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Gift-giving failures

Started by Malthus, November 24, 2014, 04:40:19 PM

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Grey Fox

#15
November 24, 2014, 09:34:24 PM
I once ask for a Taco press from Mexico. Instead I got a Betty crocker quesadilla maker. My sister in law and her fiancee sure do suck at the internet, especially considering they own a website selling craft earings.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

jimmy olsen

#16
November 24, 2014, 10:53:00 PM
Quesadillas are better than tacos
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

garbon

#17
November 24, 2014, 10:56:13 PM
Not the same kind of failure, but my mother just tried to give me a gift book on Amazon (which you can setup to not reveal itself to recipient until a particular date) but failed and just gave me the gift right now. She then wrote me an emailed entitled "Shit" to tell me what she had done. Happy Thanksgiving present! :D
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

CountDeMoney

#18
November 24, 2014, 10:58:28 PM
A few years ago, my brother-in-law was having issues with groundhogs and other varmints on their property;  his mother was so sympathetic, she bought a rifle for him as a Christmas present, and tried to board the plane in St. Louis with it.  :lol:

Eddie Teach

#19
November 24, 2014, 10:59:10 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on November 24, 2014, 10:53:00 PM
Quesadillas are better than tacos

They're practically the same thing.
To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

Razgovory

#20
November 24, 2014, 11:02:47 PM
Quote from: Malthus on November 24, 2014, 04:40:19 PM
It is that time of year again ... to relate your favorite stories of terrible gifts. ;)
...

For my own entry, I have two - both gifts given by my mom to my wife.

1. When we were first married, my mom gave my wife for her birthday present ... a mop. It was admittedly a very nice mop, but the unstated message caused a certain amount of resentment on my wife's part ...

2. When we had the kid, my wife got a present from my mom - a baby hat that said "CHICK MAGNET" on it. As it turned out, my mom had no idea what that meant.

I think you might have told that story before.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Martinus

#21
November 25, 2014, 02:54:09 AM
Quote from: alfred russel on November 24, 2014, 06:01:42 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on November 24, 2014, 04:58:12 PM
Is it fair that Malthus wins the thread in the OP? :hmm:

I think sbr may have just knocked him from his perch.  :P

True, although mismatched gifts are a different leagues than purely passive aggressive intentional gifts. :D

Martinus

#22
November 25, 2014, 03:05:52 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on November 24, 2014, 10:58:28 PM
A few years ago, my brother-in-law was having issues with groundhogs and other varmints on their property;  his mother was so sympathetic, she bought a rifle for him as a Christmas present, and tried to board the plane in St. Louis with it.  :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Martinus

#23
November 25, 2014, 03:08:38 AM
Not on the same level, but initially my boyfriend would get me various self-help books about improving my outfits, managing my stress and anger etc.

This year he got me illustrated Game of Thrones. I wonder if he is trying to tell me something.  :hmm:

Syt

#24
November 25, 2014, 03:09:30 AM
I've received the usual assortment of well-meaning but crappy gifts from friends and relatives (usually books that are in the genres I would read, but far removed from the subgenres/niches I like; kind of like someone getting you a best of soccer tape when you actually only watch hockey, but hey - SPORTS!).



The worst gift was work related, though.

A few years ago, at my old company, my new supervisors were visiting from the UK. They had gone out for Italian the night before and decided to bring me a bottle of wine.

At first I thought that it was a nice gesture, but then they explained that they hadn't been able to finish it the night before and didn't want to let it go to waste.

I looked closer at the bottle and found it had been recorked and was about half full. I was literally rendered speechless. I stored it under my desk until they left, then poured it down the drain.
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Martinus

#25
November 25, 2014, 04:23:19 AM
Quote from: Syt on November 25, 2014, 03:09:30 AMThe worst gift was work related, though.

A few years ago, at my old company, my new supervisors were visiting from the UK. They had gone out for Italian the night before and decided to bring me a bottle of wine.

At first I thought that it was a nice gesture, but then they explained that they hadn't been able to finish it the night before and didn't want to let it go to waste.

I looked closer at the bottle and found it had been recorked and was about half full. I was literally rendered speechless. I stored it under my desk until they left, then poured it down the drain.

Ok this must be the biggest dick move I have ever heard of. What the fuck they were thinking?

Gups

#26
November 25, 2014, 05:57:29 AM
British businessmen unable, between them, to finish a bottle of wine at a dinner.

Country is going to the dogs.

Syt

#27
November 25, 2014, 06:11:41 AM
Quote from: Gups on November 25, 2014, 05:57:29 AM
British businessmen unable, between them, to finish a bottle of wine at a dinner.

Country is going to the dogs.

One was actually French (though you couldn't have told - his name could have been old Norman, and he spoke both French and English invariably without accent, and we and colleagues were guessing for years as to his provenience), the other a Sikh (though not of the bearded turban variety).
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Martinus

#28
November 25, 2014, 07:01:43 AM
Quote from: Syt on November 25, 2014, 06:11:41 AM
Quote from: Gups on November 25, 2014, 05:57:29 AM
British businessmen unable, between them, to finish a bottle of wine at a dinner.

Country is going to the dogs.

One was actually French (though you couldn't have told - his name could have been old Norman, and he spoke both French and English invariably without accent, and we and colleagues were guessing for years as to his provenience), the other a Sikh (though not of the bearded turban variety).

What a bunch of assholes.

CountDeMoney

#29
November 25, 2014, 09:03:21 AM
That is pretty ghetto.

"Here are some chocolates.  I left the ones with nuts in them."
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