Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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derspiess

Quote from: PRC on September 15, 2013, 12:37:50 AM
My son is just over 14 months and i'm sure like every child that age is curious about everything.  Today he was reaching out and touching our unlit gas fireplace, pulling the panel at the bottom down and pulling on the wires, slapping the glass, etc.  The wife noticed him doing it and said "No touch" while I, a little more sharply than intended loudly shouted "HEY!".  He turned around, looked a little unsure, then went full quiver-lip cry.  I felt terrible.

You'll get used to it.  My kids may hate me sometimes but they do what I say.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall


Barrister

So Grandma's been staying with us to help look after the boys during the day.

Yesterday, grandma took the boys down to the pond to feed the geese that are flying south for the winter.  Timmy was quite taken with this.

When they got home (at around the same time I did) he asks "Daddy can I be a goose?"  I said "sure".

So for the next ten minutes he's walking around on all fours going "honk honk honk!"

Then he decides he's hungry, and says "the goose wants bread".  He then insisted we feed him pieces of bread into his mouth.

The thing is, he's such a picky eater that if he wants to just eat dry bread like a goose, we let him. :lol:
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

derspiess

Quote from: crazy canuck on September 18, 2013, 11:44:39 AM
Quote from: derspiess on September 18, 2013, 09:37:24 AM
You'll get used to it. 

PRC, if you do you are doing something wrong. 

I meant you'll get used to feeling guilty.  Not that you wouldn't feel guilt.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

merithyn

Quote from: derspiess on September 19, 2013, 03:35:44 PM
I meant you'll get used to feeling guilty.  Not that you wouldn't feel guilt.

I understood what you meant. :hug:
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

crazy canuck

Quote from: derspiess on September 19, 2013, 03:35:44 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on September 18, 2013, 11:44:39 AM
Quote from: derspiess on September 18, 2013, 09:37:24 AM
You'll get used to it. 

PRC, if you do you are doing something wrong. 

I meant you'll get used to feeling guilty.  Not that you wouldn't feel guilt.

Ah ok.  My apologies

Barrister

I few more anecdotes posted for my own edification...


Timmy is using grandmas (my mom's) iPad to play a toddler game she has installed.  Somehow, and we don't know quite how, he starts playing some music that's on the iPad.  Some CCR / John Fogarty (I didn't know my mom was a fan).  Timmy starts dancing to it.  He convinces me and my wife to dance with him too.  Andrew also gets into the act. 

I never knew dancing to 'Centerfield' at 10am Saturday morning in our pajamas could be so much fun. :)


Today (Sunday) I go out to try and clean up the garage so we can park our vehicles in it for the rapidly approaching winter.  But Timmy wants to come out with me, so not so much gets accomplished.  Instead, we play a few different games, including hockey.

I bought a full-size wooden stick last year.  Timmy has a little plastic mini-stick with Lightening McQueen from Pixar's Cars on it.  We've played hockey before, just using a little plastic ball.  But today he asks me about the tape on my stick.  I reply that it's hockey tape.  Timmy then insists that I put hockey tape on his Lightening McQueen hockey stick, which of course I do. :)


After playing hockey, we go to Home Depot.  Time is enthralled when we hear the forklift, so we go and watch it load a pallet of flooring into the back of someone's truck.  But once we get into our own true, he tells me that he's ready for a nap (this in itself is remarkable).  But we try and stretch him out to get a few things for supper at the grocery store.  And at first he's fine - we find the one special grocery cart that's part fire-truck at the front for him to ride in.  So he's happy as we get our groceries.

But as we stand in the checkout, Timmy gets out and wants to push the cart.  Fine, fine - but we have to wait until we pay for the groceries.  He's okay with that.

Once we pay for the groceries though, we let Timmy push the cart.  He promptly runs into everything in sight.  We just try and help him 'steer' - and he looses it.  "I just want to push the cart!" "No I don't want any helping!"  I end up having to carry a screaming 3 year old out of the grocery store and into the truck.  In it he still screams all the way home, at which time I carry him into his bed and he promptly goes for a nap. <_<
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Grey Fox

Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

merithyn

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

CountDeMoney

Yeah, man.  Just from watching my nieces, miss the nap launch window at your own peril.

Ed Anger

That is why I keep a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

PDH

Quote from: Ed Anger on September 30, 2013, 09:01:01 AM
That is why I keep a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car.

I rub a little on my gums and the kids don't bother me anymore.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-Umberto Eco

-------
"I'm pretty sure my level of depression has nothing to do with how much of a fucking asshole you are."

-CdM

Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

CountDeMoney

Quote from: Ed Anger on September 30, 2013, 09:01:01 AM
That is why I keep a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car.

Hitting them with your flip flop instead probably wouldn't leave as many bruises, though.

Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive