Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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dps

He was probably abandoned as a child and raised by foster parents, so even he doesn't know.

Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

merithyn

Quote from: sbr on June 12, 2012, 04:36:46 PM
My oldest is 18 today.  That makes me feel pretty old.

:hug:

As my ex-mother-in-law told me when I complained about my babies growing up: "Wait until your youngest turns 40. Then you'll know what old feels like." :D
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

merithyn

Quote from: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 04:40:30 PM
The twins ran into the neighborhood kid they just can't stand. They opened the hostilities and Cassandra went berserker on him.  :)

My wife had to pull her off him and was was doing that authoritarian full name bullshit. CASSANDRA MARIA HAWKINS, YOU ARE IS SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME.

Me? Shit. Eating. Grin.

That was always freaking hard! How do you NOT say, "Good job, kid! Well done!"??? I always wanted to sooo badly, but knew I couldn't. Now, when we tell these stories, I get to say it, but when it happened, I had to hold my tongue.
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

Ed Anger

Quote from: merithyn on July 03, 2012, 07:53:58 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 04:40:30 PM
The twins ran into the neighborhood kid they just can't stand. They opened the hostilities and Cassandra went berserker on him.  :)

My wife had to pull her off him and was was doing that authoritarian full name bullshit. CASSANDRA MARIA HAWKINS, YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME.

Me? Shit. Eating. Grin.

That was always freaking hard! How do you NOT say, "Good job, kid! Well done!"??? I always wanted to sooo badly, but knew I couldn't. Now, when we tell these stories, I get to say it, but when it happened, I had to hold my tongue.

I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Razgovory

I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Valdemar

My oldest is a pretty decent fighter, he is reigning regional champ in judo for one.

However, I've over time taught him not to start the fights, only to stop them if he gets into them, and his trainer always told them first run, then fight. He does that, but he never, ever backs down from a challenge, which has landed him in some weird situations with older kids a few winters ago when there was a lot of snow  :D

The funny thing is KNOWING he could probably beat most kids in his grade and a good deal of those above it seems to make him content, so he never gets into trouble of that kind, not by avoiding, but rather it seems he oozes some kind of confidence that seems to work as a deterrent.

He does come home once in a while though saying "dad, I really wish I could use some judo on this guy, he is really really annoying." "Has he done anything?" "No he is just really really loud and annoyin" :D :D

V


CountDeMoney

Quote from: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 08:01:42 PM
I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

QuoteSo she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

CountDeMoney

My sister tells me that my nieces cry during those ASPCA and HSUS commercials about abused animals.  Especially the oldest one.

I almost feel bad about my part in bankrolling them.

Almost.

Ed Anger

Quote from: CountDeMoney on July 05, 2012, 08:56:30 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 08:01:42 PM
I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

QuoteSo she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

I've been getting those 'daddy, get me out of this' looks from her. I figure I can get time served by Sunday.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

merithyn

Quote from: CountDeMoney on July 05, 2012, 08:56:30 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on July 03, 2012, 08:01:42 PM
I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

QuoteSo she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

CountDeMoney

Quote from: merithyn on July 05, 2012, 10:40:37 PM
This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.

My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.

Ed Anger

Quote from: CountDeMoney on July 05, 2012, 10:48:24 PM
Quote from: merithyn on July 05, 2012, 10:40:37 PM
This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.

My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.

SWEEP THE LEG
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

CountDeMoney

The 8 year old just started karate a few months ago.  Broke her first board;  had to be 1/16" thick.   :lol:  So cute.