it organized would be a bit of a stretch.

Just one anecdote:

I took Timmy out to outdoor soccer last year - age 4/5.  He was okay, trouble focusing on what was going on.

During the winter, because it was cheap, I had him in indoor soccer at the YMCA.  It wasn't heavily organized, they mostly just played games that involved soccer balls.

This summer, I had him back in outdoor soccer.  Suddenly he was scoring goals almost at will.  Just knowing how to control the ball made it so he could kick the ball into the net.

Nothing about this says he is going to be a soccer star.  It just goes to show that early exposure to a sport does actually mean something.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on October 18, 2016, 12:38:38 am
For sure.

Though from my perspective, it's just about providing some sort of framework to do stuff.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tonitrus on October 18, 2016, 01:08:06 am

Nothing about this says he is going to be a soccer star.  It just goes to show that early exposure to a sport does actually mean something.

Lies.  "Bend It Like Timmy" is his future.  :P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: celedhring on October 18, 2016, 04:34:23 am
Like any good red blooded Spaniard I played football since I was 4 years old and I still sucked at it 20 years later. Well, ok, I ended up becoming a decent goalie, but I didn't switch to that position until my tweens, thanks to the "fat kid in goal" rule.

That said, getting kids to do sports at early age seems to me a good in itself, in spite of it not inherently making them better at them in the long run.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: alfred russel on October 18, 2016, 06:57:21 am
The flip side is a friend of mine wants to get her 6 year old into baseball. She signed him up, and he was lukewarm on the sport. Okay, no big deal, she thought, lets give him a couple years and try again at 8. Only at that point, the other kids will have been playing for years, and he will suck, and then he really won't like it. Which could be part of the problem now, as the other kids have been playing before 6, and he consequently isn't very good.

I'm talking out of my ass on this, but I'd think that baseball/t ball and hockey are probably a bit different than soccer, because by their nature they require a bit more organization than soccer (where you can put a ball on a field and let kids chase the ball around.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 18, 2016, 07:02:29 am
I think there will be soccer for my household next summer. Right now it's swimming lessons since it's much cheaper than hockey & is indoor.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: celedhring on October 18, 2016, 07:40:53 am
The flip side is a friend of mine wants to get her 6 year old into baseball. She signed him up, and he was lukewarm on the sport. Okay, no big deal, she thought, lets give him a couple years and try again at 8. Only at that point, the other kids will have been playing for years, and he will suck, and then he really won't like it. Which could be part of the problem now, as the other kids have been playing before 6, and he consequently isn't very good.

I'm talking out of my ass on this, but I'd think that baseball/t ball and hockey are probably a bit different than soccer, because by their nature they require a bit more organization than soccer (where you can put a ball on a field and let kids chase the ball around.

I can't talk about baseball or hockey. The thing about football is that at youth levels athleticism is the biggest factor. The larger and/or faster kids will always shine, even if they aren't that good with the ball. That also means that just being in decent shape and having enough stamina to run around will make you an asset to your team. Heck, you'll probably be more effective than somebody with great technique that gets winded after 10 minutes. I'm not talking about top level youth football here, of course, but the thing about football is that it isn't that hard to grab a ball and be useful to your team - it's one of the factors that has made it so successful around the globe.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Gups on October 18, 2016, 08:32:29 am
You guys are idiots.

Fast forward 10 years and you'll be getting up at 6 a.m. to drive your kid to an U15 rugby match, wait in the car for an hour while they change and warm up  because it's in the middle of the countryside you can't get a fucking cup of tea, let alone full English before standing in the pissing rain watching the muddy oafs knock seven shades of shit out of each other then wait another 45 minutes for him to get changed and piss about with his mates.

Make 'em play video games or let their mum take 'em.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 18, 2016, 09:08:09 am
We're driving down to Tennessee for a weekend regional 8U football tournament the weekend before Thanksgiving.  I was the one coach that voted against it, but whatever.  Should be fun.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on October 18, 2016, 09:54:15 am
You guys are idiots.

Fast forward 10 years and you'll be getting up at 6 a.m. to drive your kid to an U15 rugby match, wait in the car for an hour while they change and warm up  because it's in the middle of the countryside you can't get a fucking cup of tea, let alone full English before standing in the pissing rain watching the muddy oafs knock seven shades of shit out of each other then wait another 45 minutes for him to get changed and piss about with his mates.

Make 'em play video games or let their mum take 'em.

Speaking from hard won experience?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 18, 2016, 09:56:35 am
You guys are idiots.

I know.  Already my Saturday's are ruined - Andrew has skating lessons at 9:45, then Timmy has hockey practice at 1:15.  Wait till next year when all three are in organized sports... :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: celedhring on October 18, 2016, 10:04:31 am
My parents never drove me to my football matches, neither did the parents of my teammates. Then again, all matches where in and around Barcelona so there wasn't usually a need. We just bused or rode the subway.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 18, 2016, 10:36:05 am
My parents never drove me to my football matches, neither did the parents of my teammates. Then again, all matches where in and around Barcelona so there wasn't usually a need. We just bused or rode the subway.


My first time in Buenos Aires my brother in law had a soccer championship game that nobody in the family bothered to attend.  I had no knowledge of it until he arrived back home with a big trophy.  I was horrified that none of the family went to watch him.  I'd have gone.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: celedhring on October 18, 2016, 10:50:28 am
My parents never drove me to my football matches, neither did the parents of my teammates. Then again, all matches where in and around Barcelona so there wasn't usually a need. We just bused or rode the subway.


My first time in Buenos Aires my brother in law had a soccer championship game that nobody in the family bothered to attend.  I had no knowledge of it until he arrived back home with a big trophy.  I was horrified that none of the family went to watch him.  I'd have gone.

Probably a cultural thing. Our football tournaments were definitely a parent-free zone, and that was part of the experience. Hanging out with the teammates, travelling to the match together, esprit de corps... this kind of thing.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 18, 2016, 11:09:33 am
Probably a cultural thing. Our football tournaments were definitely a parent-free zone, and that was part of the experience. Hanging out with the teammates, travelling to the match together, esprit de corps... this kind of thing.

I'm sure it is-- on top of the fact that nobody gave a shit about sports in that household.  It was all art, academics, whatever the girls are doing, blah blah blah.  If you were a male in the house you just pretty much stayed out of the way until something needed fixed.  Much less nagging.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Berkut on October 18, 2016, 11:12:45 am
My parents never drove me to my football matches, neither did the parents of my teammates. Then again, all matches where in and around Barcelona so there wasn't usually a need. We just bused or rode the subway.


My first time in Buenos Aires my brother in law had a soccer championship game that nobody in the family bothered to attend.  I had no knowledge of it until he arrived back home with a big trophy.  I was horrified that none of the family went to watch him.  I'd have gone.

Probably a cultural thing. Our football tournaments were definitely a parent-free zone, and that was part of the experience. Hanging out with the teammates, travelling to the match together, esprit de corps... this kind of thing.

 :cry: :hug:
Yeah, I can see how that narrative would help with the abandonment issues.

:P
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: celedhring on October 18, 2016, 11:16:53 am
Probably a cultural thing. Our football tournaments were definitely a parent-free zone, and that was part of the experience. Hanging out with the teammates, travelling to the match together, esprit de corps... this kind of thing.

I'm sure it is-- on top of the fact that nobody gave a shit about sports in that household.  It was all art, academics, whatever the girls are doing, blah blah blah.  If you were a male in the house you just pretty much stayed out of the way until something needed fixed.  Much less nagging.

That's a pretty weird Argentinian household.  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 18, 2016, 11:25:25 am
Probably a cultural thing. Our football tournaments were definitely a parent-free zone, and that was part of the experience. Hanging out with the teammates, travelling to the match together, esprit de corps... this kind of thing.

I'm sure it is-- on top of the fact that nobody gave a shit about sports in that household.  It was all art, academics, whatever the girls are doing, blah blah blah.  If you were a male in the house you just pretty much stayed out of the way until something needed fixed.  Much less nagging.

That's a pretty weird Argentinian household.  :lol:

So I'm told.  They get on the World Cup bandwagon every 4 years and pretend to be into rugby because that's a class identity thing.  But that's about it. 

Side note-- my wife has 5 sisters and 2 brothers.  So males were outnumbered more than 2 to 1.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 18, 2016, 11:40:31 am
You guys are idiots.

I know.  Already my Saturday's are ruined - Andrew has skating lessons at 9:45, then Timmy has hockey practice at 1:15.  Wait till next year when all three are in organized sports... :(

Weren't these people just born?  WTF?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 18, 2016, 11:54:02 am
You guys are idiots.

I know.  Already my Saturday's are ruined - Andrew has skating lessons at 9:45, then Timmy has hockey practice at 1:15.  Wait till next year when all three are in organized sports... :(

Weren't these people just born?  WTF?

My youngest, Joshie, turns three today.  I agree with the WTF - wasn't he just a baby?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 18, 2016, 12:01:56 pm
Started teaching my oldest to drive. Might as well since at this speed she'll be 40 by Xmas. (She's 5 going on 13 & in SCHOOL)

Bonne Fete Josh!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 18, 2016, 02:42:24 pm
Quote
My youngest, Joshie, turns three today.  I agree with the WTF - wasn't he just a baby?

Good grief, the time. :bleeding:  I've been laid off longer than he's been alive.  :bleeding: :bleeding:

My sister bought a new car last week, a Subaru Outlback.  Loved the safety ratings "for the kids in the backseat." When I told her that she just bought the car my oldest niece (13) is going to learn how to drive in, that's when it truly hit her.  :lol:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 18, 2016, 07:31:26 pm
Oh yeah, that one is going to hit pretty hard.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 18, 2016, 07:33:10 pm
You'll enjoy teaching a teenager to drive. Trust me.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tonitrus on October 19, 2016, 01:42:27 am
You'll enjoy teaching a teenager to drive. Trust me.

Was it that hard teaching the wife to parallel park?  :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tamas on October 19, 2016, 05:05:28 am
 :lol:


Seriously though, it's retarded to have parents teach driving. WTF. Most of them can't really drive themselves.

In Hungary you can only learn from a certified instructor, and that one of the few cases where Hungarian legislation gets it right.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 19, 2016, 06:57:49 am
Americans have it in High School, no?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on October 19, 2016, 07:03:15 am
Americans have it in High School, no?

Yeah though I took it in a summer course.

Note that it is, of course, different from state to state.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 19, 2016, 03:57:45 pm
You'll enjoy teaching a teenager to drive. Trust me.

Was it that hard teaching the wife to parallel park?  :(

HEY NOW
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on October 19, 2016, 06:08:12 pm
She handled a bike without training wheels no problem.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 19, 2016, 08:02:23 pm
She handled a bike without training wheels no problem.

That is enough outta you boy.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on October 20, 2016, 04:30:08 pm
Americans have it in High School, no?

Yeah though I took it in a summer course.

Note that it is, of course, different from state to state.

True story: my driving instructor refused to take me on the highway. "They don't pay me enough to risk my life for that".

So I just had to teach myself highway driving. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 20, 2016, 09:07:08 pm
Americans have it in High School, no?

Yeah though I took it in a summer course.

Note that it is, of course, different from state to state.

In WV it was a class they offered during a regular semester.  Private driving schools/instructors were a bit of an oddity.  Here in Ohio it's not offered in schools at all, which still seems weird to me.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Savonarola on October 21, 2016, 08:23:51 am

True story: my driving instructor refused to take me on the highway. "They don't pay me enough to risk my life for that".

So I just had to teach myself highway driving.

One of my friends took drivers ed through the Detroit Public School System.  He said they never got on the open road at all; all driving was done either by simulator or in the parking lot.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 21, 2016, 09:27:32 am
When I learned to drive, it was an actual semester course in 10th grade, and the county school system owned the cars used for the practical part of Drivers Ed.  Probably not the case anymore, no use teaching something that's not on the federal and state standards tests.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 21, 2016, 10:11:04 am
When I learned to drive, it was an actual semester course in 10th grade, and the county school system owned the cars used for the practical part of Drivers Ed. 

My school had a couple sweet Plymouth Reliants.  One beige and one red.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 21, 2016, 06:17:27 pm
My school had a couple sweet Plymouth Reliants.  One beige and one red.

lol, yeah, it was around that time.  No frills K-cars.  No AC, no radios.  :lol:  I think we had a couple shitty '84 Chevy Nova nightmares as well. 

Jesus H Christ, cars were so bad back then.  How the fuck does the namesake for the Malibu become a hatchback.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 21, 2016, 06:50:29 pm
Americans have it in High School, no?

Yeah though I took it in a summer course.

Note that it is, of course, different from state to state.

In WV it was a class they offered during a regular semester.  Private driving schools/instructors were a bit of an oddity.  Here in Ohio it's not offered in schools at all, which still seems weird to me.

When I was in High School it was offered as a regular semester and a summer course.  I took the Summer Course.  I was an idiot back then and took a whole bunch of extra classes.  In 9th Grade I had a class (science) after the school closed for everyone else.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 21, 2016, 08:16:52 pm
And you didn't even make meth.  Way to go, McFly.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 21, 2016, 08:28:41 pm
True story: my driving instructor refused to take me on the highway. "They don't pay me enough to risk my life for that".

So I just had to teach myself highway driving.
Which is an idiotic attitude, as highways are the safest roads.  Which doesn't mean that you still don't need to be taught the basics.  But my instructors had the same attitude, so I had to learn it on my own as well.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 21, 2016, 09:18:20 pm
And you didn't even make meth.  Way to go, McFly.

Before I was insane I was the ambitious little worker bee. :blush:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 21, 2016, 09:19:43 pm
As soon as the bell rung, I was outta there. They already stole 6 hours of my day.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on October 22, 2016, 12:26:26 am
Which is an idiotic attitude, as highways are the safest roads.  Which doesn't mean that you still don't need to be taught the basics.  But my instructors had the same attitude, so I had to learn it on my own as well.

Safest in terms of property or in terms of casualty?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 23, 2016, 08:35:04 pm
I taught my twins the secret family Recipie for chili. Now the little shits can cook for me.

Yes Val, with beans. Suck on that.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on October 23, 2016, 08:48:31 pm
Cincinnati style chili with cinnamon?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 23, 2016, 08:50:28 pm
Cincinnati style chili with cinnamon?

No. Yuk. :yuk:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on October 23, 2016, 09:01:08 pm
I taught my twins the secret family Recipie for chili. Now the little shits can cook for me.

Yes Val, with beans. Suck on that.

Cultural appropriation :weep:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 23, 2016, 09:10:22 pm
I taught my twins the secret family Recipie for chili. Now the little shits can cook for me.

Yes Val, with beans. Suck on that.

Cultural appropriation :weep:

It got kentuckied.

Next up: changing texas barbacque. I'm thinking of smoking some Spam.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on October 23, 2016, 09:23:54 pm
Pulled possum.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 23, 2016, 09:58:29 pm
Which is an idiotic attitude, as highways are the safest roads.  Which doesn't mean that you still don't need to be taught the basics.  But my instructors had the same attitude, so I had to learn it on my own as well.

Safest in terms of property or in terms of casualty?
In terms of everything.  Accident rate, fatality rate, property damage rate.  Road design >> low speed, when it comes to traffic deaths.  You may be going faster on freeways, but you're far less likely to hit another car, and far less likely to  come to a sudden stop if you do hit something.  You can't t-bone someone in an intersection on a highway, nor can you drift into opposing lane to hit someone head-on, which are two of the most dangerous types of accidents.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 23, 2016, 10:02:00 pm
You've never been on a Missouri highway, have you?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 23, 2016, 10:05:53 pm
You've never been on a Missouri highway, have you?
No, my navigation skills are not THAT bad.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 24, 2016, 10:37:34 am
Cincinnati style chili with cinnamon?

WTF
Don't tell me that's a thing.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 24, 2016, 10:40:37 am
You've never been on a Missouri highway, have you?
No, my navigation skills are not THAT bad.

" You can't t-bone someone in an intersection on a highway, nor can you drift into opposing lane to hit someone head-on, which are two of the most dangerous types of accidents."

This sentence doesn't apply in Missouri.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 24, 2016, 11:46:17 am
You've never been on a Missouri highway, have you?
No, my navigation skills are not THAT bad.

" You can't t-bone someone in an intersection on a highway, nor can you drift into opposing lane to hit someone head-on, which are two of the most dangerous types of accidents."

This sentence doesn't apply in Missouri.

Or on many Alberta (and Manitoba since I'm visiting) highways.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Razgovory on October 24, 2016, 12:32:19 pm
Every night the local news reports someone dying on a two lane highway.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 24, 2016, 12:43:01 pm
Every night the local news reports someone dying on a two lane highway.

Happens all the time.  Somebody crossing that center line brings your day to a conclusion rather quickly.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on October 24, 2016, 01:35:51 pm
Cincinnati style chili with cinnamon?

WTF
Don't tell me that's a thing.

The first thing to keep in mind is that it's not really chili.  It's pretty awesome for what it is, but it's really a Greek meat sauce you put over spaghetti or on a hot dog.  And then pile about 6 inches high with finely shredded cheddar.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 24, 2016, 01:49:55 pm
OK, now that certainly sounds a bit more reasonable.  I like the hot dog application; perhaps a nice split grilled knockwurst.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on October 24, 2016, 03:14:11 pm
Which is an idiotic attitude, as highways are the safest roads.  Which doesn't mean that you still don't need to be taught the basics.  But my instructors had the same attitude, so I had to learn it on my own as well.

Safest in terms of property or in terms of casualty?
In terms of everything.  Accident rate, fatality rate, property damage rate.  Road design >> low speed, when it comes to traffic deaths.  You may be going faster on freeways, but you're far less likely to hit another car, and far less likely to  come to a sudden stop if you do hit something.  You can't t-bone someone in an intersection on a highway, nor can you drift into opposing lane to hit someone head-on, which are two of the most dangerous types of accidents.

Heh, interesting.

Of course, by refusing to teach students the basics of highway driving, those instructors were doing their little bit to change those statistics.  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 29, 2016, 11:24:41 pm
So around 4:30, I'm outside with Timmy.  We're playing a little bit of road hockey, just one on one (I couldn't convince Andrew to come outside, and Joshua was outside, but happily playing with dead leaves and mud).

After 15-20 minutes, I see a father and son approaching.  The kid is one of the kids my wife looks after after school, but I've never met.  Their house is just outside of our cul-de-sac.  They're east indian, but they want to play hockey.

So we play two-on-two, adults against kids.  It was blast.  Unspoken but of course we let the kids win, though sometimes there wasn't so much "letting" as I might have liked.

My wife was watching from the upstairs window afterwards as I was cleaning up when it was time to come inside.  She asked why I had such a grin on my face.  I guess it was just such a Canadian fatherhood moment. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Tonitrus on October 29, 2016, 11:32:50 pm
Every night the local news reports someone dying on a two lane highway.

Happens all the time.  Somebody crossing that center line brings your day to a conclusion rather quickly.

The highway south of out town (the only way down to the Kenai peninsula) is notorious for that in the summer time.  Mostly due to dumb shits who cannot wait for when they get to the passing lanes (or trying to pass around the line of cars that is slowed down for some tourist trying to pull off to the side to look at the mountains/whales in the inlet) trying to pass in the oncoming lame.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: DGuller on October 30, 2016, 10:33:46 am
Every night the local news reports someone dying on a two lane highway.
I meant freeways then, roads that are built to interstate highway standards.  I didn't mean highways such as "Kings Highway" in Brooklyn.  Two lane roads are in fact the most dangerous kinds of roads out there.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: CountDeMoney on October 30, 2016, 11:09:19 am
So the 4th grade niece got elected to the student council, and won the election for Vice President.  I called her and wished her congratulations and offered her some words of advice and encouragement, as uncles are wont to do.

5 minutes later my sister calls back, asking me what "never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut" has to do with Political Science.  Told her it was a Morgenthau thing.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 30, 2016, 10:18:08 pm
Timmy had a hockey game at 5pm today.  Starting at 8am was a constant refrain of "how long till hockey?"

Dude - it's nine hours away.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 09, 2016, 10:49:07 am
Not obnoxious, and definitely not smug, parenting story.

Was dreaming last night - can't really remember what I was dreaming about, but it was pretty banal and uninteresting.  But I realized in my dream 'hey I haven't heard from the boys in a while'.  I remembered they were playing in the tub, so I run over - and two little bodies lying motionless at the bottom.

I awoke with a gasp, and couldn't really get back to sleep the rest of the night.  That was just awful.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Malthus on December 09, 2016, 11:23:10 am
Not obnoxious, and definitely not smug, parenting story.

Was dreaming last night - can't really remember what I was dreaming about, but it was pretty banal and uninteresting.  But I realized in my dream 'hey I haven't heard from the boys in a while'.  I remembered they were playing in the tub, so I run over - and two little bodies lying motionless at the bottom.

I awoke with a gasp, and couldn't really get back to sleep the rest of the night.  That was just awful.

Gods. That's terrible.

When Carl was a baby, I used to have such nightmares. In my dream, I would wake up, run to his crib, and find him not breathing. Then I would wake up for real. And run to his crib. To find him breathing just fine.

Being totally sleep deprived made it worse, and the nightmares made me more sleep deprived.

Once, I actually had the dream-within-the-dream thing. In my dream, I woke up, ran to the crib, baby not breathing. Then, as usual, I woke up, ran to the crib - and he was REALLY not breathing! Then I woke up.

No more sleep for me that night. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on December 09, 2016, 11:36:41 am
So the 4th grade niece got elected to the student council, and won the election for Vice President.  I called her and wished her congratulations and offered her some words of advice and encouragement, as uncles are wont to do.

5 minutes later my sister calls back, asking me what "never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut" has to do with Political Science.  Told her it was a Morgenthau thing.

Lol Seedy the Gent.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: frunk on December 09, 2016, 12:27:10 pm
The first week we had our daughter home one of us was awake at all times with the baby.  It might have cut down on our total sleep, but it meant that when we did sleep it was more restful since we knew the other person was watching out. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on December 09, 2016, 12:27:55 pm
The first week we had our daughter home one of us was awake at all times with the baby.  It might have cut down on our total sleep, but it meant that when we did sleep it was more restful since we knew the other person was watching out. 


We did that with baby #1 as well.

With baby #2 we had no shits to give. If it lives through us sleeping then great.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on December 09, 2016, 06:58:36 pm
I turned my basement into a fighting pit for children.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: katmai on December 09, 2016, 08:06:29 pm
I turned my basement into a fighting pit for children.
Worse than Hitler.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on December 10, 2016, 06:39:36 am
Vegetarian snacks for the kids between bouts though.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on December 10, 2016, 08:27:26 pm
VEGETARIAN? No faggoty on my watch mister! Raw meat! The blood of your opponents!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 10, 2016, 10:50:03 pm
VEGETARIAN? No faggoty on my watch mister! Raw meat! The blood of your opponents!

That doesn't sound the the Fuhrer we know and love. :(
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on December 11, 2016, 07:47:44 pm
VEGETARIAN? No faggoty on my watch mister! Raw meat! The blood of your opponents!

That doesn't sound the the Fuhrer we know and love. :(

That was a gentler fuhrer. I demand blood.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 20, 2016, 10:14:43 am
So Mrs B was getting 4 year old Andrew dressed in the morning.  She noticed Andrew had a whole bunch of marks in pen on his shins.  She asks Andrew who dres on his legs.

Andrew scrunches up his face and holds his finger to his lips, as if thinking really hard.  Then he says "I think it was.. the one who is getting dressed".
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 17, 2017, 12:52:48 pm
So Timmy has been playing hockey this year.  It's his first, although I now know we could have put him  into hockey a couple of years earlier.

He's really taken to it, and despite being his first year you can just about see him improve week by week before our eyes.  He also really seems to like it - if you ask him now what he wants to do when he grows up its to be a hockey player.

He was doing so well he was actually scouted to go and try out for an "elite" (their word) spring hockey team.  He wanted to go, the tryout was free, so we signed him up.

Getting there... yeah.  These are the kids who have been playing hockey since they were three.  His skating was most noticeable - they started out doing various skating drills and he was definitely one of the slowest kids out there.

Afterwards in the car he said something about the other kids all being faster than he was.  I said yeah, but you're just starting and just need more practice.  And now we've got him signed up for powerskating lessons on Friday nights.

Still not sure how far I want to go with this hockey thing.  This is hockey-mad Alberta - there are tons of hockey lessons, hockey camps, spring and summer hockey... hell starting at about grade 3 there's a couple of special hockey-focused schools we could put him in. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on January 17, 2017, 01:16:18 pm
Learning, both you & him, when to quit is the hard part.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on January 17, 2017, 02:03:09 pm
Learning mental toughness and how to work hard and overcome starting from a deficit is one the things that sport - especially Hockey - is supposed to be all about, right?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 17, 2017, 02:08:45 pm
Learning mental toughness and how to work hard and overcome starting from a deficit is one the things that sport - especially Hockey - is supposed to be all about, right?

Oh absolutely.  I try and drill into him it's not about how many goals you score - it's about how hard you work.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on January 17, 2017, 02:13:58 pm
Oh absolutely.  I try and drill into him it's not about how many goals you score - it's about how hard you work.

Good luck :cheers:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 17, 2017, 02:28:44 pm
He scored a goal in one of the scrimmages as part of the tryout - but it was the laziest goal you could get.  He was just standing there in front of the goalie doing nothing, when someone passed him the puck.  He got it up high and scored.  He was excited, but really that's not how you play the game.

Late on that day for the last 15 minutes they were playing a scrimmage, but this time on the full sheet of ice.  Probably because of the last goal he was doing the same thing - standing there in front of the opposition goalie.  Problem was the puck and the play were 200' away in his own team's zone. :frusty:  One of the coaches had to shoo him away and tell him to go after the puck.

He's so not making that team.  But (understandably) so far all they teach him is fundamentals of skating and puck handling.  They don't teach them anything about positioning or how to play as a team.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 12, 2017, 09:41:09 am
So my older two kids were "blankie" kids - they each had their favourite blankie that they had to have with them.  Hell even going on 7 Timmy still likes to have his favourite blankie near him in bed (but doesn't freak out if it isn't).  Andrews, being a thinner blanket, is barely hanging on by a few threads.

Joshua though... in the last 3-4 months has latched on to a stuffed animal.  It's a small stuffy snow leopard from the Winnipeg Zoo.  His name is "Leopardee".  So Leopardee has to go everywhere with Joshua now.  He comes for all the car rides (though usually we can convince him that he should stay in the car).  He absolutely has to be there at bed time.  Heck Sunday morning I woke up to Joshie screaming "Leopardee!" because he couldn't find him once he woke up.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on June 28, 2017, 11:52:01 am
Timothy went to a birthday party last weekend.  It was a Batman-themed party, with the kids basement convrted into the Batcave (password to get into the Batcave "Ironman Sucks").

When I picked Tim up later he said that the actual Batman made an appearance!  He commented that he didn't know Batman was a real person.

A minute later I asked him who was at the party.  What killed me is how he nonchalantly reeled off "Aiden, Andrew, Jacob, Batman, Quinn..."
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on June 28, 2017, 11:54:19 am
The shareholders are trying everything to keep Bruce Wayne from meddling too much these days.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 28, 2017, 11:32:47 am
So Joshua (age 3 1/2) is not feeling well yesterday.  He had a bit of a fever and no appetite.

He woke up yesterday crying.  I got him to calm down, and asked him if he had a bad dream.  He said "No.  But I closed my eyes and pictures came into my eyes".

Then last night he was again crying, so Tracy told him he could sleep in our bed.  Of course when I woke up he was sleeping perpendicular across mine and Tracy's pillows, with me shoved over to the edge of the bed and Tracy sleeping down at the foot of the bed. <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on August 28, 2017, 11:36:31 am
Then last night he was again crying, so Tracy told him he could sleep in our bed.  Of course when I woke up he was sleeping perpendicular across mine and Tracy's pillows, with me shoved over to the edge of the bed and Tracy sleeping down at the foot of the bed. <_<

That was my last night too.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on August 28, 2017, 11:49:36 am
I take a hard line against our kids climbing into our bed in the middle of the night.  The wife unfortunately does not.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on August 28, 2017, 11:56:02 am
It's generally only reserved if kids are sick.

What's weird is the kids have started to sleeping in each other's beds.  The two older kids have bunk beds in one room, with Joshua in his own toddler bed in a second room.  But now on many nights Timothy and Andrew are sleeping in the same bed of the bunkbeds, and for a couple of nights Joshua is was sleeping in the bunk beds as well. :unsure:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Jacob on August 28, 2017, 12:00:20 pm
It's generally only reserved if kids are sick.

Yeah. It's amazing how loud a persistent sniffle can be when the kid jams his face right into your eat.

Quote
What's weird is the kids have started to sleeping in each other's beds.  The two older kids have bunk beds in one room, with Joshua in his own toddler bed in a second room.  But now on many nights Timothy and Andrew are sleeping in the same bed of the bunkbeds, and for a couple of nights Joshua is was sleeping in the bunk beds as well. :unsure:

That's adorable :)

... also seems like good brotherly bonding.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 28, 2017, 04:40:54 pm
So my older two kids were "blankie" kids - they each had their favourite blankie that they had to have with them.  Hell even going on 7 Timmy still likes to have his favourite blankie near him in bed (but doesn't freak out if it isn't).  Andrews, being a thinner blanket, is barely hanging on by a few threads.

This was Carter and Jackson. Both still have their blankies, which are gross because they're afraid that if they wash them they'll fall apart. (There's value in this concern.) They may never outgrow this.

Quote
Joshua though... in the last 3-4 months has latched on to a stuffed animal.  It's a small stuffy snow leopard from the Winnipeg Zoo.  His name is "Leopardee".  So Leopardee has to go everywhere with Joshua now.  He comes for all the car rides (though usually we can convince him that he should stay in the car).  He absolutely has to be there at bed time.  Heck Sunday morning I woke up to Joshie screaming "Leopardee!" because he couldn't find him once he woke up.

Carter had a stuffed bunny that he named Lucky. He carried that thing with him everywhere.

When I moved to Portland, I found Lucky... a filthy, earless stuffed bunny that had been tucked away in a box. I washed him thoroughly. As soon as I can grab Carter's blanket without his knowledge, I'm going to take a strip from it to make new ears for Lucky. And then one day, I'll put Lucky in the bassinet of Carter's first child to look out for him, just like Lucky looked out for Carter.

Don't lose these things, BB. They seem silly, but in 20 years, they'll be your memories... and theirs.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: merithyn on August 28, 2017, 04:42:41 pm
It's generally only reserved if kids are sick.

What's weird is the kids have started to sleeping in each other's beds.  The two older kids have bunk beds in one room, with Joshua in his own toddler bed in a second room.  But now on many nights Timothy and Andrew are sleeping in the same bed of the bunkbeds, and for a couple of nights Joshua is was sleeping in the bunk beds as well. :unsure:

:wub:

I remember those days...

Now they whine if they have to sleep on the same floor in the same house...  <_<
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on August 28, 2017, 04:45:49 pm
Now they whine if they have to sleep on the same floor in the same house...  <_<

:lol:

Kids today :angry:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 06, 2017, 12:14:27 pm
It was Andrew's first day of kindergarten today!

I don't know - he just seemed so grown up today.  I went with him to drop him off.  He did everything his teacher asked him to do.  There's even a couple of kids from his soccer team this summer in his class.  I know he's going to rock kindergarten.   :cool:

Tracy took a quick video of Andrew walking over.  She was asking him a few questions.  She asked him how excited he was.  He thought about it for a bit and said "as much as I love you". :wub:


Poor Joshua was all out of sorts though.  He felt very sad that he isn't going to school.  His spirits should pick up when pre-school starts next week though.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: HVC on September 06, 2017, 01:04:24 pm
Tracy took a quick video of Andrew walking over.  She was asking him a few questions.  She asked him how excited he was.  He thought about it for a bit and said "as much as I love you". :wub:

That can be interpreted different ways. you're raising a lawyer :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 20, 2017, 04:26:56 pm
I came home from work yesterday.  Tim was sitting up at the kitchen counter reading a book about hockey.  I asked him "Hey do you need to read that for school?"

"No.  I just wanted to read"

:)

Tim's reading is just fine, but I remember at his age I was a voracious reader, and so far he hasn't been super into it.  Was nice to see him reading it on his own.  Even if it was a kid's book about Wayne Gretzky.  :yucky:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 22, 2017, 11:21:52 pm
Super-duper hockey focused day today.  Tim had a game, then the boys both had hockey photos (of course on opposite sides of the city), then Andrew's practice.

The main thing I wanted to post about was the team manager took the jerseys last week... and brought them back with name bars on them for today.  It was surprisingly awesome to see Timmy skating down the ice with [Barrister] stitched on the back of his sweater.  :cry: He even scored his first goal of the season. :cool:

It was also cool to see that they played a whole team of girls.  I know girls play hockey - heck his team has one as well, and she's a good player.  But apparently someone organized an entire girls-only hockey organization, and they played our SW Edmonton team to a hard-fought 5-5 tie (with Tim scoring the tieing goal).

That being said though, the most awesome thing about weekends is when I get to lace up my own skates and get out there with the kindergarteners on Andrew's team for an hour as an assistant coach. 
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 23, 2017, 08:29:50 am
I hope you come visit when you go on father-son professional team hockey trip & the team visit the Habs.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on October 23, 2017, 02:00:52 pm
Does the girls team have a goon?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 23, 2017, 02:10:08 pm
Does the girls team have a goon?

They're 7-8 year olds playing non-contact hockey.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 23, 2017, 02:10:41 pm
I hope you come visit when you go on father-son professional team hockey trip & the team visit the Habs.

That would be cool.  I'd love to see a game in Montreal one day.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 25, 2017, 08:36:32 am
I hope you come visit when you go on father-son professional team hockey trip & the team visit the Habs.

That would be cool.  I'd love to see a game in Montreal one day.

Yes, having your son bring you on a father-son trip with his NHL team would be cool.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 25, 2017, 09:29:12 am
I hope you come visit when you go on father-son professional team hockey trip & the team visit the Habs.

That would be cool.  I'd love to see a game in Montreal one day.

Yes, having your son bring you on a father-son trip with his NHL team would be cool.

Don't you go feeding me any "my son in the NHL" dreams.  Timmy is slightly better than average - but there are tons of kids in Edmonton alone better than he is.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 25, 2017, 09:39:55 am
That's how it starts.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 25, 2017, 09:52:16 am
That's how it starts.

How what starts?
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 25, 2017, 10:02:28 am
Dreams
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 28, 2017, 10:24:07 pm
So on Friday night Andrew went off to a birthday party.  I think everyone in his kindergarten class was invited - it was his first birthday party where he wasn't invited with his brothers.  I dropped him off (house was two cul-de-sacs over) without issue.

Then we had supper.  Now Andrew is the quiet one of our three boys, but it was amazing how much quieter it was at supper.  There was no quarreling and needling between the other two.  After supper we played out in the front yard as we often do - but again there was no fighting about what we would play.  I even had Joshie play road hockey with me and Tim for a bit, which Josh never would ordinarily want to do.

It was this image of "gee... is this what life would be like with only two kids?"  It was... kind of pleasant.

But after 2 hours it was time to pick Andrew up.  Both Tim and Josh insisted on coming with me to pick him up.  And once we did, they both had tons of questions for Andrew about what the party was like and what he had been doing.  I was mostly forgotten as the [Barrister] boys re-connected.  And there was no way I'd ever trade having the three of them. :wub:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 29, 2017, 08:33:26 am
I feel the same way when #1 goes to a B-day party. It's so quiet, so easy to just have 1 kid and then #1 comes back & it all flash back in your face; the love.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Ed Anger on October 29, 2017, 07:33:10 pm
I'd trade in one of my kids. Jennifer is a bit dull.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on October 29, 2017, 07:49:38 pm
Yes, you are like India, not all your citizens are stand outs.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on October 29, 2017, 11:14:56 pm
More hockey today.  For Timmy's hockey game, they do have refs, but for the first time all year I actually saw them call a penalty (against the other team).  Then a little bit later... they called a penalty shot in favour of Tim's team.  You could tell the kids had no idea what was going on.  But the kid (Gavin - there are three kids named Gavin out of 13, and two Nates) managed to score and the team erupted in cheers.

Final score was 8-3 against (and it was worse than that - they don't count goals if the difference is more than 5), but Tim did score his second of the year.  He has some legitimately slick moves at times.  After the game he said 'did you see that spin move I did?  I saw Kyle Connor [Jets rookie forward] do that move and it just came into my head'  Asking him, it was something he saw in the pre-season game I took him to a month ago or more.  I'm impressed he actually absorbed something he saw and tried to incorporate it into his game.

Coaching Andrew... again that hour flew by.  I'm impressed - on his team of 5 year olds there were probably 3 kids at the start of the year who could hardly skate (Andrew was not one of them).  Now 3-4 weeks into the year they are all so much better.  Asking Andrew how hockey went he said "It was worser than awesome... it was just good".  :lol:  Whatever he's enjoying it and that's what matters.

And finally, it has nothing to do with parenting, but the Jets demolish the Penguins 7-1 tonight, including a Wheeler hat trick. :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on December 12, 2017, 01:39:06 pm
So Andrew (5) and Josh (4) have this game they've been playing for the last two weeks or so.  It's "gum and licorice".  Andrew is "gum", which is the colour blue.  Joshua is "licorice", which is the colour red.

It somehow involved playing with lego, and other assorted blocks, which are the respective colours.  But despite me asking a few times about their game, I have zero clues what the heck they are doing.

But whatever - I'm just impressed at the power of imagination that they can come up with this convoluted game that has their dad completely bewildered.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 15, 2018, 12:06:40 am
Another hockey-heavy post in this occasional parenting blog.

So Mrs. B went to Mexico in early December with one of her sisters and her mother, so there were not supposed to be any Christmas presents forthcoming.  But for a variety of reasons I decided Mrs B was getting one present: some skates.  All three of our boys are in hockey/skating, so I thought it would be nice if we could all go for a family skate.

It finally came true on Saturday.  It was a beautiful day with temps near (but not above) freezing.  We got all three boys geared up and went out to the neighborhood outdoor rink.  Mrs B was semi-terrified, as she hadn't been on skated for 20-30 years... but she took to it like a pro.  She kept saying afterwards how much fun it was, and how it reminded her so much of being a kid and going out skating in her small town she grew up in.  And all three boys had fun out there skating.  It was a moment I'll always remember.

On a related note... Tim is in his second year of playing hockey.  His team lost all of their games the first couple months of the year, but is now finally turning things around.  You can tell they're now hungry for wins.  So Edmonton Minor Hockey Week is this week, together with a hockey tournament.  His team wins their first two games of the tournament in blowouts. On to the semi-finals next week.  Tim doesn't score any goals, but has a glorious chance where he dekes out the goalie only to hit the post.  :cool:

Anyways... when it comes to hockey I've always been cheap (it's an expensive sport).  I figured 'why buy an expensive stick when you can get a wooden one for $15?'.  And indeed that's all I use.  But Timmy had asked for a "bendy" stick (i.e. expensive), and I realized he was the only kid on his team with a wooden stick.  So I decide to splurge and get him a composite stick.  We find one for $70 :bleeding: that he likes.  They we take it out to the outdoor rink again.

Money well spent, apparently.  For a kid who could never lift the puck off the ice before, he's flipping the puck all over the place.  In fact we lost a puck in a snowbank after he flipped it over the boards, and the chain-link fence on top of the boards.

But let me take back anything bad I ever say about Edmonton winters, because skating on an outdoor rink is just so much fun.  There's just a cool sense of community.  Today some teenager was out there in his goalie pads, so everyone was taking shots on him (I remembered, of course, I have no shot whatsoever, and totally failed to score on him - Timmy did however several times).  There's a good Canadian sense of fairness - when there's little kids out there everyone gives them lots of space.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on January 15, 2018, 08:07:09 am
Yes, the outdoor rink is a concentrate of our Canadian identity.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on January 17, 2018, 10:37:06 am
I was looking back in this thread (I had forgotten so many of the stories - I'm glad I wrote them down here), and realized I've never talked about the boys stuffed animals ('stuffies').

Tim has some stuffies, but was never super attached to any of them (instead he has a favourite blankie that even today at 7 1/2 he still sleeps with).  But my other guys...

One year ago Andrew had his tonsils out.  That required general anesthesia and he was in hospital for the day.  My wife and I bought him a small stuffed beanie baby dog, maybe 8" high.  Like all beanies it had a name tag.  This one was called Roscoe, which was the same name as our dog that passed a couple of years ago.  From the moment Andrew woke up from his surgery, stuffie Roscoe has been his close companion.  Since then he's re-purposed a couple of other stuffed dogs we had into a little stuffie gang.

Back in 2015, when Josh was not quite 2, we went to the Assiniboine Park Zoo in Winnipeg.  They boys walked out of there a stuffie each.  They were basically forgotten a day later, but somehow a year after that Josh latched on to the stuffed snow leopard he received as his best friend.  He named him "Leopardie" (because he was three).  And from that day on Leopardie had to go everywhere with him.

So Roscoe and Leopardie go everywhere with us.  Any major car trip (and more than a few  minor ones) we have to track them down.  Heaven forbid we can't find them at bed time.  And sometimes that can be a challenge, because at least a few times the boys were playing Hide and Seek with their stuffies, and can't remember where they left them hiding.

Now as a kindergartener Andrew is a little less emotionally reliant on Roscoe - he doesn't come on as many car rides.  But Andrew's imagination has gone into overdrive.  Andrew and Josh will play "Stuffie Town" with their stuffies all the time.  And Andrew has imagined this whole elaborate backstory about Roscoe.  One day he told me the story about how he first met Roscoe (which had nothing to do with the story about the hospital mentioned above), and the conversation they had.  He knows how old Roscoe is and who his best friends are.  Another day he was telling me what Roscoe's super powers are, and about the villains he fights.  His powers came from his big brown eyes, apparently.

Which brings us to last night.  For some reason Andrew and Josh agree to switch stuffies for the night - Andrew will sleep with Leopardie, and Josh will sleep with Roscoe.  I didn't think they'd follow through - that Josh in particular would miss Leopardie.  But no, Josh was obviously quite excited to sleep with Roscoe.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on January 17, 2018, 11:00:22 am
Stuffed animals make great stories, they are our children first friends.

My kids have lots & lots of stuffed animal but my son lacked a teddy bear & was quite sad about it for, what seems, a long time. My girlfriend is against buying more stuffed animals but I told her to fuck off & gave the idea of a teddy bear to my aunt as christmas gift. She happily obliged & for xmas bought my son a 15$ Bear from Canadian Tire.

He named him Mamadou, it's the best gift he has ever received.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: frunk on January 17, 2018, 11:03:34 am
My daughter isn't particularly imaginative with names for her stuffed animals.  The closest to anything other than Ducky or Piggy or Doggy is Mr. Van Moose.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 19, 2018, 12:13:38 am
Another hockey-heavy parenting post.  you don't like it??  You can fuck right off. :P

So for starters I have to mention Joshie - he doesn't play hockey at age 4, but he is doing awesome in his skating lessons.  Which he had Saturday morning yet again.  He's actually moved on to gliding - not just doing a kind of shuffle-step.

Andrew... I'm one of his coaches, and it's been so much fun to be out there with the kids.  His program is "Junior Timbits" (sponsored by Tim Hortons, of course), where they go out for an hour per week, four teams per ice, for just practices and drills.  But for this final weekend, they had actual games (with temporary boards at the blue lines, and playing cross-ice).  Just knowing these kids from the start of the year, where a third of the kids you couldn't honestly say knew how to skate, has been remarkable.  For Andrew, who knew how to skate, but wasn't super into hockey at the start of the year, was skating with the puck, was fighting for the puck, and was proud to tell us he scored a goal.

And then Timothy.  I swear his team didn't win a game from the start of the season until Christmastime.  They went 0-for however many games.  But around Christmas they just started putting it all together, and they started stringing together some wins.

Two weeks ago the playoffs started.  Being kids hockey, everyone makes the playoffs - they do a round-robin tournament, with the top 4 teams advancing.  His team wins 3 of 4 and advances.  They make the semi-finals. (and just so you don't think they are some kidn of wonderkinds - there's maybe 17 different divisions in Edmonton - they made the finals in their particular division).

Now... Tim had been down on himself recently for not scoring any goals.  While starting the season a bit hot, he hadn't scored for a couple of months.  But the semis start, and his team cruises to a fairly easy win.  So on to the finals on Sunday.

On Sunday... his team (the Ice Dawgz) gives up an early goal to go down 1-0.  A little while later, there's a crazy play in their own end where the defenceman tries to rim the puck back around the goal.  Unfortunately he gets the angle wrong.  He hits the back boards, but the pick bounces almost straight back, hits the goalie from the back, and perilously sits there right on the goal line for a second or two (and honestly edges inside the goal line,but never completely crosses).  Goalie covers, ref blows the whistle, and all the parents let out a huge sigh of relief.

All this goes on in the first period.  Second period, no score.

We go into the third down 1-0.  But now the Ice Dawgz score one to tie it up.

Now back to Timothy.  On the way driving to the game he says "you know I don't really understand offsides".  I bite my tongue about "why didn't you say that any time before driving to the finals!"  And sure enough he was single handedly responsible for about 10 off-side whistles for his team.

But other than that, it was his best game perhaps all year.  He wasn't floating, he was battling for pucks.  And sure enough in the third, he deked out a couple of opposing players and scored to break it open 2-1!

His team scored one more to make it 3-1.  In the final 30 seconds in the defensive zone he tries to take the puck but instead gets called for slashing, thus making it his first penalty of his career.  You can tell he's confused (he tells me after 'I was just trying to take the puck!'), but goes to the box.  The final 30 seconds of 6-on-4 makes it sound exciting but the Ice Dawgz have it in the bag, winning the City championship, with Timmy scoring the game-winning goal.

Cripes man - in my childhood hockey career, I only ever scored one goal, which was kind of weak, but I still can remember vividly.  I hope this day is one Timothy can take with him for a long time.  So proud of him and his whole team.  It's been cool getting to know all the parents and kids over the last year.  And for the parents in particular they all seem to take it the right way - always positive, no complaining about the other team or the refs, no complaining about their kids ice time, and just really involved in the kids.

Part of me is sad the hockey season is over.  Part of me is really fucking glad however we have our weekends back again.  And a third part of me is conflicted that Tim has a soccer tryout coming up on Thursday night.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on March 19, 2018, 06:51:10 am
You are doing your country proud, B. Hats off to you, hats off.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 10, 2018, 10:48:10 pm
So during supper tonight...

out of the blue Timmy asks me "Dad, do you know what a dike is"?

I very rapidly answer "It's a thing that holds back water".

Timmy goes - "That's right!".

Tracy and I share a look, then burst out laughing.  We refuse to explain why.



A little bit later, Andrew says out of the blue "three groups of three is nine".

:blink:

I respond "that's right!  Do you know what four groups of three is"?

Andrew thinks about it for awhile, before saying "twelve".

My kindergartener is spontaneously doing multiplication.  I was super-duper proud.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on April 11, 2018, 08:06:10 am
*high fives*
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on April 11, 2018, 09:18:07 am
Nice.  Smart kids figure things out for themselves a lot of the time.  I generally try to stay out of my kids' way :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 25, 2018, 09:40:57 am
With the road finally being snow and ice free, we dug out the kids bikes a week or two ago.  At first Andrew wants to keep riding his bike with training wheels.  But last night we urge him to try riding a two-wheeler - and he takes off no problem.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 10, 2018, 03:03:27 pm
We're into hockey evaluation season now.

First step was one week ago.  On labour day monday Tim and I trudged down to the rink and he had to do three timed skating drills (two chances at each) - forwards, backwards, and then through some pylons while stickhandling a puck.

This last weekend was step two.  Based on their skating times they get divided into five groups.  They play a one hour scrimmage, with neutral evaluators from a different part of the city taking notes on each kid.  Because I'm a coach for my little kids, I start getting a serious of increasingly frantic emails about how they need volunteers to help run these scrimmage games.  So I sign up to help out.

That means on SUnday I spent about 4 hours at the rink watching all the other kids games.  I realize that the teams have been organized based on ability - that the first group of the day had the roughest skating, and each group after improved from there.  Tim is in the last group - which meant he did really well in his skating evaluation!

After my four hours, my shifts are done and I go to pick up Tim and come back to the rink.  He tells me he's tired because he's been playing with his brothers all day.  And when the game starts: well first let me tell you some of these kids are really, really good.  A couple were even picking corners of the net.  Tim though - while his skating was fine, he just didn't battle for any pucks. :(

So much for my momentary dream that Tim was going to make Tier 1...
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Syt on September 10, 2018, 03:09:05 pm
Well, he can still be a speed or figure skater. :)

(https://wydaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/IMG_0777-e1435870131557.jpg)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 10, 2018, 03:13:06 pm
Don't be crazy.


At the start of things I'd have been very happy if he made Tier 2 (out of 7 tiers).  And since they're apparently going to have 2 tier 2 teams, that still may happen.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 10, 2018, 03:30:43 pm
Yeah, you gotta keep your kid fresh if it's an important game day or try-out day.  I still remember my baseball coaches telling us not to go swimming the day of a game or we'll be too tired to give our best.

I give Tommy unlimited Fortnite access if I want him to preserve his energy the day of or night before a game :D

Your kid will be fine-- I bet he'll dominate at Tier 2 or whatever the level is called below 1.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 10, 2018, 04:01:37 pm
Yeah, you gotta keep your kid fresh if it's an important game day or try-out day.  I still remember my baseball coaches telling us not to go swimming the day of a game or we'll be too tired to give our best.

I give Tommy unlimited Fortnite access if I want him to preserve his energy the day of or night before a game :D

Your kid will be fine-- I bet he'll dominate at Tier 2 or whatever the level is called below 1.

Yeah - why put an important try-out at 4pm on a Sunday? :mad:

I'll have to consider the deploying energy-saving devices like the Nintendo before his last evaluation game. :shifty:

Yeah, I don't think he's quite Tier 1 speed - and since they tier all the way down to tier 7, tier 2 (if he makes it there) is still pretty good.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on September 10, 2018, 08:14:48 pm
But now he can't go pro Beeb.  Failure!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on September 10, 2018, 10:39:02 pm
But now he can't go pro Beeb.  Failure!

He has my genes.  There's no way he's going pro. #sadbuttrue

And the good news was he wasn't downgraded to the next level below for his last evaluation (got the new results tonight).  AND the order of the evaluations is reversed - so his group will be first next weekend.  So that, plus I'll have a gentle talk with him just about how I want him to battle to get the puck and not just let the other team take it, he should do okay.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on September 11, 2018, 08:17:29 am
Tell him to think of something that makes him mad when he's out there.  That seems to work for my kid when I want him to be more aggressive in sports.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 11, 2019, 04:03:55 pm
Funny, the last time I bumped this thread was also to talk about Tim's hockey...  because lots of what I was talking about in September continued to apply.

Sure enough he made the Tier 2 team.  And after the first three months of the season, with his team not winning a single game (and getting badly out-played), they bumped the team down to Tier 3.  Then even in Tier 3 they struggled.  Tim played exclusively defence this year (which I don't think is a great idea at this age, but didn't want to argue it with the coach).  Tim's skating is still good, he has good defensive awareness, but he's still afraid to try and carry the pick - always looking to pass.  A couple of months ago he had the puck, was almost all alone going towards the other team's net - when he stopped sharply at the blue line, looking behind him for a forward to pass to. :frusty:

But the last couple of months the team has really put it all together.  Tim will now at least fire the puck towards the net at times - they did a fun "skills competition" during the year where they found Tim to have the 2nd hardest shot, so coach keeps urging him to use it - even if he hasn't scored any goals.  He's also really solid defensively.  And after half a year he finally starts battling for pucks.

The playoffs started last weekend.  It's minor hockey, so of course every team makes it.  They do a 3 game round-robin.  Top 8 teams make it to the quarter-finals.  Well Tim's team won 2 of 3 in round robin, and handily beat the other team 5-2 in their quarter-final game.

So now they're on to the city semi-finals next Saturday! :w00t:



And middle kid Andrew has turned it on too.  He plays cross-ice, no score kept games.  I'm one of his coaches so I will be out on the ice with him.  For much of the year I would have to yell "Andrew watch the puck!" as he'd be off skating in one corner when the puck is off on the other side of the ice.  But something clicked for him too - he's now reliably near the puck, tries to play the puck, and has scored several goals recently. :cool:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on March 11, 2019, 05:46:36 pm
My younger boy tried hockey.  He was terrible at it, having not skated while still in the crib, but he had a lot of fun.  His highlight was scoring a winning over time goal in the final to win.  Well ok, the coach told him to stand in front of the net (he was the biggest kid); the goalie let a rebound go right at him; and as he spun around to try to shoot the puck he fell, lifting the puck over the goalie.  The kids on his team went wild - it was the only goal he scored that year.

And then he retired his skates.  :D
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on March 11, 2019, 07:57:05 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3-L3YwU-iQ

I imagine you've already seen this Beeb.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 11, 2019, 10:02:48 pm
My younger boy tried hockey.  He was terrible at it, having not skated while still in the crib, but he had a lot of fun.  His highlight was scoring a winning over time goal in the final to win.  Well ok, the coach told him to stand in front of the net (he was the biggest kid); the goalie let a rebound go right at him; and as he spun around to try to shoot the puck he fell, lifting the puck over the goalie.  The kids on his team went wild - it was the only goal he scored that year.

And then he retired his skates.  :D

Heh.  Nice memory.  How old was he?

Last year while Tim scored some goals early in the season, his offence had kind of dried up in the second half.  But then in the city finals, with the game tied, out of nowhere he dekes around two other kids and scores what winds up being the game-winning goal.  He also managed to get his very first penalty with 1 min left in the game, which led to a 6 on 4, but his team held off and they won.

Of course that was also the last goal he's scored period - nothing at all this year.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 11, 2019, 10:03:56 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3-L3YwU-iQ

I imagine you've already seen this Beeb.

You are correct, but still fun to watch again. :)

So that kid is 4, but I am the head coach for Josh's team full of 5 year olds.  They're just barely more advanced than that.  In particular Josh still mostly does the 'push with one foot' technique that 4 year old does.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on March 12, 2019, 10:07:02 am
@BB

He was about 8.  Despite the fact the other kids could literally skate circles around him he had a great time.  Having a really good coach and being on the best team helped a lot.

He was a very good baseball player at that age and he wanted to give hockey a go.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Valmy on March 12, 2019, 10:14:24 am
David is fairly one dimensional in 8U baseball this season. I think he is batting about .800, one of the best contact hitters in his league...but he is pretty meh at everything else. All the little jock kids all think he is cool now so he wants to play more sports. Naturally this has my mind going in certain directions but I doubt my wife would want him playing American Football or Hockey...but I am taking him ice skating a few times during Spring Break. You know. For reasons :shifty:
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 12, 2019, 10:32:49 am
@BB

He was about 8.  Despite the fact the other kids could literally skate circles around him he had a great time.  Having a really good coach and being on the best team helped a lot.

He was a very good baseball player at that age and he wanted to give hockey a go.

Yeah being 8 (in Canada) and just starting hockey could be kind of rough.  Surprised he'd be on "the best team" - would have thought he'd be put on a lower tier team so he is with kids closer to his own skill level.

David is fairly one dimensional in 8U baseball this season. I think he is batting about .800, one of the best contact hitters in his league...but he is pretty meh at everything else. All the little jock kids all think he is cool now so he wants to play more sports. Naturally this has my mind going in certain directions but I doubt my wife would want him playing American Football or Hockey...but I am taking him ice skating a few times during Spring Break. You know. For reasons :shifty:

Now Austin, Texas is not Canada!  Eight is a perfectly fine age to start hockey.  And at that age it shouldn't be even mentioned in the same sentence as football - there's no contact allowed.  The only risk is of losing en edge, falling, and hitting your head (which of course is why they wear a helmet).  One kid on Tim's team did miss a few weeks with a concussion - but he got that slipping and falling in a parking lot.  I haven't seen any kid be injured playing hockey yet.

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on March 12, 2019, 12:39:51 pm
Yeah being 8 (in Canada) and just starting hockey could be kind of rough.  Surprised he'd be on "the best team" - would have thought he'd be put on a lower tier team so he is with kids closer to his own skill level.

Yeah, we were surprised as well.  But he flew through all the athletic testing and with his size the coaches took a chance his skating would catch up.  It did (in the sense he went from horrible to passable) and if he had stuck with it he would have become a decent skater.  But with baseball and then basketball, taking his time it was really just too late to start.

David is fairly one dimensional in 8U baseball this season. I think he is batting about .800, one of the best contact hitters in his league...but he is pretty meh at everything else. All the little jock kids all think he is cool now so he wants to play more sports. Naturally this has my mind going in certain directions but I doubt my wife would want him playing American Football or Hockey...but I am taking him ice skating a few times during Spring Break. You know. For reasons :shifty:

Wow, with that kind of hand eye coordination at that age, I don't blame you for thinking about the possibilities.  For what it is worth, keep him away from football - concussions from playing football and rugby are what knocked my son out of taking basketball scholarships - the doctors recommended that he not take the risk of having anymore of them by playing in university.

I kind of wish he had stuck with baseball (he was a natural at that).
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 12, 2019, 12:43:58 pm
Valmy, I'll just leave this here for future reference:

https://www.austinmetrohockey.org/

:whistle:

Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on March 12, 2019, 12:57:35 pm
Yeah being 8 (in Canada) and just starting hockey could be kind of rough.  Surprised he'd be on "the best team" - would have thought he'd be put on a lower tier team so he is with kids closer to his own skill level.

Yeah, we were surprised as well.  But he flew through all the athletic testing and with his size the coaches took a chance his skating would catch up.  It did (in the sense he went from horrible to passable) and if he had stuck with it he would have become a decent skater.  But with baseball and then basketball, taking his time it was really just too late to start.

I'm almost pissed off on behalf of your son.  He should have been with kids closer to his skill level so he could develop his skills without having kids skate circles around him.  No wonder he hung up his skates after one year!
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: crazy canuck on March 12, 2019, 02:29:38 pm
Maybe, but he was a good athlete and so the thought of playing at a low level did not appeal to him when he was an all star in baseball and then basketball.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on April 10, 2019, 02:12:01 pm
Okay, so a couple of night ago at bedtime Andrew was cradling the ragged remains of an old receiving blanket he had as a baby (he's 7 in a couple of months) that he was going to sleep with.  I commented that for many years I had the remains of an old baby blanket that I kept in the back of a drawer, and how every once in a while I would take it out just to feel it.  I had it at least into my teens if not early 20s.

Andrew and Joshua (age 5) were horrified that I had lost my favourite blanket.They almost started to cry.  Andrew immediately insisted I could sleep with his tattered blanket tonight.  He was insistent on it.

The next day (yesterday), Joshua give me a card he had drawn when I came home from work.  It said "to daddy", and inside it had a picture of me and Joshua holding hands, with me holding my old blanket that I had lost in the other hand. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Grey Fox on April 10, 2019, 02:41:42 pm
Kids.

If I had Ovaries, they would be hurting right now.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Admiral Yi on April 10, 2019, 03:32:55 pm
Wicked cute.
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: Barrister on May 15, 2019, 02:19:41 pm
Josh had a police officer come to his kindergarten class yesterday.  The officer gave him a little police badge to wear that said "Official EPS Helper".

At bedtime he told me all about how he was going to wear the badge the next day and come to work with me, because he knows I work with the police. :)
Title: Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
Post by: derspiess on May 15, 2019, 02:38:56 pm
David is fairly one dimensional in 8U baseball this season. I think he is batting about .800, one of the best contact hitters in his league...but he is pretty meh at everything else.

Hitting is the toughest aspect of baseball (and IMO one of the toughest things to do in any sport), so if he's got that down then he's in good shape and the fielding/pitching will follow.

So .800, eh?  I guess the UT scouts won't have to travel far :D