Author Topic: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories  (Read 69712 times)

CountDeMoney

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #315 on: December 29, 2012, 11:05:34 am »
That's so fucking adorable.

Barrister

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #316 on: January 23, 2013, 09:25:15 am »
So I'm sitting watching the Jets game last night.  Tim is sitting on my lap.

He proudly announces "I tooted!", but then he asks "where did the toot go?"

I say it went up in the sky.  Tim asks "Up in the sky like an airplane?"  I say sure, like an airplane.

Tim thinks for a bit, the decides that "the toot went to the airport then went up in the sky". :lol:

Ed Anger

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #317 on: January 23, 2013, 01:30:54 pm »
God feeds off toots.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

derspiess

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #318 on: January 23, 2013, 01:42:25 pm »
So I'm sitting watching the Jets game last night.  Tim is sitting on my lap.

He proudly announces "I tooted!", but then he asks "where did the toot go?"

I say it went up in the sky.  Tim asks "Up in the sky like an airplane?"  I say sure, like an airplane.

Tim thinks for a bit, the decides that "the toot went to the airport then went up in the sky". :lol:

They get confused when they grow a little older and suddenly their toots aren't as cute.

Lola rarely had gas even as an infant but she had a big one the other day that scared her :lol:
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Admiral Yi

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #319 on: January 23, 2013, 02:55:37 pm »
Beeb, I think you're great, your kids are great, this thread is great.  But that last story about the toots going to the airport went full Family Circus.
I'm up $25 on DGuller.

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CountDeMoney

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #320 on: January 23, 2013, 03:36:39 pm »

Barrister

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #321 on: January 30, 2013, 04:12:35 pm »
My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house. :)


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.

I spoke with my wife over the phone today.  I asked what Timmy was doing.

"Oh he's standing at our bedroom window, waiting for the garbage truck to come".

:lol:

We had told him yesterday that the garbage truck was coming today...

Barrister

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #322 on: February 07, 2013, 09:08:42 am »
Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

He'll come up to me and say "elephants walk like this" (he then gets on his hands and feet), "elephants drink water with their trunks" (he puts his arm to his face to act as a trunk) "elephants go phooooo!" (his arm-trunk goes up in the air and he makes a sound like an elephant) "elephants go stomp stomp stomp" (he stomps around on the floor - this might be his favourite part) and "elephants wriggle their ears" (his uses his hands to wiggle his ears)

 :)

katmai

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #323 on: February 07, 2013, 09:11:13 am »
Better start reading him Babar and show him how proper elephants act.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Syt

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #324 on: February 07, 2013, 09:12:02 am »
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year oldís life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

Malthus

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #325 on: February 07, 2013, 09:19:32 am »
Better start reading him Babar and show him how proper elephants act.

As gigolos for rich old Frenchwomen?  :hmm:

 :P
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CountDeMoney

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #326 on: February 07, 2013, 04:37:59 pm »
Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

Have you explained to him that there will likely be none living in the wild during his lifetime?

derspiess

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #327 on: February 07, 2013, 04:49:11 pm »
My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house. :)


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.

I spoke with my wife over the phone today.  I asked what Timmy was doing.

"Oh he's standing at our bedroom window, waiting for the garbage truck to come".

:lol:

We had told him yesterday that the garbage truck was coming today...

That's awesome.  Garbage truck comes by our house at around 6:30 in the morning.  Used to scare the shit out of Tommy.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

derspiess

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #328 on: February 07, 2013, 04:50:03 pm »
Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

Have you explained to him that there will likely be none living in the wild during his lifetime?

What do you think zoos are for?  It's not like he's likely to go on a safari :rolleyes:
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Barrister

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Re: Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories
« Reply #329 on: February 19, 2013, 10:22:23 pm »
An Andrew story tonight.

So he's 7 months old, going on 8.  We can pull himself up to standing and cruise around on furniture like nobody's business.

He also just learned to blow his lips together and blow raspberries. Pbbbbllllttttt!

So tonight he'd pull himself up on the couch, cruise over to me, and start blowing raspberries at me.  I'd blow one back, and we had a whole spit-filled 'conversation' blowing raspberries back and forth.  :cool: