Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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HVC

Being lazy is bad; unless you still get what you want, then it's called "patience".
Hubris must be punished. Severely.

Malthus

Quote from: HVC on December 03, 2014, 10:07:39 AM
a prank the languish father can try to pull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7HxiMWVL4g

I'd do it, if I really relished divorce.  :lol:

And possibly a certain amount of domestic violence aimed at me as a preliminary.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

Barrister

So Tracy was folding some laundry yesterday morning.

Timmy looks at one of her bras, and declares that it is a "nipple sack".  :lol:
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Grey Fox

Quote from: Barrister on December 08, 2014, 10:47:28 AM
So Tracy was folding some laundry yesterday morning.

Timmy looks at one of her bras, and declares that it is a "nipple sack".  :lol:

:lol:

My oldest says she also has breast like mom but they are smaller.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

CountDeMoney

I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.

Barrister

So driving to daycare today, my oldest goes "Daddy!  That restaurant says T I M!  That's my name!"

Yup - my oldest was able to recognize his name in the Tim Horton's sign.  Part of me is sad at the obvious commercialization, but part of me is ecstatic, because it's the first thing he's actually ever read on his own.  He's still only 4.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

DGuller

Quote from: CountDeMoney on December 08, 2014, 01:00:11 PM
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?

sbr

Quote from: Barrister on December 18, 2014, 12:29:39 AM
So driving to daycare today, my oldest goes "Daddy!  That restaurant says T I M!  That's my name!"

Yup - my oldest was able to recognize his name in the Tim Horton's sign.  Part of me is sad at the obvious commercialization, but part of me is ecstatic, because it's the first thing he's actually ever read on his own.  He's still only 4.

Nice.  :)

I'm 44 and my youngest is 19, so I will never have another kid but that is one of the things that could possibly make me consider it.

I really loved watching that tiny pink helpless thing not only grow physically, but to see them become aware of their surroundings, develop a real personality, show that they really learned something you taught them was amazing.

Razgovory

Quote from: DGuller on December 18, 2014, 12:32:01 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on December 08, 2014, 01:00:11 PM
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?

The tender age was 22.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

CountDeMoney

Quote from: DGuller on December 18, 2014, 12:32:01 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on December 08, 2014, 01:00:11 PM
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?

Yup, about a week or so after that.

DGuller

Quote from: CountDeMoney on December 18, 2014, 01:51:20 AM
Quote from: DGuller on December 18, 2014, 12:32:01 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on December 08, 2014, 01:00:11 PM
I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.
:hmm: So, did that day ever come?

Yup, about a week or so after that.
:lmfao:

Caliga

0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

CountDeMoney

The 11 year old niece was telling us about her quiz on ancient peoples the other day.

Was telling us about the Egyptian mummification process, and how it was really gross.  Not the process itself, but how they didn't use latex gloves.

The Brain

Quote from: sbr on December 18, 2014, 12:41:33 AM

I really loved watching that tiny pink helpless thing not only grow physically, but to see them become aware of their surroundings, develop a real personality, show that they really learned something you taught them was amazing.

That's quite a penis.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Barrister

Timmy: Daddy, did God screw us?

Me: :blink: Umm, how what do you mean Tim?

Timmy: How did God make us?  Did he use screws?

:lol:



Also, the other day Timmy's friend was over for a sleepover.  It's bathtime, and with 4 boys we're going to do two separate baths, with the older ones first.

But Joshua was having nothing to do with that, so when our backs were turned he hauled himself into the freshly-drawn bath, clothes, diaper and all.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.