Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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katmai

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

derspiess

Cute!  I love how everyone else's kids are more cooperative than mine.  Tommy outright refused to sit on Santa's lap this year and Lola cried :mellow:
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Barrister

My wife was apparently just shocked.  Christmas last year, at 18 months, Tim wanted NOTHING to do with Santa.  But this year we excitedly waited in line, walked up to Santa, happily got in his lap, and had no problem flashing a big smile for the camera. :)

Andrew of course has a fairly stunned look, but I'm told he had to be woken up out of his car seat for the picture.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

katmai

Quote from: derspiess on December 17, 2012, 03:25:08 PM
Cute!  I love how everyone else's kids are more cooperative than mine.  Tommy outright refused to sit on Santa's lap this year and Lola cried :mellow:

What you get for miscegenation. ^_^
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

CountDeMoney

Quote from: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 03:23:40 PM
Because I need to prove my boys and cuter than Valmy's:  :P

The bald one on the left looks like he's up to something.  Plotting.  Probably lunch.

derspiess

Here's Lola.  Yeah, Santa always has that "WTF" look on his face when he has to deal with my kids :mellow:
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Malthus

Quote from: derspiess on December 17, 2012, 03:49:38 PM
Here's Lola.  Yeah, Santa always has that "WTF" look on his face when he has to deal with my kids :mellow:

:lol: She looks like she's got a pretty good howl going.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

merithyn

Adorable pics, guys. :wub:

I really think that there's something seriously wrong with me, but I really, really hated the whole Santa Visit thing. I did it only so long as I absolutely had to, then stopped. It was nothing more than a lesson in annoyance, and the kids never really seemed to care at all.

Apparently, Lola agrees with me. :lol:
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

Barrister

Quote from: merithyn on December 17, 2012, 03:56:47 PM
Adorable pics, guys. :wub:

I really think that there's something seriously wrong with me, but I really, really hated the whole Santa Visit thing. I did it only so long as I absolutely had to, then stopped. It was nothing more than a lesson in annoyance, and the kids never really seemed to care at all.

Apparently, Lola agrees with me. :lol:

Timmy seemed excited to go visit Santa. :)

Apparently he asked Santa for "presents". :lol:
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Valmy

Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Barrister

Quote from: CountDeMoney on December 17, 2012, 03:28:26 PM
Quote from: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 03:23:40 PM
Because I need to prove my boys and cuter than Valmy's:  :P

The bald one on the left looks like he's up to something.  Plotting.  Probably lunch.

I don't know how much "plotting" he can do since he started getting mobile in the last few days, but only in reverse.  I had to rescue him from underneath the Christmas tree a couple of times over the weekend.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

crazy canuck

Quote from: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 04:35:35 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on December 17, 2012, 03:28:26 PM
Quote from: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 03:23:40 PM
Because I need to prove my boys and cuter than Valmy's:  :P

The bald one on the left looks like he's up to something.  Plotting.  Probably lunch.

I don't know how much "plotting" he can do since he started getting mobile in the last few days, but only in reverse.  I had to rescue him from underneath the Christmas tree a couple of times over the weekend.

He wouldnt be very good at plotting if you were on to him now would he

Razgovory

Quote from: Barrister on December 17, 2012, 03:25:44 PM
My wife was apparently just shocked.  Christmas last year, at 18 months, Tim wanted NOTHING to do with Santa.  But this year we excitedly waited in line, walked up to Santa, happily got in his lap, and had no problem flashing a big smile for the camera. :)

Andrew of course has a fairly stunned look, but I'm told he had to be woken up out of his car seat for the picture.

18 months ago didn't Santa live to the South of him?
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Grey Fox

No Santa picture for me this year. Ariel was having of sitting on some old dude's lap. She really likes all the decorations tho.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Barrister

Timmy says "daddy, I need to go potty".

He then races off to the bathroom.

I follow, but Timmy is hiding behind the door.  As I approach, he calls our "where's Tim?"  When I enter the bathroom he jumps out and goes "boo!", and I pretend to be surprised.  This is an old game with us.

But Tim then says "Don't worry Daddy, I'm not a monster.  I'm Timothy!" and gives me a big hug.  :wub:
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.